NLP Training, Spiral Dynamics, Rapport, Values

This quote/principle is one of those things Ialways knew and in my early and mid-20s

discovered frameworks to know what specifically it reveals about them so we can have a deeper understanding as well as more skillful means of communicating with them.

This is just one of the reasons I include a section on Spiral Dynamics and the evolution of value spheres in 2025 NLP training because it gives us an incredibly elegant framework to not only discern but to speak into the values of others while fostering a sense of deep understanding, but also knowledge around what they need to let go of or what they need to embrace to reach the next higher or deeper stage of unfolding.

And yes. There are even applications in contexts like marketing, but what it does in every context is it allows us to see and understand why and how others see the world differently than we do even if - especially when (?) - we don't agree with them. I remember about a decade ago I was leading a sales training and spent a couple of hours on spiral Dynamics and taught the organization how to determine which value sphere the person they were attempting to enroll was coming from, and which language would speak into their world about the services they were offering in a way that could be better heard. Same product or service, slightly different language. Still accurate. But spoke to different values.

For this particular set of skills and distinctions they were teaching, some people were going to be interested in deeper connection, intimacy, and community.

While others would be interested in learning it as a skill set to become more competent. One set of values is the Green meme the other set of values is the "Orange" meme.

Why just focus on those two memes? They're the ones that actually might be interested in those kinds of services and they're also economically the largest clump in our society.

I bring up this particular example because one of their directors spoke to me afterward and she said very excitedly, "I'd always loved the model Spiral Dynamics but I had no idea how it could be useful for us".

That of course is one of the things I love to do, is to have these abstract models and Frameworks grounded in real-world applications for people. Take systemic thinking, and give it utility.

More importantly, for my broader point: if you're going to help someone evolve, you need to begin by entering their world first.

Only once you've entered their world can you then expand it.

And while getting rapport through things like matching and mirroring physically can be very powerful and very rapid, it is also momentary and transient. Once you understand somebody at a very deep level and can speak to their values they will feel seen in a way that is relatively rare for them, and if you are to be in service of them, this is just one critical component.