Your Self Worth is a Settled Matter 

I wrote this to a client in an email and thought it may be useful for others to read:

The mountain we climb in Personal Evolution is a bit like a mirage while hiking/climbing a mountain. You could stop now and camp for the night--or say screw it and go back down the mountainside. You can also see there is a reachable summit. So you choose to go further--yet...when you reach what you thought would be the summit, there is yet another summit that materializes out of the mist. And this goes on forever. There is no omega point except when you choose to simply stop and rest. 

Each of us have that choice every day. For some, we still consciously choose to continue to deepen our depths--and plumb just behind them. There is no end or bottom to the depth, there are only unplumbed depths. For others, they have achieved a high enough peak, that there is no motivation--no real life reason--to climb the next.  And there are others I will not list in the interests of time. I choose--consciously--to evolve further when I should or must--that is when my business or financial or relational results are inhibited by some aspect of myself. Otherwise, I am pretty darned content with where I am at--BUT I still need to have constant attention on where I need to be for others in the context in which I want to move with greater velocity--or frankly, sometimes, ANY velocity.

I urge you to make the same or a similar real world criteria as you become more and more comfortable with who you are...and as you come to full acceptance of yourself, there is a pitfall of not caring what others think--and disregarding their feedback. Care what others think in practical terms--and care deeply--as it fosters results. Do not care about their opinions and judgments of you on a personal level. That is--think about the practical results and adjust, but know that as an internally validated man, the matter of your self-worth is settled. The question of the value you bring to people and the world in this context or that context, well, that is never settled as it depends on too many variables [each individuals expectations and sensibilities, your skill and competence in the domain, your sensitivities/awareness when adjustments are needed, market forces, etc.]. But that is a separate practical matter.

The personal: your self-worth, is a settled matter. It is...well, pick your preference/metaphor: it is good. It is priceless. It is worth-full. It is Spirit manifest. It is divine. 

As for the seeking of approval-that is obviously pretending as if your worth could be determined externally. It can not. Whether you realize it yet or not, you still have to accept the opinion of others--good, bad, right, wrong--to have their opinions matter. In other words, you have the ultimate choice still--even if you are not exercising it to as full a degree as you will enjoy in the future.

But why even do this work? What does it make possible? Why spend the time, energy, and the--at times--grueling work of dis-identification, detachment, and internalizing validity when you notice it as external? Why forgo the feel good and the short term false ego pump of compliments?

In a word: Freedom. 

Freedom from what? Freedom from the ebbs and flows of the opinions and judgements of others. Why is this important? So you can gather feedback, without the moral and emotional cloud of personal meaning. Here is the challenge with tying your valuation to another's opinions: you are not only cast about from one end to the other, AND the problem with that is that people react from and interpret through their stage of egoic, emotional, and values meme stage of development. There will be patterns and probabilities, and all feedback is valid for them, but there is only so much contorting you can engage in, and stay sane and centered, and more importantly, live authentically--true to yourself.

Additionally, believe me, as someone who has literally had people tell me I am a god [literally] on more than one occasion and at times, had people tell me I was an asshole and the devil's spawn [literally] I came to realize that no matter what they say, the truth is somewhere in the middle, and their acknowledgments and their judgments are worth only one thing: getting specifics around those experiences [I did X Y and Z in A context and they felt B emotion as a result] for the purpose of adjusting my behavior for improved results. Their characterizations are worthless except as crude pointers to their stage of development.

And even then, I have to gauge how valuable it is--determined solely by how large a percentage of people are at that stage and would react/interpret the same way. All feedback is valid--and everyone's emotional experience is val-id as it is and to be left untouched unless requested otherwise. However, not all feedback is valu-able.

Now, what I can not say is where the line is between the idea that they are responsible for their own emotional experience--and you are not--and where you are responsible for your impact on others and the results you garner. That is a line I have yet to determine for myself after nearly a decade of inquiry. I do know that I tend to move more and more towards having room for the emotional reactions I create in others-sometimes by simply walking through the room, or making a benign comment about my schedule, or not noticing someone in a room I am in--having space for that and having them feel valid without my trying to adjust their experience is a skill I am still developing and only in the last year and a half feel fully competent at. And I get it right about 65% of the time.

Circling back--the thing to remember is that you are already determining your own worth, by agreeing or disagreeing with those who assess you as good/bad or some variation. You still have to buy into their perspective. And since you are the ultimate decider, decide now, that irrespective of the value assessments they are making and the validity of the feedback, the matter of your self-worth is settled.

We were told a lie as children--something about original sin. It is more accurate to say we were born with universal innocence. And imagine, the preciousness and the innocence of a blameless child. At your core...that is you irrespective of any behaviors that are not aligned--YOU, at your core, are precious and pure, and have a hologram of divinity that you are reflecting and projecting.

To think otherwise is an error--a mistake--and nothing more.

In Service and in Evolution,

Jason

Read this sentence to yourself in your mind or out loud:

"My life is the sum total of my own choices; the state of my business is the sum total of my choices".

As you read that and re-read that, what is your experience? Do you feel excitement? Pride? Shame? Do you sense a burden on your shoulders? What does it weigh in your mind? Do you quickly move to insist it is not your "fault". That it was out of your control? That it was this circumstance or that circumstance? That you were "wronged"? Or "unlucky"?

Or do you experience a comforting and/or challenging level of acceptance. A "yup" with a quiet nod of your head?

One thing is for certain-your relationship to that sentence is a good indicator of your level of self-esteem, or your level of healthy egoic development in the positive sense. You see, it is not the big ego that needs defending or asserting in the world; it is the small ego. It is not the big ego that is arrogant, self-righteous, or deflects responsibility and blames others; it is the small, pre-rational, pre-conventional, vengeful, ego-centric ego.

It is a challenging re-frame for most to get their minds around. But just ask yourself this: what kind of ego could achieve a non-dual sense of reality; what kind of ego could be one with all things, moment to moment? A big, huge ego. An ego so large it can be a yes to whatever is arising moment to moment and relate to it, be a part of it. That takes an expanded sense of self. Yet that ego is also diffuse. It is large, but it is flexible. It lacks rigidity. It does not need defending or asserting; it understands its power. As a result, there is nothing to prove to anyone-not even itself.

"Ego" has fallen on such hard times, particularly in the West for precisely the same reasons that are implicit above: most people seldom develop beyond stage 1 or 1.5 with their own ego, and since that stage of egoic development gets all the press, as it is loudest and most offensive to the senses, and most people are intuitively [and rightfully so] hesitant to talk about stages, as sadly most people use it to imply superiority in the context of worth, we engage in false reductionism  and label all "ego" as bad.  In that moment we engage as well in a bit of self-hatred [we must] and create internal dissonance [again, necessitated by our thinking] and yet, if ego is the very seat of our consciousness, there is no way to "annihilate" or "transcend " our ego. To attempt to do so is tantamount to philosophical suicide.

And there is insurmountable evidence proven by plenty of studies, from Dr Graves to Kolberg to Gilligan that these waves of unfolding are bigger in terms of how much they can contain and the number and breadth of what they can relate to; from ego-centric to ethno-centric to world-centric.

So, we can not truly or actually transcend it or annihilate it. However, we can evolve it.

So...what about stage 2? Stage 2 is not the vengeful ego, but an egoic consciousness focused on Justice. And stage 3 would be focused (or have a center of gravity around) or be Grace-centric and world centric. It is also often quietest--yet energetically "largest" or "Brightest". Think of the force of the ego of Mother Theresa. Imagine her penetrating eyes. The light she must have been in the room. Meek only in the traditional quiet voice sense, but radical Spirit manifest; hardly meek in the egoic sense.

And if we consider that, sweeping aside our preconceived notions about what the word ego usually means in our popular culture, and we begin to get a grasp onto that very upward spiral we all inherently must climb as we ascend or deepen in our own developmental paths, we see the truth.

At this point you may be asking what the heck this has to do with being in business for yourself?!

Let's look at self-esteem.

We use Dr Nathaniel Branden's definitions that self esteem has two equal and necessary parts or components: knowledge of your efficacy [knowing you are competent and effective enough to handle what life throws at you] and your self-respect, or the feeling that you deserve to be here and have a good life; that you are "appropriate to life". We could think of these two components as: your value (in the marketplace) and your worth (your divinity); your negotiated worth and your unquestionable worth; that which can be developed and improved and marketed and that which is unquestionably priceless. Your guilt [the feeling that we did a thing that was in violation of our own value set as Mr Mark Michael Lewis states] and our nervous system is more activated to be sure we do not do it again] and our Shame [the extra move of then judging ourselves as worthless or "bad" at our core as a result.

You must begin to understand that most have their value and their worth collapsed. This is why we engage in shame: we confuse our efficacy with our worth; our finances with who we are at our core; our social reputation with our divine nature. But your self-worth is a settled matter-no matter how much you attempt to outsource it to others and give them the apparent right to pass judgment on you and determine your "worth". At the end of the day, you have to agree or disagree with them to feel into their judgments.

No one can truly impact your self-esteem positively or negatively without you first giving them permission. Period.

Otherwise, we would call it "other esteem". Heh.

I have yet to find someone going into business for themselves for the first time who did not suffer unnecessarily from questions of worth, self-doubt, and/or inquiring "who are they to X, Y, Z.".

Who are you not to? Who are you to keep your gifts from the world? To make that global choice? That is the chilling question.

But on a more practical level, your self-esteem, or your level of egoic development in the healthy sense, will determine how quickly you rebound from negative and unexpected results. It will determine how well you are paid in relationship to how much value you offer others in their lives-and how easily you ask for what you are owed. It will determine how quickly you adjust and adapt to current fluctuating market conditions. It will determine how easily you accept and incorporate feedback. It will determine how easily you can admit errors and move on...

All necessary attributes for a thriving solo-preneur. All necessary attributes for you to thrive in a freer market economy. All questions ignored, stepped over, or only [if forced to] embarrassingly addressed by most courses in small business or even in courses like our CLC. Questions that in the Coaching the Life Coach program we spend an entire module on-and we do it first. Until these errors in thinking, as well as flashpoints in our past are addressed and resolved to a certain degree, teaching you how to build a business will only increase your anxiety and create internal dissonance.

And that would be...well...unkind.

Action steps:

Make a decision today to ask yourself these two questions any time you get results that are unpleasant or unwanted, and could be blamed on another external force, albeit the government, the market at large, your target market, or even God/dess Almighty her/himself:

1.    How am I responsible?
2.    What can I learn [that is positive or empowering; what structures can I put in place to resolve it?]

The first question may be hard to swallow. Good.  You will need to expand your sense of who you are to answer it honestly and usefully. And remember: responsibility does NOT equal fault or blame. Those are separate matters. Take this practice on and you will begin to evolve your ego.

Why?

Because to be able to step into a world-centric life or spiritual purpose, developing an ego that is large enough to take that on without internal questions of doubt and worth is essential for your happiness and your internal harmony. Both things which, even while stretching and challenging you, I hope these writings will increase.

In Service,

Jason D. McClain

Why NOT to Use "Hypnotic Sales" Techniques:

Often I get asked to teach someone "hypnotic sales" or some variation; anchoring, state association, etc. The idea is that if you associate someone into a positive state, then anchor yourself to that for them, this will be an effective sales technique--even if it has nearly nothing to do with your offering or the functional fit between your prospective client, and their needs with your services.

There are other ideas and approaches about this, but I am going to give just that one example. They are all of that flavor.

These techniques are thought to be very powerful, and some of the most effective techniques available. Which is partly true. They may be in the very short-term sense. They are also a nightmare strategically, in the long-term sense. Not only do I advise against it, I categorically consider them unethical in most situations.

If a prospective client cannot remember how they arrived at the decision to work with you [and as a good measure, if you can not easily remind them in writing over an email] then you are going to have blowback at some point in the future.

"Buyer's remorse" does not quite cover it.

So not only do I have people agree that they will only use the tools of influence that I do teach in service of someone else's outcomes [not their own], but I also advise against and refuse to teach hypnosis or anchoring in the context of sales and influence in the Evolutionary Sales process. It is anathema to all that Evolutionary Sales is. If you are always coming from the place of using tools of influence ONLY to assist another in achieving their outcomes, it is virtually guaranteed you
 be selling ethically.

Now there are trainers and entertainers and presenters and "edutainers" who not only use the hypnotic sales techniques, but teach it, brag about it, and sell products to do the very things I mentioned above as unethical in my not-so-humble opinion. I have also dealt with enough of their customers post-fact that I can say the resentments and shattered hopes as a result of that strategy is frustrating to watch and painful to behold, empathetically.

On the one hand, given the volume that people like Christopher Howard and Tony Robbins produce in terms of attendees, it is hard not to be grateful for what they are doing in the world in exposing people to rapid transformation. And to be honest, I am not sure how you could do it any other way in terms of sales with a crowd that large.

While hypnotic sales may be effective and the only viable solution in a large crowd [I question that, but it is efficient for short-term-monetary gain]; it is a toxic approach for those of us in solo-businesses as practitioners. 

There is a better way, where all sides are more effectively served. 

 What I do know is that if you are opening a relationship [rather than "closing deals"] You must engage the prospect in inquiry, mostly to be certain you can be of service. Once that is assured, direct them to consider if they did have the solution they seek what it would open up in their lives and then if you are certain you are a fit for their needs and they are a fit for you, then you can ethically open the relationship.

This is the process we teach in the Coaching the Life Coach Apprentice Program. This is the approach that assures conversion rates of over 95% AND what I call a "stick rate". In other words--no relationship fall off from buyer's remorse.

At the upcoming event I am not only going to teach this entire ethical sales process for free, but I will give you all the nuts and bolts you need to have high conversion rates in your introductory sessions.

Every nut and bolt I know how to deliver to you. In service of you having sustainability of finances, your clients having sustainability of change, so we can all create a better world together as we accelerate the Evolution of Consciousness.

Join us. RSVP now to reserve your spot

{readmore}

One of the CLC3 Apprentices recently asked me a very important question.

He asked about the problem of becoming attached to the outcomes of the client--in other words, “what happens if they do not achieve them? What happens if they do not hold up their end of the bargain [doing homework, reading, etc.], and what does that mean about us? How do I avoid this problem—and the discomfort of it all”.

“And what happens if--even worse, they have already paid in advance in full and it becomes clear they are not keeping up with the milestones that are necessary as sign-posts on the way to their destination we call 'goals' or 'outcomes'? What do we do?”

This is an important question and it has a several-part answer. It is important because it comes up for most coaches and practitioners; at some point you really, really want XYZ for the client. Yes, they must be outcomes the client wants [not outcomes you see they "need" but they do not resonate with] but even still, with their outcomes we get emotionally engaged--we care--and we want them to have XYZ really badly.

Part of the challenge is that we are not responsible for the lives of our clients--we can't be. They would get less out of the process if we were; at best, we would actually be inhibiting their growth if we take on that responsibility. They might blame us; they would take less responsibility for creating the life they want and deserve. It could become the coaches "fault" or for some, the coaching [or whatever you call the process] will be just another thing that did not work for them, etc.

And we created that with our attachment.

So the first part of the answer is to make clear to the client--practically--that we are not responsible for their life; that they are. How do we do this? We write it directly into the client-coach agreement that they "are responsible for the results of their life, business, relationship", etc. And given how some people can be when they are making large life-altering decisions, we review the agreement and then we further clarify and have them initial each paragraph while reviewing it with them to make sure we have done our due diligence as a practitioner in making sure they understand the nature of the relationship is one of trusted adviser--nothing more—and that they understand the agreement in full.

That is the practical aspect.

What about the interpersonal aspect? The actual coaching dynamic? Because you see, to complicate matters if you seem attached [that is you start become emotionally attached to their outcomes, you may engage them in a way that has them polarize, dig in, and resist you--and they start to resist you in ways that will not serve the process overall.

