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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogThemes::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/themes/themes.php on line 27

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogThemes::$acl is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/themes/themes.php on line 42

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogThemes::$fd is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/themes/themes.php on line 44

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogProfile::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php on line 54

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogRequest::$app is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/request/request.php on line 23

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogProfileDefault::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php on line 54

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogString::$config is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/string/string.php on line 18

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogAclRuleset::$id is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/acl/acl.php on line 42

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogAclRuleset::$group is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/acl/acl.php on line 44

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogString::$config is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/string/string.php on line 18

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogThemes::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/themes/themes.php on line 27

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogThemes::$params is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/themes/themes.php on line 34

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogThemes::$profile is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/themes/themes.php on line 41

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogThemes::$acl is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/themes/themes.php on line 42

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogThemes::$fd is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/themes/themes.php on line 44

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogString::$config is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/string/string.php on line 18

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogProfile::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php on line 54

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogRequest::$app is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/request/request.php on line 23

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogRequest::$input is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/request/request.php on line 24

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogString::$config is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/string/string.php on line 18

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogProfile::$profile is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/profile/profile.php on line 20

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogProfileDefault::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php on line 54

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogRequest::$app is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/request/request.php on line 23

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogString::$config is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/string/string.php on line 18

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogProfileDefault::$profile is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/profile/adapters/default/client.php on line 20

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogAvatar::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php on line 54

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogString::$config is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/string/string.php on line 18

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogImage::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php on line 54

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogRequest::$app is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/request/request.php on line 23

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogString::$config is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/string/string.php on line 18

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogThemes::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/themes/themes.php on line 27

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogThemes::$params is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/themes/themes.php on line 34

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogThemes::$profile is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/themes/themes.php on line 41

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogThemes::$acl is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/themes/themes.php on line 42

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogThemes::$fd is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/themes/themes.php on line 44

Living Consciously | Fulfilling Relationships: Values & Forms

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogThemes::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/themes/themes.php on line 27

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogThemes::$profile is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/themes/themes.php on line 41

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogThemes::$acl is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/themes/themes.php on line 42

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogThemes::$fd is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/themes/themes.php on line 44

Sunday, 10 September 2006

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogString::$config is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/string/string.php on line 18

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogProfile::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php on line 54

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogRequest::$app is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/request/request.php on line 23

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogRequest::$input is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/request/request.php on line 24

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogString::$config is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/string/string.php on line 18

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogProfile::$profile is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/profile/profile.php on line 20

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogProfileDefault::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php on line 54

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogRequest::$app is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/request/request.php on line 23

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogRequest::$input is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/request/request.php on line 24

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogString::$config is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/string/string.php on line 18

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogProfileDefault::$profile is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/profile/adapters/default/client.php on line 20

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogThemes::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/themes/themes.php on line 27

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogThemes::$params is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/themes/themes.php on line 34

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogThemes::$profile is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/themes/themes.php on line 41

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogThemes::$acl is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/themes/themes.php on line 42

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogThemes::$fd is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/themes/themes.php on line 44

Jason D McClain

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogThemes::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/themes/themes.php on line 27

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogThemes::$params is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/themes/themes.php on line 34

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogThemes::$profile is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/themes/themes.php on line 41

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogThemes::$acl is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/themes/themes.php on line 42

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogThemes::$fd is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/themes/themes.php on line 44

Evolutionary Relationships Interpersonal Dynamics

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogString::$config is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/string/string.php on line 18

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogString::$config is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/string/string.php on line 18

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogString::$config is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/string/string.php on line 18

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogVideos::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php on line 54

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogAudio::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php on line 54

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogString::$config is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/string/string.php on line 18

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogGallery::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php on line 54

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogString::$config is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/string/string.php on line 18

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogPost::$readmore is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/truncater/truncater.php on line 625

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EBMM::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php on line 54

