• Home
  • Practice Building Tips

Evolutionary Blog

Distinctions to accelerate your personal and professional evolution

Self-Esteem and the Solo-Preneur | Internal vs. External Locus of Responsibility

Read this sentence to yourself in your mind or out loud:


"My life is the sum total of my own choices; the state of my business is the sum total of my choices".

As you read that and re-read that, what is your experience? Do you feel excitement? Pride? Shame? Do you sense a burden on your shoulders? What does it weigh in your mind? Do you quickly move to insist it is not your "fault". That it was out of your control? That it was this circumstance or that circumstance? That you were "wronged"? Or "unlucky"?

Or do you experience a comforting and/or challenging level of acceptance. A "yup" with a quiet nod of your head?

One thing is for certain-your relationship to that sentence is a good indicator of your level of self-esteem, or your level of healthy egoic development in the positive sense. You see, it is not the big ego that needs defending or asserting in the world; it is the small ego. It is not the big ego that is arrogant, self-righteous, or deflects responsibility and blames others; it is the small, pre-rational, pre-conventional, vengeful, ego-centric ego.

It is a challenging re-frame for most to get their minds around. But just ask yourself this: what kind of ego could achieve a non-dual sense of reality; what kind of ego could be one with all things, moment to moment? A big, huge ego. An ego so large it can be a yes to whatever is arising moment to moment and relate to it, be a part of it. That takes an expanded sense of self. Yet that ego is also diffuse. It is large, but it is flexible. It lacks rigidity. It does not need defending or asserting; it understands its power. As a result, there is nothing to prove to anyone-not even itself.

Continue reading
0
  9401 Hits
9401 Hits

Why NOT to Use Hypnotic Sales Techniques

Why NOT to Use "Hypnotic Sales" Techniques:

Often I get asked to teach someone "hypnotic sales" or some variation; anchoring, state association, etc. The idea is that if you associate someone into a positive state, then anchor yourself to that for them, this will be an effective sales technique--even if it has nearly nothing to do with your offering or the functional fit between your prospective client, and their needs with your services.

There are other ideas and approaches about this, but I am going to give just that one example. They are all of that flavor.

These techniques are thought to be very powerful, and some of the most effective techniques available. Which is partly true. They may be in the very short-term sense. They are also a nightmare strategically, in the long-term sense. Not only do I advise against it, I categorically consider them unethical in most situations.

If a prospective client cannot remember how they arrived at the decision to work with you [and as a good measure, if you can not easily remind them in writing over an email] then you are going to have blowback at some point in the future.

"Buyer's remorse" does not quite cover it.

 

So not only do I have people agree that they will only use the tools of influence that I do teach in service of someone else's outcomes [not their own], but I also advise against and refuse to teach hypnosis or anchoring in the context of sales and influence in the Evolutionary Sales process. It is anathema to all that Evolutionary Sales is. If you are always coming from the place of using tools of influence ONLY to assist another in achieving their outcomes, it is virtually guaranteed you
 be selling ethically.

Now there are trainers and entertainers and presenters and "edutainers" who not only use the hypnotic sales techniques, but teach it, brag about it, and sell products to do the very things I mentioned above as unethical in my not-so-humble opinion. I have also dealt with enough of their customers post-fact that I can say the resentments and shattered hopes as a result of that strategy is frustrating to watch and painful to behold, empathetically.

On the one hand, given the volume that people like Christopher Howard and Tony Robbins produce in terms of attendees, it is hard not to be grateful for what they are doing in the world in exposing people to rapid transformation. And to be honest, I am not sure how you could do it any other way in terms of sales with a crowd that large.

While hypnotic sales may be effective and the only viable solution in a large crowd [I question that, but it is efficient for short-term-monetary gain]; it is a toxic approach for those of us in solo-businesses as practitioners. 

There is a better way, where all sides are more effectively served. 

 What I do know is that if you are opening a relationship [rather than "closing deals"] You must engage the prospect in inquiry, mostly to be certain you can be of service. Once that is assured, direct them to consider if they did have the solution they seek what it would open up in their lives and then if you are certain you are a fit for their needs and they are a fit for you, then you can ethically open the relationship.

This is the process we teach in the Coaching the Life Coach Apprentice Program. This is the approach that assures conversion rates of over 95% AND what I call a "stick rate". In other words--no relationship fall off from buyer's remorse.

At the upcoming event I am not only going to teach this entire ethical sales process for free, but I will give you all the nuts and bolts you need to have high conversion rates in your introductory sessions.

Every nut and bolt I know how to deliver to you. In service of you having sustainability of finances, your clients having sustainability of change, so we can all create a better world together as we accelerate the Evolution of Consciousness.