Or worse...

Or worse--they do not do their "homework"--whatever that may be or represent--and they are scared to tell you. In the worse cases they may simply go missing in action. Or they become dishonest.

This is simply another reason I am not a "coach" I am a "Guide" and that approach is something I am careful to embody in every interaction--they do not do their "homework" I communicate to them--with a compassionate smile and a shrug--that I want them to get their outcomes. That I care; and I may even ask them how they best want to be supported. How they want to be held accountable--and I have them design the dynamic.

I have found this softer approach--with nothing for them to resist or push back against--is far more effective than any hard-nosed techniques by far.

Finally [and at times most importantly] is our own development as we, as practitioners, continue our path: who we are is not the results we assist clients in achieving [both positive, amazing over-the-top goals as well as "failures". Who we are is not that.

Those are the results we assist them in producing, to be sure, and we are professionally responsible for that, but who we are is that which is experiencing it all. Who we are is that Witness; that locus of awareness. And as we come from that place, we will be even more effective, they will feel more freedom to expand and grow within that gentle, ever-present embrace. From that place, where universal beauty unfolds, we are reminded why we do what we do--for that expansion. And within that expansion a better, more joyous, more beautiful world awaits us all.

Part 1 can be found HERE.  Part 2 can be found HERE.

The final variable in your personal equation for success is Will. The Will To Carry It Through.

Even if your thoughts are aligned, your actions directed appropriately, and all other factors are in alignment and in support of your desired outcomes, if you lack the will to carry it through you will fail. AND you will fail in the worst way—as a result of your lack of will; something entirely under your control and an aspect of your very own making.

To be blunt: a function of your character. 

That’s tough for people to absorb.  They will want to look outside. As if the locus of their responsibility somehow lies outside of themselves. Somehow belongs to another. Somehow it is a matter of circumstance whether they succeed or fail. AND while it is certainly easier to blame outside forces, people, elements, and /or circumstances, there is no power in that. There is no way for you to learn and shift and adjust. You end up hobbling your own growth, development, and professional evolution for this short-term comfort. And you sell out your short-term success and achievement.

Even if it is true, you give all of your power to succeed over to the ghost of blame. The apparition of an outside locus of responsibility.  You lose your ability to adjust to the new information that you are being presented with. 

In addition to that, there are multiple metaphors that speaks to what it takes to succeed often simply being about endurance—about will and the will to “finish the _________ .” the fight goes to the last man standing. The race goes to the runner who simply finishes.  Etc., etc., ad nauseum infinitum.

“The same is true when we begin a marathon race. We may start out with enthusiasm because our energy level is high, but we must then run the race with endurance to reach the finish line. Some race to reach the line in first place, other runners’ motivations may be more personal; their goal is simply to finish.” --Harry Connor Jr

It is that last 2 percent. The will to carry it through despite the obstacles. Most people quit at 98%. Most quit the game just before they are about to win. They lose their commitment to the game in the 4^th quarter—and then the underdog produces an upset.

AND there will be obstacles to bringing your IDEA into the world. They will include but are not limited to

• You think your IDEA is original and you find out it is not. At all.
• Naysayers
  • People will tell you are crazy or your IDEA won’t work
  • You may be ridiculed in the press [or lied about]
  • Your friends or family may think you’re insane. Sometimes literally. Other times figuratively.
  • Small-minded folk may want to see you fail out of envy or out of shame around their own lack of success, etc. [not “true friends”, in my book, but make your own choices there]
• You’ll discover platforms or technology you’ve invested in aren’t working as expected or not working at all for the intended purposes that had you invest in them in the first place
• Distractions in your own life 

If you are to bring your IDEA into the world; if you are to manifest your vision as a reality “in the firmament”, as they say; if you are to bring it from an IDEA to concrete reality, you must let nothing stand in your way. That does not mean to run them over or blast through them—your actions and the way in which you overcome them still must be ecological in this sense ::: they must be “good” in Self, Other and Community, and for the World/Nature. However, you must go over, around, under, and as a last resort, through the obstacles to achieve your goals.

The most important obstacles are distractions. These are entirely under your control. They are the function of a mind that lacks discipline. They include but are certainly not limited to :::

• People [friends, romance, etc.]
• Experiences and desires for experiences
• “Opportunities” that seem like a good idea, but aren't

I could go on and on about how these things can, do, and might distract you, but really there is a solution that covers the bases :::

Whatever you choose to do, make sure it is in alignment with your vision; make sure it serves. Be it a relationship, a lover, a partner in business, collaboration, a financial opportunity, or a new business venture.

Say no to the rest so you can say yes to the best. AND in this case, the “best” means your own, personal vision for what you want to bring into the world.  For your future. You’re your own achievement and satisfaction. For the fulfillment that comes from contributing to the world in a positive way.

For the Good. For the True. And for the Beautiful.

I understand—and have experienced personally—that means you will make tough choices. You will have to say no to very compelling experiences. AND it is critical to your success.

You must have the will to carry it through to success—or to a dignified, rational end—as the only viable option. The only acceptable outcome.

That does not mean to be pig-headed when you are wrong or you are headed down the wrong path or run up against an obstacle. Quite the contrary; it means adjusting with flexibility, fluidity, to new information conditions in service of the outcome. It means having a fixed outcome, but a variable, flexible approach. You may know what you will bring into existence, but the how may have to adjust.

That also means constantly integrating feedback—no matter how harsh it may be or how neutral or how numerical—or frankly, how personal. Some people will attack you personally. Trust me. Ad hominem attacks are all too common. 

You will endure.

Eye on the prize. AND by “prize”, I mean bringing your good and beautiful gifts to the world in a way that serves the good of all. That is true for most. And is personally fulfilling for you.

Part 1 can be found HERE.   Part 3 Can be found HERE.

Part II ::: Action

We covered the first variable in your equation for success ::: thoughts. And the third ::: Will.

 In this post we will cover the 2nd variable in your equation for success ::: Action.

Deliberate. Consistent. Action.

Many talk about the need to take “massive action”.  While this is useful, I disagree.  AND I disagree not because that approach is ineffective, but rather because it is harmful to the system ::: it is un-ecological.

Taking massive action can burn one out and then they must stop and take a breather. Then they go into massive action again. And they get burned out. And so it goes, the cycle infinite, ad nauseum. There is a fundamental lack of balance. Over time, this will lead to resistance to projects, significant health issues—a lack of lack of healthy being-ness with families, spouses, children, life partners, and lovers, who are lacking engagement from you—feeling a love deficit.

AND at worst, addictions—be they food or drugs or alcohol or relationships—so that people can detach and become disembodied.  So they can stop feeling how bad this approach feels in their body.

While those who advocate this approach are coming from a positive place, to be sure, I have only 1 question ::: “do we want to be advocating an approach that leads to the above pathologies?

Of course not.

This lack of balance and consistency pervades our culture to no good end—long term.

However, there is a more whole-istic [taking your whole system into account with a long term view added as an additional dimension] way of approaching action…

Think of your business—and your action around your business—like an extension of your body. Would you go to the gym for the first time and automatically try to spend 2 hours on the stair master? Of course not. Would you go to the gym for the first time ever and expect to bench press 300 pounds? Of course not. Even if you were actually able, somehow, to physically complete those “goals” you would be so wiped out the following day—and so sore—that you may or may not return.

Business acquisition  is the same way. Go easy at first. Pace yourself. Make sure you stretch and prepare. Make sure you go push yourself a little bit.  However, go to the gym almost every day.

I cannot count the times I was in action. Consistent. Deliberate. Action.  And business came from somewhere completely out of the blue and seemingly entirely unrelated to the activity I was engaged in around business or the leads I was following up on.

 Say, returning calls. Or writing an article to demonstrate your competence. Writing a talk that you could give at the local small business association or trade conference, or what have you. Email a resource to a client you had stumbled upon that will be valuable to them given what you know about them and their particular needs—and heck, just calling your clients on a non-business call for 10 or so minutes to see how they are in general. 

Consistently. Deliberately. Persistently. Continuously. Ever-expanding-ly.

Not only will your neurology—your nervous system and your egoic and emotional structures—expand to include all of that; to appropriately embrace your experience. To expand your embrace of all that is and is arising. Including your business. Your wealth. Your “successes” and your  “failures”.  Whatever is arising moment to moment. Even now.

 And of course, the “spooky” thing is that often, just having your attention and intentionality on your business produces results often from “out of nowhere”.  As if you are applying the basic principles of the Law of Attraction, you will also see opportunities that you would not have noticed before. And opportunities will come to you as you put out the energy into the world.

Whether you succeed or fail is almost irrelevant. I say almost, because we want the general direction to be upwards—the general trend of you meeting or exceeding your self-declared targets to be...up.

However, even more important that tactical success is strategic learning. I say “more important” as the latter will serve the former in ways you can only begin to imagine…even now. I would rather have your attention on the learnings—even when you “succeed” than on whether your are “succeeding” or “failing”

And while most of this article has been focused on the Self, there is another aspect that can be the crux of your success or failure ::: and it is included as an essential aspect of your action. What is this element? It is your skill acquisition and your learning acquisition—your heard earned and well-paid-for lessons in business—in how to inspire others toward a vision.

 As important as maintaining deliberate action toward your vision--perhaps even more important--is your ability to inspire a team, a spouse, a business partner to maintain their own deliberate action in service of the ultimate goal or realization.

We will discuss this at length in future writings. For now, McClain, out.

Wishing you Health, Success, and Fulfillment,

Jason The McClain

One of the main challenges that small business people face—particularly solo practitioners or “solo-preneurs” in general--is the problem and the art of motivating oneself.

You are your own boss. If you have employees, then the game may be a little different for you as you have people depending on you.  However, if it is just you, there are often no external forces telling you that you must do any particular “thing”.  There are certainly exceptions to this—client deliverables, purchases that have been made, the general inertia of your business pulling you along at some point, but really, especially at first, it is an uphill battle for many on their own.

There are so many aspects to this problem of motivation that some never figure it out—or worse, they find solutions that compound the problem in the long-term because the “solutions” are ill-suited approaches. Ill-suited to them as individuals.

To really add fuel to the fire [or baking soda to the lack thereof] we have distractions, overwhelm, time management, prioritization, and the list goes on, and on, and on.

What works for one person in terms of motivation may or may not—and often does not—work for another. So it is with time management, goals, and the like. There is no one-size-fits-all or even a one-size-fits-most solution. Particularly for those who are more sensitive both emotionally and kinesthetically/energetically, many of the “take massive action” or “get present to the consequences if you do not” approaches create more internal dissonance, and if the tasks or milestones the individual is accountable for are not accomplished, this can lead to a build-up of that same internal dissonance, or worse, feelings of guilt or worse still, even shame, and with the principle of compound interest on the “debt” you have with yourself…well, we can see where it may and often does lead: overwhelm rather than accomplishment.

Even if it does not lead there for you, these levels of intense urgent styles of motivational techniques can cause a lack of balance at best, and at worst, hardcore burnout.

What is the solution? Custom design your own motivational strategy using a few basic principles and approaches.

Step 1: Discover Your Style

Find out what works for you at a base level. Since at least Aristotle was writing in the  300s B.C. we have known that humans are generally motivated in two basic ways or “directions” ::: away from pain or toward pleasure. Or both.

Stated in the context of goals and deliverables: away from consequences or toward a vision.

You will notice one creates leverage [and often contraction and internal dissonance] in your body—it pushes you. Compels you. Often uncomfortably. The other pulls you forward. It is expansive. It opens you and draws you toward it.

The danger is to judge one or the other. Urgency/away from/consequence driven motivation could be “bad” because it creates tension and dissonance. Vision is “good” because it is expansive. Or the reverse; vision/toward is “bad” because it does not create massive intense action, necessarily. Urgency/away from is “good” because it creates more instant [in some] results.

An additional component is style is how you like to be supported. 

This is also a critical component. While I am not an "accountability coach" per se, and never have been, quite often, clients ask me to support them in getting stuff done. Before I even begin such an aspect of our relationship, and since I can assume almost any style of coaching to serve them at this point, I ask them ::: how do you like to be supported.

No this before asking for external help--or be prepared to explore that inquiry with your friend, guide, coach, or accountability partner.

The truth is, whichever style works for you, as you become more aware, even now, at how you have created results in the past for yourself—when you found yourself simply motivated to accomplish what you wanted to accomplish—is the “good” style for you.

If an “away from” strategy works best for you, then create externally supported consequences to propel you forward. Engage a coach professionally, who coaches in that style. Or have a friend be your accountability partner—and someone willing to enforce uncomfortable consequences for/on you.

If this kind of approach has you feel overwhelmed, or has you feel like running from your entire support system [missing phone calls, not emailing them when you said you would, unaccomplished tasks building up, etc.], then consider the other approach: an approach that has you moving toward a larger vision. Toward a future you are creating. An approach that has you stay constantly present to the deeper meaning in the work you are doing; what your purpose of mission is, so you stay in the game. Plainly put ::: remember why you are committed to doing what you are supposed to do, in the grand scheme of things.  

As an example: you’re not simply “having a client session”. You are doing far more than that—you are helping someone have the life they have always dreamed of. And even greater or larger, you are contributing to the evolution of humanity itself—to a global vision of the Greater Good.

Mission. Vision. Life Purpose.

Whatever your style, be sure you use the one that best suits your sensibilities and produces the results for you, in your life, that you want produced.

Step 2: Make Your Tasks Bite-Sized.

“How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.” –Anonymous

It is not an "event" is an unfolding process.

Make sure your expectations are realistic, and that your goals and outcomes are in stages, and a palatable size. Often, people set these wild expectations for themselves or they have their goal of “building a business” be a one-step process, rather than what it is: a natural process of growth we see all around us.

First, we crawl. Then we walk. Then we run.

You would not expect to go to the gym for the very first time and lift 300 pounds would you? Of course not. You would go, do a little to stretch yourself—just get a little sore—and then do a little more until you are at the level—eventually—you want to be at.

Nothing happens in one step.

And make sure the chunks are an appropriate size for your sensibilities—again, not someone else’s no matter how much of a “motivational guru” they are.

Allow me to give you a personal example. Nearly a decade ago now, I used to make 200 cold calls a day. However, I did not last long when I tried to declare or commit to making that many phone calls. Too large of a chunk.  So I tried blocks of 50. It was still daunting. Eventually, I got down to committing to simply doing blocks of 10. That was easy. In fact, it was so easy, I did another 10. And another. This little psychological game I played with myself made it easier and easier to consistently accomplish 200 calls a day.

Make sure your level of expectations (your workload, your milestones, and even your to-do list if you use one) are all designed to maintain balance, while consistently building and growing.

Slow, sustainable, constant growth and expansion is always preferable to short-term, over-the-top goals, as that is the sustainable, and more ecological [both emotionally and systemically] approach.

I will suggest one thing : make sure you always accomplish the most important or most pressing single task for that day. Just pick one. You know which one it is. If you want to do more, great. But commit to doing that one thing you know needs to be done today. If that “one thing” is too large a task, break it down into sub-tasks, and eat that elephant one bite at a time.

In sum, there are three major steps to “motivating” yourself.

1. Discover The Style or “direction” that works for you. Are you motivated toward something larger or toward a vision? Or are you more motivated with consequences and pain?
2. Set up systems and structures to support your style of motivation. Whether that is through a colleague, friend, professional, or with yourself is irrelevant until you learn what best works for you--both in terms of style and in terms of actual structures.
3. Make sure your goals or milestones or “stuff” you wanna get done is not only realistic, but is also in the appropriate “chunk size” so you do not undercut or undermine the first two steps. And relax—you can always increase chunk size or workload as you gain momentum and a sense of accomplishment.