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogRequest::$app is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/request/request.php on line 23

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogString::$config is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/string/string.php on line 18

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogImage::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php on line 54

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogRequest::$app is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/request/request.php on line 23

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogString::$config is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/string/string.php on line 18

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogBlogImage::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php on line 54

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogRequest::$app is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/request/request.php on line 23

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogString::$config is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/string/string.php on line 18

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogBlogImage::$absoluteUri is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/blogimage/blogimage.php on line 40

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogImage::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php on line 54

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogString::$config is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/string/string.php on line 18

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogString::$config is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/string/string.php on line 18

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogDispatcher::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php on line 54

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogRequest::$app is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/request/request.php on line 23

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogString::$config is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/string/string.php on line 18

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogDispatcher::$dispatcher is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/dispatcher/dispatcher.php on line 27

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogTriggers::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php on line 54

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogRequest::$app is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/request/request.php on line 23

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogString::$config is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/string/string.php on line 18

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogDispatcher::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php on line 54

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogRequest::$app is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/request/request.php on line 23

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogString::$config is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/string/string.php on line 18

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogDispatcher::$dispatcher is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/dispatcher/dispatcher.php on line 27

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogPost::$catid is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/triggers/triggers.php on line 36

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogTriggers::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php on line 54

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogString::$config is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/string/string.php on line 18

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogDispatcher::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php on line 54

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogRequest::$app is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/request/request.php on line 23

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogString::$config is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/string/string.php on line 18

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogDispatcher::$dispatcher is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/dispatcher/dispatcher.php on line 27

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogPost::$catid is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/triggers/triggers.php on line 36

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogTriggers::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php on line 54

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogString::$config is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/string/string.php on line 18

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogDispatcher::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php on line 54

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogRequest::$app is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/request/request.php on line 23

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogString::$config is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/string/string.php on line 18

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogDispatcher::$dispatcher is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/dispatcher/dispatcher.php on line 27

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogPost::$catid is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/triggers/triggers.php on line 36

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogTriggers::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php on line 54

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogRequest::$app is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/request/request.php on line 23

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogString::$config is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/string/string.php on line 18

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogDispatcher::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php on line 54

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogRequest::$app is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/request/request.php on line 23

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogRequest::$input is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/request/request.php on line 24

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogString::$config is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/string/string.php on line 18

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogDispatcher::$dispatcher is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/dispatcher/dispatcher.php on line 27

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogPost::$catid is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/triggers/triggers.php on line 36

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogTriggers::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php on line 54

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogRequest::$app is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/request/request.php on line 23

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogString::$config is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/string/string.php on line 18

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogDispatcher::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php on line 54

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogRequest::$app is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/request/request.php on line 23

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogString::$config is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/string/string.php on line 18

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogDispatcher::$dispatcher is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/dispatcher/dispatcher.php on line 27

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogPost::$catid is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/triggers/triggers.php on line 36

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogPost::$event is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/post/post.php on line 5897

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogThemes::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/themes/themes.php on line 27

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogThemes::$params is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/themes/themes.php on line 34

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogThemes::$profile is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/themes/themes.php on line 41

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One of the aspects of working on and in the context of personal evolution is that I am constantly in evolution in both senses of the word--"in it", as in exploring the context and in the process of my own personal evolution as well--because you see, it is never over. Our evolution, which is really about allowing the greatest depths of ourselves to unfold and manifest in the world, is never over--because our depths are infinite. If who we are is a manifestation of the divine--an outpouring of Spirit, and the Kingdom of God is Within [and I believe it is] then there is no end to uncovering, clearing, and allowing that beauty to unfold in the world.

And I never ask my clients to do anything I have not done myself and am applying in my own life. Period. As such, this post is a little more personal for me to demonstrate that.

After my divorce, and the year-long self-reflection that followed, I realized that for the most part, what consistently happened in my romantic relating was a zero-sum type of dynamic. That at the end of my relationship with a woman, she was tangibly more empowered, more comfortable with herself, more fully embodied, and proud of her womanhood.