Join us. RSVP now to reserve your spot

0
  5821 Hits
5821 Hits

Your Success Equation | Thoughts Action Will | Part 1: Thoughts

Thoughts + Action + Will = Your Dream or Vision Becoming a Reality

'

 

There is much discussion about what it takes to be successful—and what it takes to be an entrepreneur. What it takes to succeed at owning your own business. Or stated differently, what it takes to “manifest” your vision in the world.

And while many people try to emulate personalities, rather than systems—which is a sure-fire way to fail—and there are certainly tangible, unique characteristics that have a Steve Jobs or a Barak Obama, or a _________________  succeed, there are those that want to sum it up to “luck” or “chance” or “connections”. Or “timing”. Or, “that is just them”.

While there is a certain amount of all of those that will aid one in bringing their vision into the world—they only help.

Even without those additional “helpers” we have a huge amount of latitude and control over the degree of our success—and even whether we succeed—or not; and to what degree. And often the successful management of the following aspects can assist those helpers in appearing and happening as if by “magic”. 

There are three components or ingredients to having your vision become a reality

1. Thoughts  2. Action  3. Will [The Will to Carry It Through]

Thoughts 

So many people reduce this to the Law of Attraction only, and worse, want to have you believe you have already earned your success somehow—before you have actually produced anything or taken any action. Essentially before you have produced anything of value to others in the world.

I reject that wholeheartedly.

While the Law of Attraction is critical—and demystifying it equally so—so that you understand not only that it does work, but also why and how—it is not the only way to manage your mind that is critical. There are others seldom talked about.

Because I cover this at length in my Outcome Inevitability audio and I provide my clients and those who are members on the coaches site have access to—and also on the free Evolutionary Sales podcasts on iTunes—and others have done so as well…

Because of that, we will leave that in this writing and go to the meatier subjects :::

Thoughts: The inspired IDEA

You must have an idea. It does not have to be original. However, it must be at the right place in the “curve”. In other words, it has to either be a proven business model but not yet saturated in the market—or it can be new, but the technology and the market must be there to support the idea. AND it must not be on the sloping end of the curve—an idea that is making a lot of money now, but whose course has nearly run out or is about to end.

One of the greatest skills an entrepreneur must have is the ability to accurately perceive where the market is headed. There is no replacement for this skill. It means the difference between great success, failure, or middling success—and likewise great profits, or great losses. And while an entrepreneur knows that “failures” can be the sharpest learning opportunities, they can be costly, and well, let’s face it—less fun 

Thoughts: Deeper Meaning | Purpose

Additionally you must be able to tie it to deeper meaning. You’re not just creating a cool product or service—you are improving the lives of others—and ultimately making the world a better place somehow. You are serving humanity itself in some deep, meaningful way. Even with a small piece of software. Or a coaching offering. Or a new convenience appliance.

Continue reading
0
  9168 Hits
9168 Hits

Your Success Equation | Thoughts Action Will | Part 3: Will

Part 1 can be found HERE.  Part 2 can be found HERE.

The final variable in your personal equation for success is Will. The Will To Carry It Through.

Even if your thoughts are aligned, your actions directed appropriately, and all other factors are in alignment and in support of your desired outcomes, if you lack the will to carry it through you will fail. AND you will fail in the worst way—as a result of your lack of will; something entirely under your control and an aspect of your very own making.

To be blunt: a function of your character. 

That’s tough for people to absorb.  They will want to look outside. As if the locus of their responsibility somehow lies outside of themselves. Somehow belongs to another. Somehow it is a matter of circumstance whether they succeed or fail. AND while it is certainly easier to blame outside forces, people, elements, and /or circumstances, there is no power in that. There is no way for you to learn and shift and adjust. You end up hobbling your own growth, development, and professional evolution for this short-term comfort. And you sell out your short-term success and achievement.

Even if it is true, you give all of your power to succeed over to the ghost of blame. The apparition of an outside locus of responsibility.  You lose your ability to adjust to the new information that you are being presented with. 

In addition to that, there are multiple metaphors that speaks to what it takes to succeed often simply being about endurance—about will and the will to “finish the _________ .” the fight goes to the last man standing. The race goes to the runner who simply finishes.  Etc., etc., ad nauseum infinitum.

“The same is true when we begin a marathon race. We may start out with enthusiasm because our energy level is high, but we must then run the race with endurance to reach the finish line. Some race to reach the line in first place, other runners’ motivations may be more personal; their goal is simply to finish.” --Harry Connor Jr

It is that last 2 percent. The will to carry it through despite the obstacles. Most people quit at 98%. Most quit the game just before they are about to win. They lose their commitment to the game in the 4th quarter—and then the underdog produces an upset.