Test. Adjust. Test again. Find out what work. Build on your successes. Harvest the lessons when you miss your target. Build upon that as well. Often, those lessons are even more valuable than accomplishing what you set out to do.

If you know where and how to examine the failures they are always more valuable than the successes and will lead to exponential success in the long run.

Have fun with it. Remember, it is your life. You get to live it as you choose.

In Service,

Jason The McClain

Thoughts + Action + Will = Your Dream or Vision Becoming a Reality

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There is much discussion about what it takes to be successful—and what it takes to be an entrepreneur. What it takes to succeed at owning your own business. Or stated differently, what it takes to “manifest” your vision in the world.

And while many people try to emulate personalities, rather than systems—which is a sure-fire way to fail—and there are certainly tangible, unique characteristics that have a Steve Jobs or a Barak Obama, or a _________________  succeed, there are those that want to sum it up to “luck” or “chance” or “connections”. Or “timing”. Or, “that is just them”.

While there is a certain amount of all of those that will aid one in bringing their vision into the world—they only help.

Even without those additional “helpers” we have a huge amount of latitude and control over the degree of our success—and even whether we succeed—or not; and to what degree. And often the successful management of the following aspects can assist those helpers in appearing and happening as if by “magic”. 

There are three components or ingredients to having your vision become a reality

1. Thoughts  2. Action  3. Will [The Will to Carry It Through]

Thoughts 

So many people reduce this to the Law of Attraction only, and worse, want to have you believe you have already earned your success somehow—before you have actually produced anything or taken any action. Essentially before you have produced anything of value to others in the world.

I reject that wholeheartedly.

While the Law of Attraction is critical—and demystifying it equally so—so that you understand not only that it does work, but also why and how—it is not the only way to manage your mind that is critical. There are others seldom talked about.

Because I cover this at length in my Outcome Inevitability audio and I provide my clients and those who are members on the coaches site have access to—and also on the free Evolutionary Sales podcasts on iTunes—and others have done so as well…

Because of that, we will leave that in this writing and go to the meatier subjects :::

Thoughts: The inspired IDEA

You must have an idea. It does not have to be original. However, it must be at the right place in the “curve”. In other words, it has to either be a proven business model but not yet saturated in the market—or it can be new, but the technology and the market must be there to support the idea. AND it must not be on the sloping end of the curve—an idea that is making a lot of money now, but whose course has nearly run out or is about to end.

One of the greatest skills an entrepreneur must have is the ability to accurately perceive where the market is headed. There is no replacement for this skill. It means the difference between great success, failure, or middling success—and likewise great profits, or great losses. And while an entrepreneur knows that “failures” can be the sharpest learning opportunities, they can be costly, and well, let’s face it—less fun 

Thoughts: Deeper Meaning | Purpose

Additionally you must be able to tie it to deeper meaning. You’re not just creating a cool product or service—you are improving the lives of others—and ultimately making the world a better place somehow. You are serving humanity itself in some deep, meaningful way. Even with a small piece of software. Or a coaching offering. Or a new convenience appliance.

This will be your inspiration when you need to create or inspire others assisting you in making your vision a reality—and it will be your life preserver in the rough seas, should they come.

Remember it. Say it to yourself. Keep it in your mind’s eye. Feel it fully.

 Thoughts: Your Beliefs About What is Possible

Do you believe your success and the success of the venture is inevitable? You may need to adjust, sure, but keeping vigilance over your thoughts about success and possibility. The most powerful way to do that, that I suggest to all of my clients at some point is to discard the binary thinking; the either/or thinking ::: the question is not “will I succeed or not”, or “will this endeavor be successful or not”, the question is  ::: how? How will we make it successful? Or “what will it take”.

The very question itself provides a solution--if answered.

Even while reframing the disempowering questions, simply watch out for your self-talk or internal dialogue. Not necessarily to change the thoughts—although that is powerful—but additionally to notice those parts of you that may have valid concerns.

Some of them will be rational, valid concerns. Others—not so much. It is the irrational thoughts—the thoughts that are negative about the future with no real basis in reality or your personal history, that we want to reframe. The rational doubts should be addressed and honored—while still keeping your eye on the prize so-to-speak.

Thoughts: Your Belief In Your Worthiness

This aspect of your internal thoughts and beliefs is perhaps the most important underlying psychological factor. Do you feel you deserve to be successful? That you are good enough to begin the business, and be successful at it—and to reap its rewards?  This aspect of esteem for yourself—very different from whether you feel you can do it, are effective enough to do it, have the skills to do it—but do you deserve it. is your self worth such that it can contain the hundreds of thousands if not millions of dollars you may make from it.

If not, self-sabotage may be lurking.

Often I have clients who are playing a “big game”. They want to solve global problems. They want to serve humanity. AND they say to themselves, “who am I to XYZ.” I ask them who are they NOT to. Who are they to keep their gift from the world.

While that is a nifty little shortcut, the doubt about whether you are “good enough”—or the certainty you are—or whether you deserve it or not—will mean the difference between your success being inevitable, or self—sabotage on the other end of the spectrum.

And on that note, there is simply no replacement for healthy esteem for the self.

In the following weeks, we will cover the other two components in your success equation ::: Action and Will.

In Service,

 Jason The McClain-Ness

Part 2 can be found HERE. Part 3 Can be found HERE.

Self-Esteem Matrix

[Validation (V) ::: Worth | Referencing (R) ::: Efficacy]
Internal and external locus

If we combine Dr Nathaniel’s definition of self-esteem—that is that self-esteem has two integral and inseparable—yet equally important and parallel—components:

• Self-efficacy [knowledge of our effectiveness/our value/guilt]
• Self-respect [Making choices appropriate to life/self-worth/shame

…with another multi-dimensional idea ::: that the “high self-esteem” and “low self-esteem” binary representation is inadequate to accurately explain some behaviors and behavioral choices, and we look at where the individual’s attention is, then we begin to create a richer and deeper—and therefore more accurate signifier—a more accurate representation of esteem for the self.

I prefer that phrase, that is: esteem for the self, to the more common phrase “self-esteem” for two reasons:

1. The phrase/word “self-esteem” is one of the most misunderstood and overused phrases in American pop psychology. And,
2. The phrase Esteem for the Self refocuses our attention where it should be; our opinion of the “me” in our self-concept.

 The sad part is that what most of the “experts” in academia call “self-esteem” is simply not self-esteem, but rather “other-esteem”. This can border on the absurd when supposed experts call for an end to competition. Or, an end to grades in school.

Given that our esteem for the self is our immune system for life, it must be tested, so it can grow, respond, and develop the metaphoric antibodies to the hardships of life. While I am far from competitive, I am glad it existed in my upbringing. Grades. Martial Arts training, science contests, spelling bees, etc.

Anyway … to bring a richer texture to the conversation … in the above figure we have 4 basic locations or orientations to esteem for the self. Internal / external and validation / referencing.

Below are some relatively raw notes on the quadrants above, but more importantly, below that is a table that lays out some of the misconceptions about what it means to have true esteem for the self. For those of you who know me to be a proponent of stage conceptions, this is not in conflict with an egoic stage conception, but it would overly complicate the conversation for mass consumption to add another dimension in this writing.

If you are curious about how this quadrant-based model would interact with a stage conception for egoic development, shoot me an email … ok:

With no further ado:

UPPER LEFT ::: If someone is Internally validated [VI] and they are externally referenced [RE] then we have the ideal situation; someone who is internally validated, and therefore “immune” at a core level from the opinions of others—yet also externally referenced, meaning they care about gathering feedback from the outside world and from others—so they can continually become more effective, and—if need be—adjust their behaviors. This quadrant is the healthiest of the quadrants. Those grounded in this quadrant will be happiest, more at ease with themselves, interact more effectively with others, and produce better results in the real world.

UPPER RIGHT ::: Internally validated and internally referenced. Not ideal. They truly do not care about the opinions of feelings of others—and do not need them, but simultaneously they do not notice their impact or care about their impact. You could call this person the empowered idiot. Unaware entirely.

LOWER LEFT ::: Externally validated and externally referenced. This person is constantly contorting themselves to whomever is around them, based on subtle or gross cues, but they are also dependent on the opinion of others to feel good about themselves. They try to be everything for and to everybody. I jokingly refer to this quadrant as “hell”. They will never feel good about themselves as they are never in touch with themselves—and do not even know who they are—and their feelings will shift like the wind upon the whims or preferences of others.

LOWER RIGHT ::: Externally validated but internally referenced. This person is desperate for people’s attention, their validation and praise, yet is inner-focused and not able to adjust to cues. Imagine them seeking approval, and constantly bumping into walls and people all the time. Desperate for approval. Never quite able to do the right thing to get it. Let's call this quadrant "purgatory".

Heh.

Until next time ...

In Warmth and In Service ...

jason.the.mcclain™

We have been sold a bill of goods around ego. One that creates internal division and conflict. One that creates internal dissonance. One that creates pain. One that, at its worst, can foster a certain degree of self-hatred. A dis-ownership of the self. A bill of goods that is 2,500 years old in terms of its story around ego, the nature of ego, and the "problem" of ego.

And there is a better way. One that can create the same intended result with a kinder, gentler more self-accepting approach that can accelerate the evolution of the ego through the radical acceptance of expanding the ego, rather than attempting the psychological and spiritual suicide of ego annihilation. 

You can also see some similar themes around ego in the business context, read this article:  Self-Esteem and the Solo-Preneur | Internal vs. External Locus of Responsibility for an even deeper cut, taken from an email I sent a client a couple years ago, read Your Self-Worth is a Settled Matter.

Ok...ready? ::: Heh.

A quote from Ken Wilber I posted spawned an in-depth, yet brief—discussion on the nature and evolution of ego, Spiral Dynamics, the Integral community, and related topics, including the difference between cognitive development and actual development ::: the difference being understanding vs emotional response and being, or stated differently ::: one’s “center of gravity”.

The style is conversational, as it was an actual conversation.

Below are excerpted comments in the thread that followed. The order of some of the comments have been changed for continuity of the discussion, and for flow. Some have been deleted for the sake of relevance. If you want to see the full, unedited thread for yourself, you can see that HERE. The edited and streamlined version is below for your reading enjoyment.

The quote that started it all :::

“The ego is not a thing but a subtle effort, and you cannot use effort to get rid of effort--you end up with two efforts instead of one. The ego itself is a perfect manifestation of the Divine, and it is best handled by resting in Freedom, not by trying to get rid of ego, which simply increases the effort of ego itself.” --Ken Wilber 

Of course, I cannot speak for Ken Wilber—nor will I attempt to.

Simultaneously, I have read and listened to most of his stuff. As a result, I can certainly imagine—to varying degrees of accuracy—what he is speaking to, so I will attempt to translate him.

AND this will be based on my own experience after 19 years of conscious work, clearing, and self-examination and evolution—AND based on my work with over 200 clients one-on-one in my Personal Evolution Program, which lasted [when I used to do that work]  about 7 months--designed to accelerate the evolution of their ego ::: to widen their embrace. To increase their ease. To reduce their fear. To eliminate most of their anger. To increase their esteem for the Self.

So I may be and will be projecting/hallucinating…and it will be accurate—to varying degrees. Your mileage may vary.

So…what is “ego”? Most in popular spiritual and psychological circles will say we must transcend our ego, or worse ::: “annihilate it”. Is this healthy? Is this ecological? Does it suit the ecology of the environment we exist in?

The ecology of the self?

Is “ego what motivates us” as Pi asserts? Perhaps sometimes, yes. perhaps always—sure.

And the question for me becomes, motivates HOW? From what stage? Because, you see, we will be motivated differently from different stages, for different reasons.

For me, ego is essentially the seat of our consciousness. Where it rests and comes from. Not its Source. Its Source is the very kosmos ::: consciousness with a capital C. 

James Reidy suggested as a definition :::

Ego: n. a person's conscious and unconscious beliefs about their own identity. 

To which I responded ::: think of it as a prism through which Spirit is shining. A prism the light of God Consciousness shines through [and is skewed to varying degrees]. To the degree the stuff you are talking about is clear and or conscious is the degree to which it is god/dess, spirit, the very cosmos. I would say the stuff you are talking about is the dirt on the glass. 

Which is what I think Ken Wilber means when he says:

“The ego itself is a perfect manifestation of the Divine."

Everything is a perfect manifestation of the divine. That is the essence of non-dual reality. AND of course, even duality is held within non-duality. It must be. Spirit does not judge. We do.

And if we are careful to incorporate stages, the ever-increasing, ever-widening waves and stages and levels that one passes through, plateaus at, regresses and contracts to on occasion—where our emotional reactions come from and where our interpretations are filtered through—whether we use Kolberg, Gilligan, or Gravesian models to determine our “stage” ego can not be transcended.

It cannot be annihilated—with one exception. Blowing your brains will do it.

Death will do it.

And this is the problem I have with most “gurus” is they set up a massive internal conflict or increase internal dissonance/discordance with their idea about annihilating the ego. Their 2-dimensional, either/or relationship to ego. Which is what I think Ken Wilber is pointing to when he says :::

“The ego is not a thing but a subtle effort, and you cannot use effort to get rid of effort--you end up with two efforts instead of one."

AND it is only their ego that wants you to annihilate yours—to submit to them.

However, we can get the same intended results of openness, expansiveness, acceptance, with a more ecological and holistic understanding of ego. And with that understanding, what we CAN do is evolve it. Expand it. Have it occur as more diffuse. So wide and so diffuse it needs no protection. It needs no assertion. It has nothing to prove.

It will occur like a transcendent ego. It will look like “ego-less-ness”. What it actually looks like it the ever-expanding upward spiral. AN unfolding. A larger embrace.

Let me ask you what kind of ego can be “one with all things that are arising…moment to moment…even now”? I’ll tell you what kind of ego—a huge fucking ego. A wide and high ego. A diffuse ego. An ego so large that feedback or other’s attacks are accepted and absorbed into it like a still lake. it is also a subtle ego.

Unfortunately we are used to seeing very loud, pre-rational egos, and calling that “ego”. Yet it is an underdeveloped, uncertain ego than needs to be a gross [vs subtle], hard, reactive, ego. A defensive ego. Not a huge, well developed ego. A large, expanded ego is subtle and diffuse.

Simultaneously, their presence can be very powerful. When they look at you, their gaze often sees deeper into you than you have into yourself, which can be very uncomfortable for some. For others, habit forming.

Wilber again: "…and it is best handled by resting in Freedom, not by trying to get rid of ego"

AND as I am fond of saying ::: the biggest ego trip in the kosmos is thinking you can or will ever “transcend” your ego.

However, we can expand it, evolve it, and have it so developed and so diffuse that it occurs “transcendent” for most people—because there is little resistance. There is so much confidence that you do not need to prove yourself—even to yourself. It allows you to more easily look in the mirror. To accept where you are wrong and have wronged.

There is a true freedom there. The freedom that Wilber speaks to, I believe. And resting there…is fun in the quiet joy kind of way.

Derek Arckis said :::

Another example is: 'Awareness alone is curative'. Yes, this works well as well, if you don't have to come back into the world (Samara) and socially function via emotions and affect response / motive (seat of ego). Not so subtle if you ask me. Awareness of the great intensity of feeling through the burning off of karma is much more realistic and painful, yet truly evolutionary, rather than blowing (ungrounded) in the high winds of a brightly lit day (merely enlightenment). 

But who wants to bypass the quick and dirty and do the actual work to truly evolve (in the egoic sense, rather than mere cognitive experience)?

Exactly … AND what it takes to get there—is work. Being vigilant in our awareness. The subtleties of our awareness. Subtle effort. And in that, is freedom. When re-relax into the Witness—our ever-present awareness—we are there in the atmosphere of enlightenment.