Partly because it was my constant practice to be sure she felt loved, had per positive qualities acknowledged somehow on an actual daily basis [not the same ones, but what authentically struck me at the moment as I appreciated her at some point], that she not only had a daily reminder, with full connection and presence of my love for her [and what I loved about her and why] but that she blushed with my acknowledgments.

It was conscious. Intentional. And the relating really cost me dearly. I was psychically drained, more dis-empowered, and frankly, less of a man by the end. It was, in fact, a zero-sum game.

It was not the things I was doing that drained me. They were rewarding to just do it. It was the lack of any reciprocal expression, I think. And I other things they did that I lacked facility around.

The contrast had never been so great than after my divorce--and the dynamics never so clear as in that marriage.

Now, I never planned it that way, but once I noticed it after the divorce, I ended up having a zero-tolerance policy for romantic relating that was not about synergistic upward spirals where both people were winning--and the relating was winning too. A triple win game. Both parties were winning--AND the actual relating was winning too. It is healthier for me to just be alone and fully empowered McClain-Ness than to be in unfulfilling and relating that ultimately cost me energetically. Although it took me a while to adjust to that, and sadly there was one relationship in which she ended up being drained...but it is all a process--and sometimes that is about the pendulum swinging the other way before it swings back the middle to finally rest upon the golden mean.

But back to zero-sum...

Let's face it--people who have little or no self-respect choose bad and even abusive relationships over being alone. Me? I would rather wake up alone, be in the company of just myself, than be in an unhealthy or un-fulfilling relationship. And I never have [and never will] just go from one relationship to another. Takes at least 6 months or so for self-reflection and the integration of the learnings before we can be responsible with another's heart, But that is all romantic...

Six years later, I am just now getting to really make sure that is generalized into all relating--not just romantic.

This is all part of how I have been consciously going through ALL of my friendships, free of sentimentality or attachment, and shrewdly examining if they are rich, dynamic, healthy, and fulfilling--or if they are just habits. And then explicitly ending the friendship or deepening and continuing the friendship with more connection, engagement, and intentionality. Regardless of how much I love the individual I am in the friendship with I may be ending. The relating must also be fulfilling. and one of the most important things for me that has the relating fulfilling is emotional engagement...rather than fear and detachment. But real engagement--yet also free of identification or enmeshment.

SOMETIMES that means me making decisions for other people when their relating with me is not serving THEM. I used to refuse to do so, thinking I was availing them of the growth opportunity to declare boundaries, make those choices themselves, develop confidence in communicating their needs, etc. But given that most people are deficient in true esteem for the self, and self-respect [part of which is demonstrated by drawing boundaries] is one of the core components of esteem for the self [along with self-efficacy] but I stopped doing that. I am now quite comfortable making choices for others when they continually demonstrate they incompetent to do for themselves--so long as it is about relating with me.

That is quite enough of the why and the what. But what about the "how" Jason?

It is all about values and forms.

One of the exercises I have clients do in Phase 2 of the Personal Evolution program [and occasionally in the professional evolution program as well] is a full life, all context examination of what is important to them [values] and how they would know if it were being experienced by them; what would they be seeing, feeling hearing, doing, and experiencing that would prover to them they were experiencing value X, Y, or Z? Conflict often happens in the form [which is why politicians are scant on policy papers before the election]. Values [freedom, security, justice] are things that everyone can agree on--we all want that. The HOW of carrying them out? Conflict arises sure as the sun also rises.

So in seeking friendships or romantic relating, it is not enough to express that "communication" is important to us. For some that will mean asking about your day. For others that will mean that if you are bothered by something, no matter how small, you share your internal process. Communication is the value, but the form is different.

Anytime we are upset, barring an unresolved event from the past or a pervasive self-esteem issue, we must look to values. So this becomes a tool for elegant communication to have your needs expressed [and met] as well. One that avoids conflict or having the other person be wrong. One that has intimacy and a deeper level of understanding arise.