AND there will be obstacles to bringing your IDEA into the world. They will include but are not limited to

  • You think your IDEA is original and you find out it is not. At all.
  • Naysayers
    • People will tell you are crazy or your IDEA won’t work
    • You may be ridiculed in the press [or lied about]
    • Your friends or family may think you’re insane. Sometimes literally. Other times figuratively.
    • Small-minded folk may want to see you fail out of envy or out of shame around their own lack of success, etc. [not “true friends”, in my book, but make your own choices there]
  • You’ll discover platforms or technology you’ve invested in aren’t working as expected or not working at all for the intended purposes that had you invest in them in the first place
  • Distractions in your own life 

If you are to bring your IDEA into the world; if you are to manifest your vision as a reality “in the firmament”, as they say; if you are to bring it from an IDEA to concrete reality, you must let nothing stand in your way. That does not mean to run them over or blast through them—your actions and the way in which you overcome them still must be ecological in this sense ::: they must be “good” in Self, Other and Community, and for the World/Nature. However, you must go over, around, under, and as a last resort, through the obstacles to achieve your goals.

The most important obstacles are distractions. These are entirely under your control. They are the function of a mind that lacks discipline. They include but are certainly not limited to :::

  • People [friends, romance, etc.]
  • Experiences and desires for experiences
  • “Opportunities” that seem like a good idea, but aren't

I could go on and on about how these things can, do, and might distract you, but really there is a solution that covers the bases :::

Whatever you choose to do, make sure it is in alignment with your vision; make sure it serves. Be it a relationship, a lover, a partner in business, collaboration, a financial opportunity, or a new business venture.

Say no to the rest so you can say yes to the best. AND in this case, the “best” means your own, personal vision for what you want to bring into the world.  For your future. You’re your own achievement and satisfaction. For the fulfillment that comes from contributing to the world in a positive way.

For the Good. For the True. And for the Beautiful.

I understand—and have experienced personally—that means you will make tough choices. You will have to say no to very compelling experiences. AND it is critical to your success.

You must have the will to carry it through to success—or to a dignified, rational end—as the only viable option. The only acceptable outcome.

That does not mean to be pig-headed when you are wrong or you are headed down the wrong path or run up against an obstacle. Quite the contrary; it means adjusting with flexibility, fluidity, to new information conditions in service of the outcome. It means having a fixed outcome, but a variable, flexible approach. You may know what you will bring into existence, but the how may have to adjust.

That also means constantly integrating feedback—no matter how harsh it may be or how neutral or how numerical—or frankly, how personal. Some people will attack you personally. Trust me. Ad hominem attacks are all too common. 

Continue reading
0
  6579 Hits
6579 Hits

Your Success Equation | Thoughts Action Will | Part 2 ::: Action

Part 1 can be found HERE.   Part 3 Can be found HERE.

 

Part II ::: Action

 

We covered the first variable in your equation for success ::: thoughts. And the third ::: Will.

 In this post we will cover the 2nd variable in your equation for success ::: Action.

 

Deliberate. Consistent. Action.

 

Many talk about the need to take “massive action”.  While this is useful, I disagree.  AND I disagree not because that approach is ineffective, but rather because it is harmful to the system ::: it is un-ecological.

Taking massive action can burn one out and then they must stop and take a breather. Then they go into massive action again. And they get burned out. And so it goes, the cycle infinite, ad nauseum. There is a fundamental lack of balance. Over time, this will lead to resistance to projects, significant health issues—a lack of lack of healthy being-ness with families, spouses, children, life partners, and lovers, who are lacking engagement from you—feeling a love deficit.

AND at worst, addictions—be they food or drugs or alcohol or relationships—so that people can detach and become disembodied.  So they can stop feeling how bad this approach feels in their body.

 

While those who advocate this approach are coming from a positive place, to be sure, I have only 1 question ::: “do we want to be advocating an approach that leads to the above pathologies?

Of course not.

 

This lack of balance and consistency pervades our culture to no good end—long term.

 

However, there is a more whole-istic [taking your whole system into account with a long term view added as an additional dimension] way of approaching action…

Think of your business—and your action around your business—like an extension of your body. Would you go to the gym for the first time and automatically try to spend 2 hours on the stair master? Of course not. Would you go to the gym for the first time ever and expect to bench press 300 pounds? Of course not. Even if you were actually able, somehow, to physically complete those “goals” you would be so wiped out the following day—and so sore—that you may or may not return.

Continue reading
0
  6322 Hits
6322 Hits