I understand this turns the popular idea of ego on its head. I get that. I also get that Wilber and Cohen [not Cowan] have both talked about this in passing—briefly. At least the idea that it is a big ego that is an enlightened ego—and the obviousness of the stages in all of their work.

Why they still talk about it in two-dimensional terms I am uncertain of. I have one major guess ::: They are speaking into the existent memes and tapping those associations, rather than attempting to undertake the effort to recode and reframe over 2,500 years of entrenched traditions.

Given they are some of the very few who understand this, that is my guess.

AND who knows?

They do. He does. Some part of you does … even now.

[Note to the reader: "God" is used throughout as a signifier to point to wherever you put your worship. It could be conventional religions as I will mainly address, but you could just as easily replace it with Gaia if you "put your worship" there--if the environment is your ultimate concern. or you could replace it with polytheistic beliefs such as Hinduism. Or maybe you put your worship in the Universe, consciousness, or Community. Consider that whatever your ultimate concern is, the concepts in this article can apply to that thing as "God" for you. Doing this will allow you to get the most from this article. -Jason D McClain]

Is Your Relationship to God Wrecking Your Relationship With God?

It’s a provocative question, isn’t it?

Why even ask it? It is fraught with predicable emotional triggers and will produce reactions that may blur the importance and the point of the topic at hand.

We could use your relationship to your "self" or your relationship to others or even your relationship to money. The fact remains that we could use any of those concepts--any of those signifiers--to get to what we are pointing at and we will use a couple of them as lead-in examples because of their familiarity--but it would not be as effective to stop there for our larger conversation; not as effective as getting to the very root of our relationship to and with our deepest and highest stages. But even more to the practical: we will use God for the simple fact that there is no concept or question more galvanizing—making us sit up in our chair and pay attention--than questioning our very relationship to and with the Divine.

So we use “God”.

Before we begin to explore the question, we need to lay the ground on which we will stand: stages of egoic and emotional development. Stages that we interpret the world through and react emotionally from.  Stages through which we will interpret every aspect of our lives--events occurring around us, the actions of others as they relate to us, the world we navigate through politically, economically, romantically, and, yes, our spirituality and the nature of the Divine.

So if we are to examine our relationship to God (or “the Divine) then we must begin with an understanding of the lens we gaze through.

"God is like a mirror. The mirror never changes, but everybody who looks at it sees something different."  --Rabbi Harold Kushner

From pre-personal to personal to trans-personal. From vengeance to justice to grace. From pre-rational to rational to trans-rational. From ego-centric to enthno-centric or gender-centric or nationalistic to world-centric. From unconscious to conscious to super-conscious. These are just some of the ways we can label the grossest stages of development of the Self—and they are stages of increasing wholeness and increasing embrace. Each stage transcends, yet also include the benefits of the former. Each is noted for its increase in capacities and increase in the ability to hold an ever-increasing number of perspectives. We could also think about these stages as an expansion of what an individual can identify with or as. From ego-centric to ethno-centric / gender-centric / nationalistic to world-centric; identifying as just an individual to identifying as a member of a community or collective of individuals to identifying as a member of a global community—a citizen of the planet and a member of its ecosystem. Plainly put: our stage of self-development will determine our world-view—and that world-view will evolve over time. And that evolution will have a directionality.

Human development can be divided into three major phases: pre-conventional, conventional and post-conventional, or pre-personal, personal and transpersonal (Wilber, et.al., 1986). This applies to the development of cognition, morality, faith, motivation and the selfsense. The infant enters the world unsocialized, at a pre-conventional stage, and is gradually acculturated into a conventional world-view, whether it be religious or secular. A few individuals develop further into post-conventional stages of post-formal operational cognition (Pfaffenberger, et.al., 2009), post-conventional morality (Sinnott, 1994;), universalizing faith (Fowler, 1995), self-actualizing and self-transcending motives (Maslow, 1971), and a transpersonal self-sense (Cook-Greuter, 1994; Wilber, 1980, 1983, 20001).

-Frances Vaughn, Journal of Transpersonal Research, 2010

We could say that one of the primary practices (as well as one of the primary indicators of personal evolution) is the ability to take on an ever-increasing number of perspectives; the ability to understand—even if not agreeing with—an ever-increasing number of perspectives or “views” of or “from” a given place.

And that lens—or lenses—is the filter through which we view the world as well as being the platform we will likely react from. This is not a box we can put ourselves or others in. It is not a classification as rigid as a “type”. Think of it more as a probability: a weather forecast, or a general orientation within high odds. Think of it more as a lump or a wave. But even still, the fact that we will likely interpret through and react from our “stage” of development of the “self” is hard-wired as a probability can get.

And, the endeavor we call “personal evolution” is the process of activating movement and moving through those stages.

Why is this important?

In the process of personal evolution we have both the mechanisms to create, and the path to enjoy, true peace within--and to reduce conflict without. An ever-expanding ability to hold an ever-increasing number of perspectives leads to a life that experiences greater ease, reduced fear and reduced anger, greater empathetic capacities, increased self-acceptance, increased capacities to handle whatever life may throw at you—and respond more resourcefully, and ultimately, leads to an aligned, purpose-filled and full-filled life.

As within, so without.

In recent history, it has become commonplace in personal development circles and communities for us to realize that our relationship to ourselves is very important—it is an accepted fact that it will determine a great deal of our experience materially, inter-personally, and emotionally. It may be thought of as self-concept, or self-esteem and self-acceptance, self-care, and self-love. This shows up in particularly high-relief/ particularly sharp in contrast in work with relationships where it is clear to more and more people (whether we like it or not) that our relationship with our self will determine our relationship dynamics with others: how well do we honor boundaries both for ourselves and for others? Do we feel we deserve to be happy and deserve to have a relationship in which we are treated well—with kindness and respect and love? How easily and openly do we communicate?

In essense: the degree of health we enjoy in our relationship with ourselves (and to our “self”) will have a great deal of influence on the degree of heath an vitality we enjoy in relationships with others—and life in general.

We can usually boil it down to the essence of: “you can’t have a loving relationship with another if you don’t love yourself”. There is more granularity more recently in some of the distinctions applied by the Integral community using the stages we laid out at the beginning of this writing applied to relationships; what are the qualities and characteristics of a “Stage 2 relationship, a “Stage 3 relationship” and so on.

This is relevant for precisely the reason that for many of us, our relationship to the Divine may be the most important relationship of all.

Which brings us to the question posed in the title of this article: “is our relationship to God wrecking our relationship with God?

It is an existential spiritual question. The very nature of how we experience Divinity is at stake. Examining this question will not only allow us to see where we limit ourselves spiritually, but also give us access to improving our state of health and vitality in the spiritual domain—determining to what degree we can shine the Light in the world in a way that transcends religion, allowing us to achieve our highest spiritual ambitions. In essence to become the highest within us—to emulate and embody more consistently our most precious qualities, characteristics, and spiritual ideals of universal love, compassion, and acceptance as taught by all of the world’s great spiritual traditions; to close the gap between who we are and who we strive to emulate and … to be.

If we are to realize our highest spiritual potentiality, our relationship to God is something that not only can and will be examined in the process, but must be examined.

As above, so below.

“God” is simultaneously personal and public, internal and external, and it is one of the hottest potatoes to throw around these days. Not just because for a growing number of people, belief in a God has fallen out of fashion—that would be the easiest hurdle to clear—but even worse, we have the full spectrum of religious beliefs on parade from Christian fundamentalists to radical Islam. “Spiritual but not religious” is a categorization that over 20% of the population in America now identifies as—and it is a category that is growing amongst the younger generations with 30% of the people under 30 years of age identifying themselves in this way.

The “problem” of religion has never been more obvious., Even those who are among the same mono-theistic traditions are in vigorous disagreement about the "true interpretation" of their sacred texts, how to worship, and who should be allowed within the flock (or not allowed within the flock as the case more often occurs).

What is true for one group—or one individual—is seldom true for another.

And that is before we even get to the discussion of the mytho-poetic themes of the world’s great religious traditions; was Jesus really born of the Virgin Mary? Was Lao Tzu really born as a 900 year-old man? Is the earth really resting on the head of a giant serpent (or the shell of a giant tortoise)? And of course, the subject of great debate most recently it seems: is the Earth really only 6,000 years old? Are these facts—with belief in them required to enter into the afterlife? Or are they gorgeous and useful poetic metaphors pointing to a greater truth in a way that people at the time could accept, pointing to Divine power.

But the real question to ask is: does any of that really matter? Should it?

A large enough number of people take the sacred texts literally that they must be honored in the conversation. Still others—and an ever-increasing number—do not, and look more to the teachings and the higher principles at play, shedding more and more of the convention, the traditions and, yes, the dogma. We do so because we are moving in a direction that we all do in our lives, and as groups in general—a direction of increasing wholeness, and ever-increasing embrace and acceptance of ourselves—and differences we have with others.

And there are some who are looking beyond the differences the great spiritual traditions have to the universals truths that they all share.

We really only have two choices when we are faced with facts that do not fit our belief structures, and this is most glaring when it comes to religious beliefs.. We can either expand our beliefs to include the facts on the ground, or we can dig in and regress and become more insular, ejecting the facts and reinforcing our belief structures.

This expansion is another way to point to the activity of personal evolution actually occurring. We could say the same about regression, truthfully, as it is included in the over-all process, even knowing that the direction we hope to move is one of expansion. But, the eventual expansion is what leads to peace, ease, increased capacities, and all the other goodies we get to experience, even if it comes as the result of moving through the death-throes, and for some, the process as we shed the limitations of our previous preciously-held beliefs is a painful process that can give some an experience that ranges from confusion for some to grief for others.

A process we will confront together in Part 2 of this piece.

You can find Part 2 » here « now.

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Be sure that you've read Part 1 » here «.

[Note to the reader: "God" is used throughout as a signifier to point to wherever you put your worship. It could be conventional religions as I will mainly address, but you could just as easily replace it with Gaia if you "put your worship" there--if the environment is your ultimate concern. or you could replace it with polytheistic beliefs such as Hinduism. Or maybe you put your worship in the Universe, consciousness, or Community. Consider that whatever your ultimate concern is, the concepts in this article can apply to that thing as "God" for you. Doing this will allow you to get the most from this article. -Jason D McClain]

As I asked in Part 1:

"...was Jesus really born of the Virgin Mary? Was Lao Tzu really born as a 900 year-old man? Is the earth really resting on the head of a giant serpent (or the shell of a giant tortoise)? And of course, the subject of great debate most recently it seems: is the Earth really only 6,000 years old? Are these facts—with belief in them required to enter into the afterlife? Or are they gorgeous and useful poetic metaphors pointing to a greater truth in a way that people at the time could accept, pointing to Divine power?"

These metaphors are a testament to belief in stunningly powerful, mystical, and magical forces embodied in "Spirit". Stories told to good common folk of those eras. Metpahors they could relate to. This was useful and good—in fact, it could have been no other way at the time. However, the vast majority that number themselves among the world’s religions have lost touch with this simple wisdom: that metaphors of their spiritual traditions do indeed hold tremendous aesthetic value and inspirational mytho-poetic beauty, however, they are not the Truths themselves.

Nor should they really matter when discussing spiritual merit. Would we say someone was not a good person if they acted with love, grace and charity all of their life, dedicated to the service of others, but rejected the idea of the Virgin Birth? Of course not.

Sadly, focusing on the details of the metaphoric stories as a basis for “faith” rather than the individual relationship with the Universal Truths results in losing access to Divinity and Spirit. Ending up, in turn, hopelessly (and endlessly) arguing over details of form and presentation-details of stories told long ago so that simple people could easily have access to God. These arguments aren’t just friendly disagreements or intellectual debates engaged in among scholars; they have split families and divided congregations--and sent nations to war on too many occasions for us to want to list here.

The fact that this is so, and that is springs from traditions that were and are meant to free the spirit, spread love and acceptance, and give hope to the hopeless, is no less than tragic.

So that we can attempt to avoid the same pitfalls, let us set aside what is “true” or “false” about these mytho-poetic themes and focus instead on the more personal and individual experience. This is what is relevant for our discussion that is focused on the context of personal evolution.

For that, we need to address not the truth, but the utility of our relationship to the Divine--"to" vs. "with." This “to vs with” business is not just fun with prepositions. It has a very practical impact on our internal life and emotional experience.

The manner in which we relate to anything determines its meaning and importance in our lives. Whether that thing is a significant other, a new career opportunity, a rainy day, traffic on the highway, and/or yes, even “God”. Perhaps we should even say In fact, especially God—not because that is accurate, but simply because of the impact that our personal relationship with God has on our real-life happiness.

Let’s take traffic.

We have all experienced traffic on a highway. How do you relate to it? What is your interpretation of it? Do you view it as a waste of time? A hassle? An increase in vehicular pollution? Or perhaps you see it as a welcome break and use it to unwind on your way home listening to relaxing music or an opportunity to listen to a favorite book on audio? The obvious point is that how you “hold” this experience we call “traffic” in your subjective world will give rise to a specific and tangible emotional experience around it, or what we will call an “atmosphere”.

 “It is never the thing it self, but rather your relationship to it”.

Knowing that, let’s take it out another level: it is not just how you relate “to” traffic that will determine your experience. While this is true, we could take one more step and realize that we are not just in traffic--if you are in your car in the middle of traffic, you are the traffic. You are at the very least a component part of it as a whole.

Think about that the next time you are cursing the traffic you are in.

You can see what we have done there, and you are likely already familiar with the importance of and the ability to “frame” your experience described in the above paragraphs. This is nothing new. Most of the wisdom traditions teach that how you interpret an event will determine your emotional experience around it—and with regular practice you can discipline your mind to interpret your experience in a way that leads you to have the emotional experience of life that you desire. Simple. Not easy, but simple.

And yet, when we get to the context of God—we go all whacky. As if it somehow no longer applies.

Just as we examined if your relationship to traffic serves you, we will examine the same of your relationship to God.

I was with a client and we chased the source of his "issue" to a particular construction he has of God—and God and spirituality is very important to him.

His particular construction of God—and one that many people hold as “true”—was that God was an external force or being that he was beholden and subservient to. The source of most of his suffering was that there was a great deal of shame if he did not live up to God’s expectations—or rather what he believed God’s expectations to be. Sadly, this created separation between himself and God.

In his experience, this relationship to God would in turn produce certain predicable results; a pattern emerged .He would engage in behaviors or thoughts (or not engage in them as was the case sometimes) and then as a result of his relationship to God, he would then retreat into the shadows—he would leave the light and attempt to hide away; hiding away from his responsibilities, playing the game of life at a much reduced level of vibrancy, and/or slipping occasionally into darker emotional episodes.

As we rigorously and fearlessly examined this in our session, we discovered that it was not his behaviors that created this negative experience—after all, he was not really engaged in any behavior that was truly wrong or bad; he was not harming anyone. Rather it was his holding God as something external to him and “above/having authority over him” that led to the experience. This ironically, in turn, had him operating out of communion with God; that is to say: his relationship to God was damaging his relationship with God. This, in turn, led to a great deal of unnecessary suffering for him.

The question became: what alternative ways of viewing and experiencing God could we construct for him that would honor the deepest truth of God as he understands him, that would also, in turn, predictably lead to a more joyous spiritual experience more consistently?

Moving from a relationship "to" God to a relationship "with" God

“Neither shall they say, Lo here! or, lo there! for, behold, the kingdom of God is within you.”
 –Luke 7:21

What if “God” were simply a force or light that flowed through you? Or “that which flows through you, which is greater than you?” Or God as a primary and fundamental animating spirit and force? “The light behind—and shining through—our eyes?” How would that framing, that relationship with God change our experience of life?