But that is a story for another time.

For now, do this:

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Tags:

relationships evolutionary relationships conscious relating co-dependence emotions values Communication integral

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Becoming Your Own Guru | What Triggers are and How to Best Relate to Them

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Saturday, 07 March 2020

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Jason D McClain

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Evolutionary Relationships

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Featured

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Given all this talk of responsibility and blame, how do we best relate to triggers? What are they? How do they occur?

Triggers are most often referring to feelings of hurt or anger. What I mean when I say “trigger” is that you lose the balance of your mind or that you “lose facility with self” in a disproportionate way.

Some people call it “going into red”. Some refer to it as a “trauma response”. Some refer to it as “pissing you off”, or what have you. There can be many names for it, but I think the disproportionate nature of it - where you say things you have to apologize for or simply can’t communicate responsibly - or simply yell or lash out or hurt the other person physically or verbally - is symptomatic of being “triggered”.

We usually speak about them in a relationship as if the other person is somehow to blame for our lack of emotional facility or rationality. “They triggered me” or “they made me angry” or my personal favorite “you made me worry” we can be heard saying.

Yes. That’s right: they put a gun to your head and made you fantasize horrible things may have happened to them. When really all that was happening was their cell phone battery died. Or they fell asleep. But they made you worry.

What is the problem with this?

Not only does this give our power away, but it also makes other people responsible for our feelings, which is simply not the case.

They did not trigger us - it is not their behavior that is the problem: it is our relationship to what they did that is the problem. Or it is how we interpreted it - what we made up or made it mean - that produced the emotional response in us. We got triggered. Or it triggered something from our past. More often than not, something that happened triggered off something from our past - or a series of events from our past - hence the disproportionate nature of the trigger.

We’ve all experienced this in the micro. If your lover keeps leaving dirty underwear on the counter or leaves the empty toilet paper roll on the dispenser without replacing it … and it happens over and over again - you may have a disproportionate response to that and blow up at them about that or about something else.

This is good news; something from our past that is unresolved or in need of resolution has presented itself.

This is a gift if we relate to it as such.

My partner does not trigger me. I get triggered. Or something from my past was triggered.

If I relate to it like they triggered me AND I wait for them to come in after me and “make it right” I am not only playing a victim, I am making them responsible for my trigger and my happiness. Even worse: they now have all the power over my current emotional state: and I gave it to them by blaming them.

There are also some who use this as a control dynamic/power play; withholding love or connection until you “make it right” when in fact you broke no agreements. But they hold you hostage - or perhaps you have done this yourself to someone to feel special or … extract your pound of flesh.

This is not the exercise of power - it is the use of emotional force. True power comes from developing your facility with self; learning to navigate your interiors - so that you can have ease, flow, and happiness in your life - and a funny thing happens when you do: people enjoy being around you more when you manage your own internal experience - because you are giving them the freedom to be themselves.

They will thank you for being gracious. They will thank you for being understanding. But mostly, they will continue to be more and more self-expressed as you will have clean relating absent of any shame or irresponsibly expressed anger. They won't feel blamed simply for being themselves.

Here is where I give you two new tools - practices really - one for resolving shame, hopelessness and other “emotional atmospheres” as I like to call them, and one for dissolving anger while simultaneously building empathy and compassion.

If you master these simple practices, you will enjoy lasting and increased levels of joy, happiness, and ease, where you used to beat yourself up, get frustrated or angry - or blamed others for things and felt powerless.

You will become equanimous.

This will give you true power, but it is absent of any force.

One of my favorite translations of the word "guru" is "one who is solid in themselves" - so they can not be blown over by external events. I have no interest in being your guru. But I am heavily invested in helping you become your own guru.

These tools will speed you on that path.

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Copyright

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2323 Hits

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Tags:

relationships evolutionary relationships conscious relating guru emotional triggers integral nlp chain of meaning

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The Ultimate Meditation | The Law of Attraction is Already Working For You, But Not The Way You Might Think

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Sunday, 01 March 2020

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Jason D McClain

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Evolutionary Relationships Personal Evolution Spirituality

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Metacognition is the most important capacity to develop for personal development

Communication skills: we often think of how skilled we are communicating with others but the more important skillset is how we communicate with ourselves.

You are communicating with yourself every second of every waking moment. Not just stuff you say to yourself. That's obvious. But futures you imagine. Situations you think about. Imaginings of outcomes.

This is why meta-cognition and meta-awareness is the most important capacity to develop of all.

The ability to rapidly notice any thoughts that do not serve you - because everything is self-hypnosis - and change them to positive and empowering thoughts is the ultimate skill.

For some, they never notice the negativities - and then they wonder why the Law of Attraction does not work for them. It is. It does. Whether you realize it or not. The thing you think about most often, for the longest duration, with the most emotional intensity will come to pass.

So if you wake up with anxiety, filled with worry, you are imagining negative futures or outcomes. Probably accompanied by internal self-talk about how you might fail or “what if it does not work out”? Sitting down for a 10-minute meditation to think positive thoughts about what you want to create is not going to counteract hours of worry and fear.

No.

The real meditation is becoming aware of every thought you think every moment of every day. Become aware of that - and master it - and you will master your emotions, your inner life, and ultimately realize your vision.

Even when stuff goes sideways - and you have unexpected crises, with this ingrained as a habit, you will recover much faster and find solutions far more easily, and do it while having the pleasure of knowing it will all work out just fine no matter what.

--

This is an excerpt from Jason's forthcoming book on Evolutionary Relationships from the #RelationshipContinuum section.

To be Guided by Jason - whether you are currently in a relationship and want to transform it, or you are single and want to “do the next one right” - check out the Evolutionary Relationships offering.

Or just schedule a complimentary initial conversation here to get the process started.

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1261 Hits

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Tags:

relationships evolutionary relationships conscious relating nlp meditation communication skills personal evolution integral

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogThemes::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/themes/themes.php on line 27

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogProfile::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php on line 54

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogProfile::$profile is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/profile/profile.php on line 20

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogProfileDefault::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php on line 54

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogProfileDefault::$profile is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/profile/adapters/default/client.php on line 20

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogString::$config is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/string/string.php on line 18

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogString::$config is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/string/string.php on line 18

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogProfile::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php on line 54

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogString::$config is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/string/string.php on line 18

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogProfile::$profile is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/profile/profile.php on line 20

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogProfileDefault::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php on line 54

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogProfileDefault::$profile is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/profile/adapters/default/client.php on line 20

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogAvatar::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php on line 54

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogString::$config is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/string/string.php on line 18

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogImage::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php on line 54

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogRequest::$app is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/request/request.php on line 23

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogRequest::$input is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/request/request.php on line 24

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogString::$config is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/string/string.php on line 18

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogThemes::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/themes/themes.php on line 27

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogThemes::$params is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/themes/themes.php on line 34

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogThemes::$profile is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/themes/themes.php on line 41

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogThemes::$acl is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/themes/themes.php on line 42

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogThemes::$fd is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/themes/themes.php on line 44

Monogamy and Polyamory [or Ethical Non-Monogamy] | Is One More Evolved Than the Other?

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogThemes::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/themes/themes.php on line 27

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogThemes::$fd is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/themes/themes.php on line 44

Saturday, 22 October 2005

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogString::$config is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/string/string.php on line 18

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogProfile::$profile is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/profile/profile.php on line 20

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogProfileDefault::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php on line 54

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogProfileDefault::$profile is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/profile/adapters/default/client.php on line 20

Jason D McClain

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogThemes::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/themes/themes.php on line 27

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogThemes::$acl is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/themes/themes.php on line 42

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Evolutionary Relationships

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogString::$config is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/string/string.php on line 18

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogVideos::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php on line 54

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogAudio::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php on line 54

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogGallery::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php on line 54

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogPost::$readmore is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/truncater/truncater.php on line 580