As quoted above, this idea is not inconsistent with the more mystical passages in both the Old and New Testaments in the Christian-Judeo religious traditions about the nature of God—and it is in alignment with the non-dual traditions of the East.

But again, even if it is in conflict for you, let’s leave the theological debate of ”true” to the theologians and remind ourselves that what matters is what could be true and is also useful.

For you and I who have to live and thrive in the manifest world——our greatest model of who we are to be when we are at our highest, deepest, and best,—the most joyous and inspirational experience possible while forever reaching towards the heavens within us … Perhaps the relationship to God that would most serve us is not one of separation, but rather one of being … One … with God.

For some, this is a radical idea; for others, it is blasphemy. Some understand this intellectually, but are struggling to achieve it fully—as a matter of not just knowing but being -- especially closing the gap between the two.

For still others—including the client I was working with when we experimented with these relationship dynamics in our session—it is a tremendous relief. It can be tremendously freeing to know that we are not beholden to God in subservient worship, but rather invited to become one with God in divine union.

I understand that for many, this is no simple endeavor. We have to shed the very idea of Original Sin and replace it with one of true and full self-acceptance--acceptance of our Universal Innocence. We have to believe, and then accept, that we are “good”. This does not mean that we will not make mistakes and engage in bad behaviors—or that we accept our behaviors that harm others without caring about how it impacts them. Quite the contrary; allowing acceptance allows us to more easily and more rapidly examine our faults.

However, what this also will allow for us a truly healthy relationship with God that will remove any obstacles to our Union with God, and leave only the light to shine on the shadows to chase them away—rather than leaving the shadows as a place for us to retreat into and hide away in shame. This will allow us to be the light.

As we return to where we began in Part 1—return to stages of egoic development—we can examine how stages of development apply in the context of this question of the Divine and our relationship to and with God. From pre-rational to rational to trans-rational; from pre-conventional to conventional to post-conventional.

From being in relationship to God to being in relationship with God to being in relationship … as God; from Union to Communion to ... Identification.

For many of us, that last stage will simply be too much to comprehend and may be beyond what we can allow ourselves to accept.

But what we can accept—and many of the wisdom traditions and religious teachings will remind us—is that humans will never be able to fully comprehend God. In saying so, we can also reason that the anthropomorphic or external authority-based attempts to give God form have had their uses—but also that God is not that. God is at least far more than that. And we have also demonstrated that those forms produce predicable results. Many of them less than optimal.

Knowing that, let us all turn inward and examine how we construct and hold God. Challenge its degree of health and vitality. Notice its predicable results. And in doing so, engage in the endeavor of living with a wider embrace of existence--a fuller, more vibrant expression of Spirit in the highest and deepest sense. In doing so, we will have access to, and be bathed in, the kind of spiritual meaning and fulfillment we all yearn for whether we believe in a "God" or "Goddess" or not. The kind of transcendent spirituality the world needs to heal fractured sectarianism and to appeal to those with more emergent stages of consciousness. A flavor of spirituality than can and will unite rather than divide.

Let us not stop at having a relationship to God in Divine Communion, but let us go further--delving into a relationship with God, allowing us to be not just a recipient or a servant, but more—allowing us to become a channel or a conduit so that we are not just living for some greater good, but that we are, in fact being that greater good--bearing the full and ripe fruits of Divine Union and allowing it to flow forth--through and from us all.

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Often I am asked just how what I do as an Evolutionary Guide -- assisting others in evolving how they relate to themselves and how they relate to events (ego and emotions) -- has any real practical applications particularly in business. It is a fair question. One that, to me, has an obvious answer: always, daily, in every context. But let me be specific:

What causes people to be less productive and to suffer emotionally and decide to give up on their dreams and desires—to simply not “go for it”? 

Many things, but some of the more salient points would be:

nt

1. Taking things personally

2. Extrapolating out negative futures from limited data

3. Focusing on the problem(s) rather than solutions

4. Staying on course for too long after they know they need to adjust because they are afraid to admit their mistakes

5. Self-doubt

6. Fear

7. A lack of efficacy in communication

8. … 

… the list could go on and on and on. 

Likewise, their opposites--which we could sum up as simply being free and moving with confidence, efficacy and velocity--are all sourced in the same place.

What do they all have in common? The degree to which we experience any of these things is determined by our “stage” of development, which in turn determines how we relate to ourselves and / or how we relate to the events around us. It’s the “place” we react from and interpret through. 

There is no more important “soft” skill that one can develop than their capacity to witness--the capacity to objectively examine a situation, an event, or a thing, or even themselves from outside of themselves which, in turn, is developing the capacity to dis-identify from any thing, situation, person, role, project, opinions …again, the list goes on. And therefore, there is no greater developmental endeavor one can engage in than personal evolution--increasing our capacity to not only witness, but to take on an ever-increasing number of perspectives. 

This will even translate to learning “hard” skills more easily because you can throw yourself into the endeavor with great fervor, and without all of the self-consciousness that stops so many people from trying new things. You will be inclined to take on greater responsibility, ask for what you are worth, be willing and able to understand another’s perspective -- while maintaining your sovereign right to disagree -- communicate with greater ease and skill, employ greater agility and flexibility in your projects, and …well, be happier.

It’s simple: if you judge yourself when you are ineffective at something--experiencing embarrassment and even shame--that’s going to get in your way of trying new things. It will seem “risky”. The more you limit yourself the more you live in the world of saying, “That's just not me”. And the world of me/not me becomes increasingly limited, and it is the world that most people live in.

The nature of evolution is evolving just as our relationship to evolution has been evolving from biological to mental and emotional to spiritual -- to bio-technical.

Ray Kurzweil, director of engineering at Google, believes we will be able to upload our entire brains to computers within the next 30 years or so. That will certainly change things, won’t it? But this is not a piece about the coming Singularity--no doubt an “event” that many long for, others fear, and still others will see as a sign of the coming rapture, and many have not even heard of. 

This is a piece about you.

When I say the nature of evolution is evolving, I mean in the Self developmental line--the internal subjective structures. And as it becomes clearer and clearer to you that increasing your internal capacities leads to exponentially increasing your “external” capacities and skills, then it becomes obvious that your own personal evolution --the stage of development you inhabit -- will determine not only your success in so many contexts of your life, but also how happy you are in that success.

There will always be outliers -- people who are geniuses in one context and so the world puts up with them being jerks. Sure. But for how long? Even a Steve Jobs had to take on his personality to be more effective. For most of us, we need to not only be good at what we do--and continue to grow and develop and take on continuing education in our areas of expertise--but we also need to treat other people well,  navigate tricky interpersonal situations, and negotiate compensation in a way that is truly beneficial to all parties involved. We have to be good at what we do and we have to be effective which includes have people feel good around us and about us.

Not only is this a reality for most of us--it is a reality of the new emerging age of integral authenticity. Just being brilliant is not good enough any more. Just having amazing insight and skill is simply not enough--we must also have these other capacities if we are to be in any kind of leadership role--whether that means being in business for yourself and forming a sole-proprietorship or whether you are in a managerial role, all the way up to a C-Level executive in a corporation.

It does not matter if you are a holsitic healer or a sales professional, the facts remain the same every day, in every context, in so many ways. Evolve how you relate to yourself, others, and the events around you to include an ever-increasing expanse and embrace. 

This is taken from the Evolutionary Sales course materials. This is no ordinary sales training.

//

Self-Esteem. Ego.

There is no greater core component to your degree of success or failure than the evolution, expansion, and strengthening of the above. There are several reasons for this, but as a refresher: there are two aspects to your self-esteem:

1) Self-Efficacy 

and

2) Self-Respect

Or:

1) knowledge of your competence 

and

2) The feeling you are "appropriate to life; deserve a good life”

Or:

1) Value in the marketplace

and

2) Your Divine worth as a settled matter

Or:

1) Practical 

and

2) Personal

Or:

1) Results

and

2) Meaning

Most people have the two domains collapsed or confused. This will cause you to take things personally, deflect feedback, blame others when you have some area you can take responsibility and improve in, make it means something about you, rather than the work in the world (to the degree you are identified with it), and slow your learning and improvement. It will also lead you to attempt to dominate interactions in an unclean way.

There are endless pitfalls, but the path is clear.

The solution(s) is/are to be continually strengthening your capacity to witness -- and increasing your skill at navigating your own interiors --, separate out the personal and the practical, notice when you use leveraging tactics of fear or shame despite your cognitive understanding that it will produce negative results and increase your spaciousness. And ultimately, remember, it is not about you; it is about the work -- it is about service. It is about your purpose in the world, and while that may be deeply meaningful to you, it is not who you are.

Who you are is pure divinity. Who you are is Spirit manifest. Who you are is radical God/dess-ness.

If you want to identify with something, identity with that -- with the ultimate Witness.

Your emotional and ego development is your most important undertaking in your business. In doing so, the system you learned will come even easier to you and the results will follow -- to the degree you get out of your own way. 

And remember, all of your results with clients is feedback. There is no result you can produce with another human that is *not* feedback -- both positive and critical/negative results. Even if that weren’t true (and it is) it is the powerful place to stand.

Your business will only grow to reach the limits you have within yourself. The more expansive you are, the more expansive your business and your reach -- and the more fully you will be able to live your purpose and prosper as a result.

You are on the right path. You are doing the right things. Step into your I-I and become.

In Service,

jason.the.mcclain™

///

Find out more about the course at the Evolutionary Sales website »here«.

A few days ago, a student of mine - a graduate of the Evolutionary Sales course -- asked me if fear could be useful.

Below is my response. 

--

Of course fear *can* be useful. Anything is useful in *some* context.

And in any situation where we are discussing intra-personal matters (our relationship with ourselves) the question is: "do we need to use negative emotions for their usefulness-or is there a way to get the same outcome with a method that creates harmony rather than dissonance and dis-ease?

I think the answer is pretty obvious.

This does occasionally come up with clients around motivation; they are not sure how they will motivate themselves without anxiety. In that situation we have to work with their meta-program around motivation; are they motivated toward vision or away from pain. I have it that it is not a wiring thing (we are "just that way" but a matter of choice, training, and conditioning).

Having said that, if you remove fear and replace it with nothing in terms of motivation, then you will run into problems of ... well, "lethargy" is not quite it, but you get my meaning I trust.

Going into this deeper, let's distinguish what we mean by "fear". I see the following:

1) Fight or flight where your body is in physical danger (rational fear)

2) Fight or flight where we are not in physical danger (irrational fear)

3) Anxiety around not knowing how to do something and we are forced to do it (like land a plane when you are not a pilot and lives are at stake).

4) Anxiety or panic when we imagine some performance situation going poorly (presentations / public speaking, approaching someone we are attracted to, etc.)

#1 and #3 are fine. In fact, #1 is critical for our survival; it can be life saving.

#2 is an invention of our mind and is created by a combination of a lack of facility with self / lack of skill at navigating our interiors and insufficient self-esteem. It is also usually resulting from a gestalt of fear that can and should be cleared out of our past.

#4 is pretty straight forward: it is imagining a future event with a negative outcome. And since that future is a fantasy, imagining it not going well is ... well, silly. It may not be conscious- or it often is. If you imagine giving a presentation and having your notes fall to the floor or everybody scoffing at you, then you will have anxiety (and other emotions). However, if you imagine it going well -- that everything is going to be fine and you make that your internal representation of the event -- imagine that "movie" then you will feel much, much better.

I am not personally motivated away from pain - it has almost no impact on me because of the life I have had; I can deal with pretty much any level of pain. I have also systematically cleared out fear, anxiety, anger, etc., etc., etc. And having worked on my ego structures for nearly 25 years, there is almost nothing that I am not certain I can handle, so it is simply ineffective for me personally. In general, I am future oriented, vision oriented, and "toward" motivated.

I have often found though, that you have to resolve the fear, guilt, shame, etc., before you can take the necessary steps you need to take to get the thing done you need to get done, so how about we skip the negative vibrations in our nervous system, and find ways to motivate ourselves without the blunt instrument of fear? And as we imagine how much more spacious we feel, and how much cleaner and clearer our vessel / channel is, we can live our purpose even more fully because our vehicle (body/mind/spirit/nervous system) does not have dissonance in it that needs to be calmed.

When you realize that you are unborn; when you meet the face you had before your parents were born- the pure Witness, then life becomes lela or play and you can thrust yourself into it with full gusto because you realize that you can't really die.

At that point you have disidentified from that which you *think* is you, but is not really you and you have identified with the ever-present Witness. You have become God.

And in that space, not only do you not need fear for utility, you realize how silly it is to even feel it. 

But that's a longer-term unfolding.

Right now, the task is to begin to build and strengthen your capacities to witness and to navigate your own interiors. As you continue to do that the rest will come as a natural evolution; a predictable unfolding. And like a rose in bloom opening to the sun, you will open to freedom.

Jason D McClain,

Evolutionary Guide®

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John Dalpe, CEO, RTR Ventures

Guy Segstock,

Sarah Jones, Introverted Alpha

Aaron Pava, Technologist

Nick Sweeney, Founder at PathAgape

Addrianna Reitenbach

More Praise

• Neslihan Akbas:

  "Jason D McClain has a solid and amazing ability to take complex structures and processes and deliver it through easily digestible and workable practices. Although I have heard about the evolutionary sales process, I attended the intro and began to do some pre-work and experienced an explosion of creative energy to my offering - can't wait for the course. Check it out for yourself!"

• Jean Bertrand:

  “I have taken several courses with Jason and find him to be a caring individual who really means what he says about wanting to help us evolve into our higher selves. He quickly senses what someones core issues are and over a period of time they are cleared and one is moved beyond what s/he even thought was possible for themselves.”

• Alika Medeiros, Love Sherpa:

  “Jason is amazing; he has a wealth of knowledge and gave me the missing link that I needed to get my business started. I highly recommend him to anyone looking to expand their practice and/or needing professional help with their internal and external growth. He has helped me step forward and inspire me to live my life’s purpose.”  

• Joshua Outwater, Vice President, BlackRock [formerly of Barclays Global Investors]:

  "With Jason's help, I've been able to expand my toolset which has enabled me to better direct my life. I've noticed that my relationships, both personal as well as professional, have improved significantly due to my improved style of communication. Personal evolution is a life-long undertaking and I am glad that I took my first steps with Jason."

• Peter Rubin, One Taste Certified Coach:

  “I’ve listened to your recordings you delivered in previous coaching courses and have found them to be insanely valuable. I've signed 8 clients and raised my rates already in the first few months of the program, and I attribute it to following your sales process to a "t". A HUGE thank you!"  -

   

   

• Dick Friesen, CEO, Alpha Presence:

  “The workshop lead by Jason McClain accomplished the challenging task of integrating a significant amount intellectual content, as well as experiential exercises and abstract modeling. The workshop felt very smooth--never too fast, never too slow. I expect significant changes in my life as I incorporate what I have learned."

• Heidi Geigis, Educational Professional

  "Through the work I did with Jason McClain, I discovered deeper parts of myself and learned a variety of tools to resolve them. My evolution is never-ending, and I now feel equipped to be responsible for it myself without needing to take another workshop or course to "fix" it."

  
  
  

• Jerry Candelaria, Co-Founder, The Arete Center for Excellence

  R.I.P.

  "Through his mastery of communication and presentation skills, Jason McClain has deeply contributed to my life in so many ways. He has helped me enhance my skills in such areas as, my coaching practice, course leading and group presentation. I have recommended him and will continue to recommended him to anyone seeking to grow their business."

• Jessica James:

  "Jason McClain commands the audience's attention as he provides a well-thought-out and coherent framework of ideas, and compliments those concepts with personal applications, as well as ice-breaking banter. He is efficient with time, providing dynamic ideas while making them accessible and stimulating."

Evolution.
Working From The Inside Out.