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogDispatcher::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php on line 54

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogDispatcher::$dispatcher is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/dispatcher/dispatcher.php on line 27

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogTriggers::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php on line 54

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogDispatcher::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php on line 54

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogDispatcher::$dispatcher is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/dispatcher/dispatcher.php on line 27

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogDispatcher::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php on line 54

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogRequest::$app is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/request/request.php on line 23

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogPost::$jcfields is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/plugins/system/fields/src/Extension/Fields.php on line 454

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogTriggers::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php on line 54

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogDispatcher::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php on line 54

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogDispatcher::$dispatcher is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/dispatcher/dispatcher.php on line 27

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogPost::$catid is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/triggers/triggers.php on line 36

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogTriggers::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php on line 54

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogRequest::$app is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/request/request.php on line 23

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogDispatcher::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php on line 54

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogRequest::$app is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/request/request.php on line 23

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogDispatcher::$dispatcher is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/dispatcher/dispatcher.php on line 27

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogPost::$catid is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/triggers/triggers.php on line 36

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogTriggers::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php on line 54

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogString::$config is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/string/string.php on line 18

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogDispatcher::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php on line 54

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogRequest::$app is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/request/request.php on line 23

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogDispatcher::$dispatcher is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/dispatcher/dispatcher.php on line 27

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogPost::$event is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/post/post.php on line 5897

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogThemes::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/themes/themes.php on line 27

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogThemes::$params is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/themes/themes.php on line 34

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogThemes::$profile is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/themes/themes.php on line 41

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogThemes::$acl is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/themes/themes.php on line 42

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogThemes::$fd is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/themes/themes.php on line 44

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EBMM::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php on line 54

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogString::$config is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/string/string.php on line 18

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogBlogImage::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php on line 54

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogString::$config is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/string/string.php on line 18

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogBlogImage::$absoluteUri is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/blogimage/blogimage.php on line 40

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogImage::$jconfig is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php on line 54

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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property EasyBlogString::$config is deprecated in /var/www/joomla/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/string/string.php on line 18

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[This article requires a general understanding of developmental stages in egoic, emotional, or moral developmental models, distinguished by researchers such as Graves, Kohlberg, Gilligan, etc.]

There is often talk in developmental, transformational, and alternative communities about how polyamorous and/or “open” relationships are more “evolved”. More evolved than…say the conventional forms of monogamy and marriage.

This is an easy trap to fall into, as poly- relationship forms are certainly post-conventional. There was a time when I agreed with this thinking. I used to think polyamory [distinct from what I often see which is “poly-sexual”] was the more "evolved" as is it beyond traditional structures [trans-rational and post-conventional] and by its very nature requires, and often demands advanced communication skills, a solid sense of self, a lack of attachment and more spontaneous and flexible structures than monogamy.

Plainly put—it is more challenging. But that is if it is played clean, which is all well and good on paper...but how often are poly- relationships played clean and played well? Well, not often. In my experience, they are sometimes a morass of jealousy, fear, anger, heartbreak, etc.

Additionally, the truth is, monogamy requires other sets of skill development which while different, are equally as challenging. AND monogamy requires all the aforementioned sets of skills and development if it is to be done well and stay alive and thrive. That is to say, high self-esteem and a solid sense of self, advanced communication skills, and agreements between the parties that allow for play and spontaneity as well as growth and evolution within the relationship itself. So...my thinking has since shifted.

In my experience, we cannot assess depth and evolution, using any developmental stage conception, based on form and be accurate very often. Just using the simple three-stage model I often employ of pre-rational or pre-conventional, rational or conventional, and trans-rational or post-conventional, we can see very quickly that the idea of form does not map across to any stage or level. Here is the crux of my current thinking.

We can all experience monogamy from a pre-rational, rational, or trans-rational place. And we can all experience poly- from a pre-rational, rational, or trans-rational place. In other words, form does not map across to stage of evolution with any real predictability of accuracy. Simultaneously, we can all be drawn towards one form or another…or another, as the result of our stage of development, but again, it is no guarantee which form we will be drawn to.

The key is in what the individual motivations are for seeking any particular form.

To briefly and quickly flesh this out with some big picture generalizations: we could be drawn to monogamy out of fear and attachment—a need to “stake my claim”, or out of a need to have the illusion of safety and security a monogamous commitment provides [pre-rational], or out of a desire for a practical partnership and solid family structures for children We want to have [rational], or out of a desire to explore my depths with one person as a spiritual practice for the remainder for my life [trans-rational].

On the other end of the form spectrum, We may choose poly- out of a desire to get laid as much as possible with as many people as possible [pre-rational], or out of an acceptance that We feel more aspects of myself when reflected in intimacy with more people and that better suits me [rational,] or as an expression of being Spirit at play--as an outgrowth of my experience as a spiritual being and out of a desire to explore freedom, spontaneity, and love of all sentient beings in a consensual and limitless way [trans-rational].

So we can not claim anything with respect to form of the relating being more or less evolved. Of course I wish it were simpler, but assessing evolution depends on each individual, how they are experiencing the relating and what their motivations are for being drawn to one form or another to actually assess evolution. Having tried all forms, including marriage, I like all forms for different reasons. But that is just me.

The question to ask is not which form is more evolved, but rather--are you choosing the form consciously? Are you clear about your experience of the relating and the motivations for your desires or draw to the form? Are you evolving consciously in the form of your choosing? These questions we can answer. Unfortunately, the question of which form is “more evolved” than another is a slippery slope that can easily fall into a trap of superiority and ego-centric musing.

And no one wants that…consciously.

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10881 Hits

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Tags:

relationships evolutionary relationships conscious relating values ego personal evolution integral

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Intentional Relating in Community | Responsible Interpretive Rigor With And To Others

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Thursday, 14 March 2013

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Jason D McClain

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Personal Evolution

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Some years ago I wrote some guidelines for an intentional community and what I felt would create the best convergence of wisdom and having a responsible "immune system" for a community for safety of those participating as well as the most freedom of self-expression possible, all while trying to maintain it as Evolutionary -- with constant upward spirals, part of which would certainly include plateaus in that "constancy".

Blah blah, blah.

Anyway, one of the rules I had [and hold] is that in a community with individuals engaged in personal development, where Evolution is present, it is our duty and responsibility to update our interpretations of others.

This is not so unique, and the need is obvious: people have brief interactions with others. "Snap-shots" of that person if you will. But they are brief and contextual. And yet, people then extrapolate out and assess [or judge] this person as X. They then share this interpretation of this person with others. Perhaps out of genuine concern. Sometimes just to gossip.

And those who are careful and responsible in their sharing may even say "I only interacted whit them in XYZ situation and you may have another experience of them", blah, blah, blah.

They may even check in with the person/interact with them to see if their experience/assessment/interpretation was still valid.

And right there is where we can improve this process.

The Evolutionary would check in to see where their interpretation was *no longer* valid. Observe first where we were (or could be) wrong or out of date--looking for difference rather than for confirmation--of and about their assessment.

It is uncomfortable and against human nature's tendency to go for familiarity, confirmation bias, safety, etc. but it is more rigorous in our own evolution and more useful for true human connection and more aligned with what I consider to be Evolutionary principles.

And we will be relating more accurately with the dynamic being in front of us, rather than the stale and static caricature of them in our heads.

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10092 Hits

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Tags:

Communication communication skills conflict resolution integral mindsets relationships evolutionary principles

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Evolutionary Blog

integral

Living Consciously | Fulfilling Relationships: Values & Forms

Becoming Your Own Guru | What Triggers are and How to Best Relate to Them

Copyright

The Ultimate Meditation | The Law of Attraction is Already Working For You, But Not The Way You Might Think

Monogamy and Polyamory [or Ethical Non-Monogamy] | Is One More Evolved Than the Other?

Intentional Relating in Community | Responsible Interpretive Rigor With And To Others