Frequently Asked Questions

• What do you charge for your 1:1 Coaching?

  $50,000.00 an hour.

  Just kidding.

  I do not discuss fees until we meet, I have a better understanding of your needs, and you have a better understanding of the work and the value it would bring to your life and your business. It would simply be inappropriate. However, no one has ever had sticker shock. It is truly about putting the focus where it is appropriate and in which sequence. If I answered the question without you understanding the process and value better, it would be irresponsible of me. And it would not matter if my rates were $30/hour or $5,000. It is still a number with no meaning until you understand the value it would bring to your life and/or business.

  How I do work is we engage in partnership around your goals, desires, and outcomes for about 6 months. In that time, you have virtually unlimited access to me. I can do this because I only engage with a limited number of clients at a time so I can fully serve them.

  I can say that no one has ever experienced sticker shock.

• How does the process work?

  First we have an initial chat on the phone for about 15 or 20 minutes to make sure there is good reason for us to work together--that there is a good initial fit--my making sure that I can help you achieve your outcomes with a high degree of certainty. If that is the case, then we schedule a complimentary exploratory session. In that session we go into greater detail about what you want to achieve or resolve.

  If this is for you personally, then we meet one-on-one. If it is something broader, could be on site at your company, and there may be some additional steps, but usually it is a pretty engaged and engaging process.

  I then tell you very directly which outcomes I have certainty you can, in fact, achieve through the process--and I am equally as direct about what is not my area of expertise. Next, I explain my approach and how specifically I will assist you in achieving your outcomes.

  At that point, we review an agreement [which has a full explantion of fees] and choose to work together--or we choose not to.

  Either way, at that point, a choice is made based on our sense of whether it is a good fit us both--or not.

  Pretty straightforward.

  There may be a couple of additional steps in between in the case of you wanting training for your employees or the scope is larger, but you get the general idea, I trust.

  As previously mentioned, I also have a limited number of spots available for "coaching" so I carefully interview my prospective clients. You will increase your footprint in the world as a result of our working together. I bear a strong responsibility to be certain that footprint is one that leaves a positive mark on the landscape. I take this very seriously.

• Why do you call yourself an "Evolutionary Guide". Seems pretty weird. Why not just call yourself a "coach".

  Coaches do great work, but I am not a coach. The core of my work involves guiding you through stages of development -- personally and professionally.  And while conventional coaching may be a part of our work together, being an Evolutionary Guide means I bring that third dimension of depth or if you prefer -- height / elevation -- to your development. Evolution is about stages -- with each stage transcending and including the former. So in a real sense "Evolutionary Guide" is simply more accurate to describe the work I do because our work together will not just allow you to have the results you want, but will also leave you with permanent aqusitions; we will not just shift your state, but also evolve your stage of development. That is not to say I do not have the capacity or skill to be a coach in terms of giving you direction and holding you accoutable if that is what you need. What is means is that I offer much more than that.

• Where or how do we meet? Do you work over the phone?

  I do not work over the phone.

  Generally, we meet via Zoom Video. We also use Slack for messaging, session notes, and document sharing.

• Do you offer programs that are less than 6 months?

  No, I do not. If you think about it, 26 hours is very little time--just a little more than one day--regardless of how it is spread out, to take you to a whole new level. 26 hours is far less than a weekend workshop--and we all know those don't assist you in integrating the change. This program does.

  It also allows us to relax into the process, built one phase on the previous, and so on. My work is in stages with any client

• Are you a licensed therapist?

  Nope. I am not a licensed California State mental health professional and do not provide psychotherapy, counseling, or any other mental health service that would require a license, nor do I hold myself out to provide such services. I provide consulting and educational services that often result in substantial learning, transformation, and the acceleration of your Professional Evolution.

• How is personal evolution different from therapy?

  Therapy is about diagnosis, classification, and often medicating. It is a problem and illness approach. Personal Evolution is about resolving past events, educating your mind to right thinking, and then deepening your Self. It is a solution approach. An educational approach.

Sixty pounds and eight inches.

That's how much I have lost in weight and around my waist in the last 15 months. I have gone from a 42-inch waist back down to a 34" waist and I have gone from 265 lbs down to just under 205 today -- while adding a significant amount of muscle mass. And I did so with a fairly relaxed workout routine.

I had gotten fat and what was worse (for me) was that my mental edge and sharpness as well as my motivation were dulled and muted. All of that has changed radically in the last 14 - 16 months.

How did I do it? What was the major or primary shift? There were certainly things that helped: I eliminated sugars and all grain-based carbohydrates except for the ever-famous "cheat day" once a week. That certainly helped. Ten months ago I chose to stop consuming alcohol -- choosing clarity over self-indulgence. Yes, that has assisted in the process.

But the primary component? Testosterone. Testosterone manages a lot of things: libido and aggression gets all the press, but did you know it also impacts drive and motivation, cognitive edge/sharpness, and fat metabolism/retention? And mood. Oh, mood.

Most people don't realize it, but if you have low testosterone levels you will retain fat--and it will increase your estrogen levels, which then in turn has you retain even more fat, which in turn lowers your testosterone even further -- it becomes a hormonal downward spiral.

A general medical practitioner will tell a man with very low testosterone that it is "normal" if it is still in the normal range. The range being between 200 and 1100. So 200 is "normal" but it is certainly not optimal.

And even more sadly (no pun intended) many men are being mis-diagnosed with clinical depression when they really just have low testosterone levels.

Disclaimer: I am not a trainer, nutritionalist, a medical Dr, or a practitioner of any kind of medicine nor do I hold myself out as such. I am simply a guy who has done a lot of research on my own and experimented with certain supplements and herbs and gotten my blood tested 4 times in the last year at regular intervals--and I am reporting my findings here for those who want to do their own research.

Let's discuss testosterone, free testosterone, levels, dietary adjustments, and most important of all, supplementation. Henceforth, testosterone will be simply referred to as "T" and free testosterone as "Free T".

Distinctions, Levels, and Ranges

Total T is what most people get measured with the blood tests that are out there--and if your Dr is not a specialist, this is the test they will give you unless you request both Total T and Free T to be tested.

Total T is just what is sounds like: your total levels in your blood. Free T is a test to see how much is bio-available; how much of your T is floating around available to be put to use at any given moment.

What is a "normal" range? Depends on which lab you ask, but there is some overlap. Some labs will say that a "normal" Total T level is between 200 and 1,300 ng/dl (nanograms per deciliter). Others say it is between 300 and 1300. Normal range for Free  T is murkier because of the different tests that different laboratories use. Here is a set of ranges from a forum I was involved in for a while:

Consequently, if your doctor tests your free testosterone, be sure you know the analytical method used. If your test results have a reference range as follows, you have probably been tested with one of the other test methods:

 

Male Reference Range - Test Type

 

* 66-417 nanogram/dL FWRA
* 12.3-63% %FWRA
* 5-21 nanogram/dL UF or ETD
* 50-210 picogram/mL UF or ETD

 

There are those that hold the opinion that Free T is the more important test because that is what measures bio-available T. Personally? I like to get both done.

My Personal Results

In November 2012 I took my first test. Here were my results:

Total T: 208
Free T: 14

At first, I tried the typical recommended herbal supplements: tribulus, fenegreek seed, yohimbe, and L-Arginine (an amino acid). I did see a 10% increase in my levels, but that elevation did not last long--about 2 months--even though I continued to take the herbs. So I decided to begin to investigate what body builders were doing who were not into the black or grey market stuff (pro-hormones, hormones themselves, and/or steroids because once you start taking those you have to take them for the rest of your life because your body stops producing its own T--and what we want to do is increase your body's natural production of T and slow its conversation to estrogen, which it is particularly prone to do if you have a large amount of body fat. 

I tried a few supplements that had some positive effects, but not impressive. I tried others that did not work at all. I finally settled on a triad of supplements that have produced the results I was looking for. I just received my most recent results and here they are:

September 10th, 2013

Total T: 495
Free T: 71

So ... what were these supplements?  

The first was D-Aspartic Acid. It is available in bulk at pharmaceutical grade. That is how I buy it--and I add it to my protein shake or simply shake it up with my other morning nootropic supplements. You can also buy it in capsules, but whatever deliver system you choose, the daily recommended dose is about 3.5 grams. You can purchase it »here«. The second is MuscleMeds Arimatest. You can purchase it on Amazon for a pretty good price »HERE«. The third is PES Erase High Affinity Inhibitor which can be found on Amazon »HERE«.

There are also things you want to avoid in terms of your consumption habits when you are looking to increase your T. Pseudo-estrogens are everywhere, which will lower your T and increase your estrogen. They are in plastics and in chemicals used in conventional agriculture (non-organic). What does this mean? When you are trying to increase your T, endeavor to eat only organic fruits and vegetables, and whenever possible, store your leftovers in glass containers--not plastic ones, and double goes for using the microwave; reheat your food in stainless steal pans on the stovetop or glass containers if and when you use the microwave.

In terms of diet for sustainable weight loss added to this program for increased T, I will leave that to a follow up article. For now, here is a summary to increase your T:

•Get tested and be sure you are testing both Total T and Free T

•Use the "big 3" supplements:

D-Aspartic Acid
MuscleMeds Arimatest
PES Erase

•Reduce and/or eliminate pseudo-estrogens in your environment, starting with using organics food sources and glass or stainless steel food storage and reheating containers and methods.

One side note: if you are on this program and you reduce your estrogen levels, some report problems with joint lubrication. To counteract this, I recommend taking another supplement:

Glucosamine, Condroitin, MSM. See it »HERE«.

As a final note: educate yourself around ranges. Everybody's body is different, so your methods may vary. The natural approach may work for you. I know for me, they did not pack enough punch at my low levels. Get educated, get tested, and experiment.


Additional Resources:

The Art of Manliness (ranges and measuring your T)

The 4 Hour Body (seriously awesome book, that includes a food-based program for increasing your T and about a dozen other things you will want to know about.

Life Expectancy and Testosterone and Estrogen (interesting read on how they can predict your life expectancy based on your hormone levels.)

UPDATE:  It is worth noting that Tim Ferris has a food-based protocol for increasing your T that involves brazil nuts, fermented cod liver oil, rich butter fat (think Irish butter) and egg yolks. Check the 4-Hour Body for the details. And it is an excellent book every man should have anyway.  


UPDATE January 17th, 2014: I just received my lates test results, and I am quite pleased.

Total T: 773
Free T: 160 

There were no supplement changes -- I did "cycle off" everything listed above for about a month before I took this latest test. I also increased my intake of red meat, egg yolks, and nuts. I can not speak to how much that contributed, although it is part of the diet-based protocol in the 4-Hour Body. However I did not consume nearly as much of the yolks as he suggests, and I consumed a lot more nuts...

"Falling in love is the greatest story of addiction in existence." -Philippe Lewis

I toyed with this idea for years. Along with the idea that all romantic love is a delusion. Delusion and addiction. Why else does "absence make the heart grow fonder" if not because you aren't dealing with the reality of who they are - but rather who you imagine them to be?

Right?

And … I am a self-described romantic.

(note from the writer: I will address stages of romance in a follow-up piece [Thank you, Deseere' cruz])

So when I say I toyed with the idea for years, I really mean I spent years and years in serious contemplation on the matter. But I have also gone for up to two years (26 months actually) being single and celibate and in the last 14 years I have spent periods of 14 months, 26 months, and 18 months single and celibate and without romantic interests or pursuits.

So … how to reconcile this? Is it accurate? Is it simply a dopamine addiction?

In this piece, we will examine that, as well as romantic love itself, and the relationship between the masculine and the feminine in a romantic relationship as well as the relationship between them within ourselves.

To do this most effectively, we'll have to turn - once again - to stage conceptions. For those of you who are unfamiliar with holarchical stage conceptions, here are a few examples:

Sentences contain words, which contain letters, but not the other way around. Cells contain molecules, which contain atoms, but not the other way around. Nations contain cities, which contain neighborhoods, but … not the other way around.

These are naturally occurring hierarchies where each individual item within it is a whole unto itself, and is also part of a larger whole.

One way to think about them is that they are stages of increasing wholeness. Another way to think about them - as it relates to the evolution of the ego or intra-personal development - is that they are stages of increasing broadness of embrace and an increase in the number of perspectives one can understand and, ultimately, occupy, but *also* they are stages of increasing depth. If you have trouble with "higher stages" as a concept because you feel that is judgmental, then leave that aside and think of them as "deeper".

You could also think of them as degrees of increasing subtlety; from gross to subtle to causal. Or stages of emotional development: from being emotionally stuck and run by your emotions, to having facility with self and therefore emotional choice, to finally being emotionally free - smiling a lot more than others at stages with less depth. Or, for our purposes here, stages of ego development and stages of relating between masculine and feminine: from ego-centric, to ethno-centric or nationalistic, to world-centric; from pre-rational, to rational, to trans-rational; from pre-personal, to personal, to trans-personal.

From unconscious, to conscious, to super-conscious.

My personal favorite way to think about it is: degrees of activation of one's nervous system, but then, I'm a geek.

At this point, you're probably asking yourself, "why should I care? What's all this crap for, Jason?

These stages are important because the stage a person is at determines the lens they will interpret the world through - and where they will react from, emotionally. It also gives us verticality; a 3-dimensional way of looking at the question rather than a 2-dimensional lens.

It is important to note, we all start at pre-rational. So no one escapes the assessment, least of all me.

We all, also - hopefully, but not always - evolve through the stages to reach trans-rational.

Most. importantly, it is necessary that we understand that being "at" a stage is not exactly a linear nor a fixed affair. If someone is solidly "at" say, a rational stage of development, what that means, in practical terms, is that they will interpret through and react from that stage on average 60+% of the time. The other 40%? It will be some mix of pre-rational and trans-rational. There is always a trailing component - call it shadow or residue or … stuff still to be resolved - and a leading component - you at your best or "peaks" (as well as peeks).

But for our purposes here, stages will give us incredible access and insight into this statement:

"Falling in love is the greatest story of addiction in existence." -Philippe Lewis

Is this accurate? 

Let's examine it together.

Stage: Pre-Rational

For those at a Pre-rational level of ego development, that is fact. It's pretty much hard-wired for those individuals. Why? They have very gross, intense experiences without much choice around it. They don't have emotions. Their emotions have them. And, because they are generally not living in service or have a purpose larger than themselves, it is the only way they feel alive.

Compounding the problem is that they are generally terrified to be alone, so they will be with just about anyone, regardless of functional fit.

These relationships are classic "fight and f**k" relationships. Participants in them will extol the virtues of "make up sex". They are rife with jealous rage, insecurity, constant fear and, as a result of that, being controlling. And they are typically riddled with blame and shame.

In terms of the masculine-feminine dynamics, it is an "Us vs Them" mentality with sweeping generalizations about the opposite gender in men and women especially. Women are viewed as gold-diggers (or worse), and fundamentally crazy. Men are viewed as a meal ticket, or, in the many cases as stupid and easy to control through sex (or the withholding of it). And, the irony is that for men and women at a er-rational level of ego-development, that is often accurate in terms of their motivations. Or, while many are pure in their motivations, they are desperate for company, attention, or … whatever is fulfilled by them not being alone - their biggest fear. "Real men don't cry", etc.

And yes, falling in love, for them, is an absolute addiction.

They are addicted to the sensations. To the dopamine and they will usually couple with others who are clearly bad for them, but who they view as the answer to all of their hopes and dreams. And it usually fails in epic fashion in the end. And in their withdrawals, they usually find a rebound relationship, which is both transference, and, in my view, radically irresponsible with another human's heart. But the sex sure is hot - because polarity is there.

Masculine and feminine: in conflict; at odds

Keyword: volatility.

Catchphrase: Fall in love

Next stage: Rational.

"Falling in love is the greatest story of addiction in existence." -Philippe Lewis

Again … is this accurate?

For those at a rational level of ego development, that is usually the interpretation - and they fear that falling in love is only an addiction so they steer clear and even mock it. Some call it childish. Some insanity. Some delusion and a waste of time. Settling for the "practical" choice is quite common here.

Rational relationships look more like business transactions than romance.

"Friends first" (usually for long periods of time) is quite common as it is the "safe and practical" choice. Emotions are often judged as bad or wrong, but great emotional facility and communication agreements can be the benefit that comes out of it; skill acquisition to be able to navigate their interiors.

The sex is often … well .. the sex is often not happening very often. And it's not very hot because there isn't approval for polarity. So-called "beta-males" are actively sought. If they are single, sex is often disconnected and separated from the heart and feelings and a purely physical act; simply subject-object.

For them is falling in love an addiction? No, even though they view it as such. Largely because they won't allow themselves to fall in love. Romance is childish, remember?

Masculine and feminine: in partnership (at times, resignedly so).

Keyword: stability.

Catchphrase: Grow to love.

Next stage: Trans-Rational

"Falling in love is the greatest story of addiction in existence." -Philippe Lewis

Is this accurate here?

For those at a trans-rational level of ego development they know that is sometimes the case, sometimes not, but because so few couples are both at a trans-rational level of development, there are precious few examples of non-addict and non-addicted romantic love that we can point to as examples and/or models.

Relationships where there is choice, freedom (and a reciprocal and complementary lack of a desire to control the other) Mutual respect. Interdependence (healthy, complimentary, chosen dependency) and yes all the roses, poetry, and fanfare of romance, that is to say there is a mental and intellectual component, a spiritual component, and a sexual component.

There is passion and there is functional fit. Communication skills are highly regarded and necessary because of the range of these individuals - they are (mostly) free emotionally and have self-approval and self-acceptance, yet they are also deeply caring; they are ethically spontaneous.

But it takes a tremendous amount of depth and development (read: trans-rational ego) to even be able to recognize such a thing even when it is right in front of one. Let alone live it.

Masculine and feminine: in union.

Keywords: Flex, flow, and play.

Catchphrase: Open to love; Surrender to love

When we consider that we all have masculine and feminine energetics and hormones within us (yes, women produce testosterone, albeit in much smaller amounts than men and men produce estrogen, albeit in smaller amounts than women) then we can see that we can also have these relationships within ourselves.

Consider the implications of being at odds with your internal feminine (as a man) and being at odds with your internal masculine (as a woman). Or being in a partnership. Or being in union internally. Each of the stages of relationship are invariable external manifestations of your relationship with yourself internally.

Obviously this transcends context and will produce radically different emotional experiences within and also in the outside world in your business, your social life, with our creativity, and our ability to be productive, yet still be in flow and allow for creativity.

Right down to how self-expressed you are. How happy. How free.

As you move up the stages, you will feel lighter, you will be affected emotionally by far fewer outside circumstances, you will increase your range of play. And while the challenges are more complex at higher or deeper stages because they are far more subtle challenges that require more flexibility of approach, there is no game with a bigger payout because you will have richer relationships, you'll be happier, and you will be much more enjoyable to be around.

So, is falling in love "addiction"? That depends on you. But freedom awaits. Freedom … in union.

Become The Best
Version of Yourself

Personal Evolution

Phase One (Clearing Your Foundation)

• Emotional Imprints

  Systematically and thoroughly resolve or dissolve:

  • Anger
  • Fear
  • Anxiety
  • Guilt
  • Shame
  • Sadness

• Limiting Beliefs

  About

  • Yourself, relationships, the world, people, money, the future etc.
  • Residue from previous intimate relationships
  • Parental patterns

• Traumatic Events

  • Death, Loss, and Grief
  • Financial loss
  • Divorce
  • Childhood abuse
  • Etc.

Phase Two (Education & Sense of Self)

• Develop and exercise "Facility with Self"

  • Build perceptual flexibility-experience events and people with a multi-faceted view, seeing more of the richness and depth of your life.
  • Gain "meta-cognition"--the ability to think about your thinking in a way that puts you more in the driver's seat [if you are not controlling your thoughts and your mind, who is?
  • Right now, your mind may have the upper hand, but we will harness its power for the goodness you want to bring to the world--even if by simply evolving yourself as a person
  • Learn how your mind codes experience so you can optimize it, patch it, hack it, or re-code it entirely

• Live Consciously

  Explicitly and consciously conduct an inventory of values and contexts in your life and determining how well your current choices in career, relationships, community, match up with your natural values.

• Build & Strengthen True Esteem For the Self

  Nurture the healthy and necessary ego focusing on the two components of true self-esteem; self-efficacy and self-respect (knowledge of your competence and feeling worthy of receiving). 

  Once a person has developed true esteem for the self--not based in the opinions of others, but rather internally validated, yet based on historical references--they have begun the path to freedom. Self esteem has been called the immune system for life. It's not that you will never fall ill again, but you will bounce back rapidly, you will honor yourself more--and you will be free from that tension in your body when you continually suppress your needs deferring to someone else's.

The Evolutionary Guide®

Jason D. McClain

This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
775-2-EVOLVE
(775-238-6583)

Schedule an Initial Assessment with Jason
Over Video

Phase Three (Integration)

• Learn how to more effectively communicate

  • Creating more win/win situations
  • Drawing clear boundaries
  • Graciously dealing with difficult situations
  • Resolve conflicts Rapidly
  • Have more fulfilling relationships with your family, friends, lover, spouse, colleagues
  • Avoiding co-dependent patterns and past pitfalls

• Begin the Infinite Game of the ever-deepening Self

  • Seeing every interaction and "problem" as an opportunity to take more responsibility, gain greater resource, and achieve greater depth
  • Living from and aligned with your spiritual purpose
  • Enjoying greater ease and happiness in your life in general
  • Seeing accurately and deeply into others

I’ve worked with hundreds of people over the years, and one of the common threads - in every case where they were starting their own business - was some version of self-doubt.

It shows up in many different forms: questioning whether they are good enough, whether they know enough, or have enough training. It shows up on how they set their prices, and in the way they have uncertainty about the future. It can also show up as perfectionism (because nothing is ever really good “enough” - and a half dozen other versions I could list.

One or more of these plague most solo-preneurs just starting out. Each of them are simple enough to resolve (and we can - and will - resolve them for you during the webinar on Thursday). Still others - as laid out below - require mindfulness and practice to let go of.

The most interesting challenge clients face - and the most pervasive dynamic I have witnessed among them - is many degrees more complicated.

The story may be familiar to you: you schedule a small talk - an introduction to your work - and let me assure you, these introductory workshops are the engine of your business. Through them, you provide value to the community and assist in building your following, your brand, and it’s an opportunity for people to see you in person so they get a deeper sense of you.

Someone comes up to you and tells you how amazing the talk was, how touched they were by it, and gets that glazed over look in their eye. It’s boom time, baby!

You pack up and go home and when you get home and check your email and there is a critical email from one of the evening’s participants saying that you needed to change XYZ about your presentation and how some of it was inappropriate. Suddenly all the inflation turns to deflation and you feel dejected and start to wonder - maybe this business isn’t for you.

How you actually performed becomes irrelevant because we are now dealing with a creation of your mind:

1) You collapsed two domains - personal and practical - you made a practical matter personal; you make it mean something about you personally when it is a matter of efficacy with the audience

2) Identification with your business or your material in the workshop causing you to react - you *are* your business in this situation. A case of mistaken identity. What’s more though, is these demonstrate an orientation to external validation.

This distinction Personal/ Practical is foundational in the self-esteem concepts I will lay out for you Thursday. 

Internal vs External orientations to validation will also make a headline appearance. These distinctions will go a long way toward increasing your freedom and choice and assisting you improve more rapidly.

There are a limited number of spots for the Webinar, so go grab your space now:
https://evolve-co.leadpages.net/self-esteem-burgers/

In Your Service,

Jason


Update: here is the video from the webinar. Enjoy!

Jason D McClain

775-2-EVOLVE

(775-238-6583)

This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

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Where's The McClain?

• San Francisco, CA

  37.7793,-122.419

• Austin, TX

  30.2711,-97.7437

• 47.6038,-122.33

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Creating The Love You've Always Wanted

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Creating The Love You've Always Wanted

Fri 7-10pmSat 10am-6pmSun 10-6

What is it? An immersive weekend course for singles and couples on how to call in a conscious, desire-based, fiery romance and set it up for success.  The weekend will cover how to transform relationships with truth and vulnerability, as well as tools, structures, and proven processes to powerfully navigate those times when the fire turns into fights, conflict, and disconnect. Why can’t you transform any problem in your relating? Why can't you stop making the same mistakes you saw your parents make? The answer is: you can with the right tools. Why do those same infuriating triggers get fired off with the same bad (worst) timing and intensity having you lose your mind when you need it most - with the person who you hold most dear? It does not have to be that way. We are going to show you how to do this. To have a conscious, desire-based, fiery romance. With truth, vulnerability, and tools to navigate those times when the fire turns into fights, conflict, and disconnect. We are going to share with our personal stories and tools to find your true north so that you can show up for the relationship that you have always wanted as a whole, healthy, turned-on member of a team!This is where the rubber of possibly meets the road of reality. And if you have the structures in place, you will gain traction, regain lost ground, make up lost time, return the magic of winning, and there will be champagne at the finish line once again. Or ... not. But the choice is now in your hands. What will you choose?"Psssst. Choose love!" -JasonQuestions about the course? Feel free to contact either one of us to schedule a conversation. Connect with us here: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..

Your Course Faciliators

What You May Discover, Learn, or Gain:

Uncover beliefs (about yourself, the gender you are drawn to, the world, love, relationships, and sex) that are blocking you from having the love you have always dreamed of

Deal with resentments built up from the past … now ... so you are seeing the other person more clearly and accurately

Move past the behaviors that have not served your relationship(s) - both past and current

Distinguish what you want in a partner and in a partnership, moving your dating life from chance and circumstance or "crash and burn" chemistry …. to wisdom and unparalleled clarity (or moving your current relationship from stuck and resigned or hopeless ... vibrant and inspired)

A roadmap to educating your partner. Clarify your desires and boundaries, create new ones, or dissolve them once obsolete, and get more of what you want, more often and with greater ease

Learn to Anchor into the positive aspects of what you want in a relationship (current or future), and create practices to support your vision

How to turn problems into solutions (using the Conflict To Connection process)

A Note From Jason

“The grass isn’t greener on the other side of the fence; it is greener where it is watered.” -Unknown“I love dating,” said three people ever in the history of things. The vast majority of humans (and many animals) engage in some “dating” or courtship ritual. From what I am being told, the sad truth is that in most conventional situations it looks like this: the man receives so many mixed messages about gender relations that he is in a state of paralysis when he approaches the door. "If I open the door for her, am I suddenly a sexist? If I don't open the door, am I no longer a gentleman who treats a woman with respect?" he wonders - and the door is opened for her by someone else while he mutters inside his head to himself. A woman knows she can open her door - sometimes she enjoys having it done for precisely that reason - but wonders if chivalry is dead and if there are any gentlemen with manners left in the world. Both enter the doorway a little disappointed.All a clusterf *ck of unstated expectations and assumptions.As for women? From what I hear, some of them go on dates having run through every contingency of how they could be harmed or things have gone wrong, which produces a high state of vigilance - anxiety - that by its very blocks intimacy.So both of them are losing, and neither has any clue about the other's true inner experience or what they wanted in those moments - or out of date for that matter. Sucks huh? But let’s say you somehow get through all that (and the 100 other things that we throw in the space that get int the way of connection and intimacy. And then, guess what happens? You realized (finally) that they passed enough of your tests for you to allow them in and be truly connected in the sweet, soft, gushy spaces you rarely share with others and never talk about at parties. But unfortunately you spent so much time building barriers around your heart, they don’t hear the invitation, and you feel misunderstood. OR you … let’s say ... have them listen to my whole, 22-minute gritty, on my website to make sure they can handle me. Did I say me? I ... uh ... mean ... you. And then … you hit the backroads of depth relating where you have to fix things, perhaps tend to children or shop for groceries or clean toilets when you only used to meet for fun, juiciness, and entertainment. And that’s why very few people can say they felt as much aliveness, appreciation & gratitude for the very existence of their partner than they did in the early stages of their relationship and now they talk more about logistics than they show affection, truth, and lack of fear in the face of sharing yourself as the first week you met when anything was possible - and before all the unsaid started getting in the way, resentments began to build, and doubt began to creep in. About … well, everything. And the magic feels lost.So you got through all that, and … your left wondering ... why do I even try?-Jason 

A Note From Deseere'

“I love dating,” said me, actually. Lol. I love the first date, the electricity, the excitement of getting to know someone for the first time. The zing of when he reaches for your hand the first time or I lean into the much-anticipated kiss. I love when a man shows up on time, opens the door, picks up the check and plans the evening. When I glow at all his comments and eat up every comment with curiosity. Where we are our “best selves” and I go to the bathroom to fart and not pick up my phone even once. The romance without the responsibility. And while all of that is fun and good, it isn’t always real. Most of the time though, it is all a mask. And I would do it over and over and over again to avoid the very thing we are all looking for.What I panic at is the intimacy.You know, the gushy stuff, the vulnerable the messy, the panties on the floor and three days of dishes. The crying over your grandfather's death or him meeting your kids. The part where you tell the truth and show your true colors. It is beyond “what is your favorite color” and into the real you. And it is UNCOMFORTABLE. Scary and vulnerable. It's intense to tell someone that you don’t like the way they bring you coffee in the morning (I mean shit! They are bringing you coffee right?! You should just drink it). Or to admit your fear and your places of resistance. It is risky to tell your partner that you just want to be alone for the night or hang out with your girlfriends, because aren’t they supposed to be the person you are with 24/7? Isn’t that what the romance books say?You can have both! The eternal date where you have the anticipation, the romance and still fart at the table. The moments of deep vulnerability and TRUTH. You have to work for it though. You need tools. You need support. We are bereft of examples of successful romances in our society today because people have given up. They show up as a false self, expect the other to be authentic, and they don’t do anything to set them up for success. Here is a risky analogy, but it works.Imagine for a moment that we are hiring our partners for a job (I mean we are right? One of the most important hires in our lives). You wouldn't hire an employee and not give them a training manual and set them up to do their job well right?! I mean their success is your success, so why not train them? Why not set them up for success in the very beginning? If you want your door opened, ask for it! You would be surprised how eager your partner is to say yes to your desires!This is the part that you’ve been waiting for.-Deseere'

More Courses and Workshops

Connect with us

Jason D This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. (775-238-6583)

Deseere' Cruz This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. (210) 396-9824

Leadership: Evolved

Three Spheres of Leadership

• 

  Private Leadership: Personal Development and Self Mastery

  Private Leadership is the foundational level of the Three Levels of Leadership model. It focuses on the leader's self-awareness, self-management, and continuous personal growth. Unlike public and private leadership, which are outwardly focused, personal leadership is an inward journey that shapes how a leader shows up in all aspects of their life and work.
  
  

  Elements of Private Leadership:

  • Technical Competence – knowing your technical weaknesses and continually updating your knowledge and skills
  • Attitude toward others – believing other people to be as important as you – or learning to believe it
  • Self-mastery – committing to self-awareness, self-integration, growth, and flexible command of your psyche
  • Developing inner alignment and wholeness - the key to embodying inspiring presence.

  Self-Awareness:

  • Understanding Your Strengths and Weaknesses
  • Emotional Insight
  • Attitude toward others – believing other people to be as important as you
  • Values and Beliefs: Knowing what matters most to you and aligning your actions with your core values builds integrity and authenticity
  • Self-Management: Emotional regulation, time management, adaptability, and flexibility

  Values and Integrity:

  • Core Beliefs: Values are the fundamental beliefs or principles that guide your behavior, decision-making, and interactions. They serve as an internal compass that determines what is important in your life.
  • Guiding Principles: Values influence your priorities, shape your goals, and define what success means to you. They help you differentiate between right and wrong and serve as a framework for ethical behavior.

  
  Lifelong learning and growth

  • Embracing opportunities to learn—from formal education to everyday experiences—ensures that you keep growing. This could involve reading, seeking feedback, acquiring new skills, and hiring mentors or coaches
  • Goal Setting: Clearly defined personal goals provide direction and motivation. Regularly revisiting and adjusting these goals keeps you aligned with your evolving aspirations.
  • Reflection: Regular self-reflection allows you to assess your progress, learn from mistakes, and celebrate successes. It’s a critical practice for refining your leadership style and personal habits

  Emotional Intgelligence (EQ)

  • Social skills: Social skills involve managing relationships to move people in desired directions, whether in leading a team, negotiating conflict, or inspiring change
  • Effective Communication: Clearly conveying ideas and actively listening.
  • Communication - both Verbal and Non-Verbal: Effective leaders use both words and body language to convey messages clearly. This includes tone, facial expressions, and gestures
  • Active Listening: This involves truly focusing on what others are saying, asking clarifying questions, and acknowledging feelings. Active listening helps in understanding underlying issues and fosters a sense of respect.
  • Empathy: Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, seeing situations from their perspective.
  • Self-regulation: Self-regulation is the ability to control or redirect disruptive emotions and impulses and to adapt to changing circumstances.

  Vision and Purpose
  

  • Defining Your Purpose: Personal leadership starts with understanding your own “why.” What motivates you? What are your long-term aspirations? A clear purpose guides your decisions and actions.
  • Creating a Personal Vision: Envision where you want to be in the future. This vision acts as a roadmap, providing both short-term and long-term direction for your personal and professional growth.
  • Aligning Daily Actions: Every decision and habit should move you closer to your vision. This alignment creates consistency and builds momentum over time.

  Authenticity, Accountability, Resilience, and Responsibility Authenticity in personal leadership involves acting in ways that are consistent with your beliefs and values, even when it’s challenging.

  • Building Trust: When you demonstrate integrity through your actions, you naturally build trust with others. This self-trust is the cornerstone of inspiring trust in your leadership.
  • Leading by Example: Your personal conduct sets the tone for how you expect others to act. When you live your values, you create a model for ethical and effective leadership.
  • Owning Your Actions: Taking responsibility for your decisions and their outcomes builds credibility. This means acknowledging both successes and failures without shifting blame.
  • Learning from Mistakes: Viewing setbacks as learning opportunities fosters resilience. Personal leadership means being willing to adjust your course based on what you learn from challenges.
• 

  Interpersonal Leadership: Leading Other Individuals

  Interpersonal Leadership focuses on the one-on-one relationships a leader builds with individuals. This level is about understanding, supporting, and developing individuals to help them perform at their best.

  • Building trust and rapport
  • Providing personal support
  • Tailored Feedback
  • Individual Development
  • Empowerment and Autonomy
  • Conflict Resolution
  • Emotional Intelligence

  Why Interpersonal Leadership is Important:
  

  • It strengthens the bond between the leader and team members, fostering loyalty and trust
  • It ensures that individuals feel valued, understood, and supported, which boosts morale and engagement.
  • Helps identify and address issues early, preventing them from escalating and affecting the team's performance 
  • Creates a culture of growth and development, enabling the team to reach its full potential.

  In summary, interpersonal leadership is about connecting with individuals on a personal level, understanding their unique needs, and providing the support and guidance they need to thrive. When done well, it complements public leadership and reinforces the leader's overall effectiveness.

   

• 

  Public Leadership: Leading Teams, Groups of Teams, & Audiences

  Public leadership is the outwardly focused dimension of leadership, where a leader influences and guides a group or organization through their decisions, actions, and interactions.

  This level emphasizes visible leadership activities and the direct impact a leader has on shaping collective efforts, behaviors, and outcomes.

  Public leadership is critical because it brings a leader’s vision and strategies to life in a tangible and collective way.

  It bridges the gap between goals and action, energizing teams and ensuring alignment among all parties.

  Success at this level depends on visibility, adaptability, trust, and the ability to inspire while maintaining accountability. When leaders excel in public leadership, they create lasting organizational impacts and instill confidence in those they lead.

  • Establishing Vision and Strategy
  • Setting Tone and Culture
    
  • Presentation and platform skills
  • Enhancing presence and charisma
  • Facilitating collaboration

  Which requires you to develop the characteristics of effective public leaders:
  

  • Authenticity
  • Communication Mastery
  • Emotional Intelligence (EQ)
  • Resilience and Adaptability

  Why Public Leadership Matters:

  It creates alignment and focus, ensuring everyone is working toward the same goals. It builds trust and credibility, which are critical for gaining buy-in and commitment. It inspires and motivates the team, driving higher levels of engagement and performance. It establishes the leader’s presence and influence, making them a central figure in the team’s success.

  It can also be the difference that makes the difference in whether investors feel confident in the vision and direction of the company.

  In summary, public leadership is about how a leader shows up in group and public settings, communicates a compelling vision, and inspires collective action. When done effectively, it complements private and interpersonal leadership, creating a well-rounded, integrated, embodied, and impactful leader.

Next Steps

Book Your Free Assessment Call Here

Jason D. McClain

This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
775-2-EVOLVE
(775-238-6583)

Book a Free Assessment With Jason
Over Video

Holistic Business Training v8

Success is not Magic. 

It is Systematic.

Cracking The Code 

Course Curriculum

• Weekend 1: The Evolutionary Sales System

  Evolutionary Sales: A sales system for the person who hates sales. A system based in Eastern Spiritual principles of service and contribution that passes the holistic smell test. A system that has you always know what to do next, in client centric, service based, and never-feels-like-selling-to-either-one-of-you kind of way. And, boasts a 90% conversion rate for those who adhere to it unwaveringly. [And yeah, you’ll get the flow charts, email templates, the preflight checklist and all that stuff so that you don’t drop any critical steps].

  Communication skills are physical skills so you’re going to practice this a lot.

• Weekend 2 : Talks and Marketing; Lead Generation

  This is the bread and butter of your practice.
  
  Webinars, tele-seminars, and the like are excellent for selling products or promoting events, but for one-on-one coaching services, there’s no replacing live in-person talks because they need to trust and feel you. It also happens to be the fastest way to fill your practice; the quickest way to generate leads under your own power. Plus you do good in the world for free — everybody wins!

  If your stomach is in your throat right now, then you’re just where I was.

  We’re going to give you a structure that will allow you to have talks write themselves plus we’re going to give you a few secrets that allow you to be confident rather than terrified.

  I’ve never had anyone who does two talks a month - it could even be under 10 people - worry about where their next potential client will come from.

  The first question I ask someone who is worried about where their next prospect will come from is when they gave their last talk.

  The solution to both is the same: schedule an event.

• Weekend 3: Personal Work; mindsets, beliefs, self-esteem, purpose, imposter syndrome, worthiness of receiving, money and spirituality

  All your fear, anxiety, doubts that you’re worthy of receiving, that people will pay you money — we’re going to address all of that and pull it out of your nervous system (you can’t serve powerfully until we resolve these conflicts within you).
  
  All the things that aren’t in any other business trainings that you don’t like to talk about at parties and you never post on Facebook about:

  • The part of you that thinks you’re a fraud (imposter syndrome)
  • The part of you that thinks you have to sacrifice your spiritual principles for money or money for your spiritual principles (neither are true)
  • Integrate your purpose and prosperity.

• Weekend 4: Designing Your Offering. Sustainability of Change for them and Financial Sustainability for you.

  A package or extedend offering is one of the three necessary components of a building a six-figure practice.

  It also affords you financial sustainability, allowing you to focus more completely on serving your clients, but more importantly, it provides the client with sustainability of change;  their transformations become permanent acquisitions over the time they spend with you.

• Weekend 5 of 5 Putting it all together

  It’s my responsibility to have you feel at a reasonable level of competency before you leave so that you can stand on your own two feet. This is the weekend where we tie it all together, polish rough spots, and address any additional areas where you still need to gain strength. Plus there’s a party. (edited)

Frequently Unasked Questions

• Q: Where is the course held?

  In the comfort of your own living room, or wherever else you can find a broadband internet connection. It will be presented live over Zoom Video (the web conference platform) for the entire duration of the course.

  No need to travel, or book accommodations, or any of the other things that might get in the way of you getting access to the material that will ... help me help you ... transform your business.

• Q: How do I know this is going to work?

  That’s a great question. The truth is, only a small percentage of people who attend these courses actually succeed. (In fact, the vast majority of coaches never make more than $25,000 a year). However,  the course participants who do succeed have one thing in common: they followed my system to the letter. And everyone who has not yet succeeded also shared a commonality: they did not.  Everyone who has followed the system has succeeded without exception. The system works. The question is: "will you?" Meaning:  will you do the things? Because if you do the things, it will work. 

• Q: How do I know it’s going to be worth my money?

  Simple: When you sign just two to three additional clients as a result of having taken this course, then the course will have paid for itself already and then some. It’s obviously worth it.

• Q: Have you built a 6 figure practice yourself?

  Yes. The material in this course was modeled from the systems I developed while building that 6 figure practice.

• Q: Do you accept bitcoin?

  I do not accept Bitcoin or any other cryptocurrency*.

  *if you hold dogecoin: much wow soon contact. send message

• Q: Will I have a 6 figure practice by the end of the course?

  Can it be done?  It's absolutrely possible: with certain sklills and/or professional assets in place ready to be leveraged (e.g.; an email marketing list with over a million subscribers, a vast, powerful professional network from your career path, etc.), then maybe.

  However, we certainly are not making that claim, nor is it the promise of the course. You could do it, certainly. Almost anything is possible for you. The question of whether it is sustainable or not for you energetically and for your business as a practical matter is another question.
  
  The aim of the course is to help you build a 6-figure practice in a sustainable and sustained way. To that end, what we set as a responsible expectation for course participants is that you will likely be at a run rate* for 6 figures (over $108,000 per annum) by the end of the course - or within a few weeks of its completion. Provided you do the things.

• Q: Is there a payment plan?

  Yes there are payment plans available to fit most budgets. This course has to work within the context of the rest of your life. We have a standard payment plan and if that will not work for you, we empower you to create your own payment plan proposal (within fixed parameters). That way we know you can keep the agreement.

• Q: I hate sales. This course seems to focus on sales a lot. Do I have to participate in that part?

  I hated sales too. I swore I never would be involved with sales. But I find that most people don’t like sales because icky sales people sometimes do icky things, or they use old school leveraging tactics, or straight out use intimidation, or they leverage fear. Because I abhor all of those tactics, once I was shown the brutal reality that If I didn’t realize how to sell and influence people to take action to get the things they say they wanted, I wasn’t going to be serving anybody very long if I did not gain those skills. Evolutionary sales, the system I designed, comes from service and contribution to the client, is absent of leveraging or fear-based tactics, and is the centerpiece of this course.

  You’ll discover evolutionary sales has none of icky dynamics while standing as a proud counter-example to typical sales that will have your negative beliefs about sales melt away. 

  We handle this directly on the first day of the training so that put that matter behind us and focus on building your business so you can acquire your prosperity through living your purpose.

• Q: I think I only need 3 of the 5 modules. Can I attend a-la-carte?

  There are several things to consider here.

  The first is the cohesion of the group and their rapport, feelings of safety of participants going through this process together,  your own pacing, and the fact that one good idea could be worth hundreds of thousands of dollars to you or one shift in perspective can shift your business dramatically.

  The assertion that you already have what is contained within those modules is a dubious assertion to make.

  I’ve heard lots of people say they’ve “got things” and have them blown away by the depth and density of material we offer in that same module. And lastly, in terms of the curriculum modules, their sequence is designed in a specific and systematic way and with that each module builds on the previous module in ways that necessitate engagement over the entire arc of the course. If you did it piecemeal, you would get piecemeal results.

  Furthermore, each module is designed to evoke certain aspects of you in a way that will have your sense of self expand, your range increase, and who you think of yourself to be will encompass far more than you currently imagine.

  Building a 6-figure business takes habits in both practice and mindsets, and this course exercises these muscles throughout.

  All of this will add up to you actually experiencing the results you want rather than just attending a workshop here and there and then shaming yourself against unrealistic expectations because the trainer or presentor or facilitator was not committed enough to your evolution to tell you the truth.

  And the truth is you will likely need some aspect of every module no matter how much experience you have.

• Q: I really want the lead generation and signature talks weekend. Can I attend just that one?

  See above.

• Q: Is there a certification and if so, what are the requirements?

  Certifications are not what prospective clients care about, ultimately. What they ultimately care about is that you are competent to assist them in getting the results they desire.

  There are plenty of people out there with licenses, certifications, and advanced degrees who are not competent at all. Just as there are plenty of people out there with no degree or certifications who have real-world experience who are incredibly competent.

  The only certification you need is the certification you give yourself when you finally meet that 6-figure income goal.

  Testimonials are far more valuable from a marketing and credibiulity standard. Plus, they will feel far better to you than any slip of paper hanging on your wall I could give you.

   

  What’s more, if they are asking about certifications, they probably don’t trust you and it’s a delay tactic or a red herring, and that’s based on my experience working with over 500 one-on-one clients over the last 14 years.

  No one asks established practitioners about certifications.

  They sense the competence within you in how you address their outcomes and how congruent you are throughout the Exploratory Session in conveying that you can help them.

  When a coach is confident, that's contagious: they’re perceived as competent by the prospective client. If the coach is uncertain, that is contagious as well and the prospective client feels that and becomes uncertain in the process.

• Q: I’m a current VIP client; how much do I have to pay for the course?

  It’s included in your VIP package therefore, the total cost of this course for you is $0.

• Q: If I enroll in this course, can I retake the course again in the future for free?

  We offer students who have completed the course an opportunity to retake it with a 50% discount on whatever the course costs at the time it is offered.

• Q: Is anyone co-leading the course with you?

  No. All McClain, all the time.

  Well, we may have a social media expert come in when we do the module on marketing and lead generation, however, they will be more of a guest speaker than co-facilitator. And they are yet to be confirmed.

• Q: May I assist and in exchange take the course for free?

  No. But, thank you for asking; that's very kind of you.

• Q: I’m an executive and now I want to move to coaching. Is this course for me?

  The system works for almost any business that is service-based and deals with clients one-on-one.

  My clients who have successfully implemented the systems have included coaches, photographers, body workers, acupuncturists, artists, web designers and even a lawyer.

  A person like you who was an executive (manager, Director, VP, or C-Suite) can tap into the tremendous connections and resources you have built throughout your career. So not only would this course be a fit for you, you will probably be its star participant.

• Q: I’m not an executive and have no "real-world" business experience. Is this course right for me?

  This course is appropriate for anybody who’s a competent practitioner of any of the professions listed above who wants to do well by doing good; who wants to integrate their spiritual life with their business life.

  Those who desire to live fully aligned with their purpose and prosper and accomplish that via ethical means.

• Q: How is this different from other sales or business training courses I’m considering?

  Other courses you're considering don’t offer the scope or depth that this course does (or so I’ve been told by those who have attended the other well-known trainings out there as well asd mine).

  To get really specific, we’re going to address and transform all of the things that get in the way that you don’t like to talk about at parties. The things no other course addresses:

  • Your relationship to money and spirituality and how you may think they are in conflict.
  • Your sense of your worthiness of receiving; whether or not you feel you are worth what clients pay you.
  • "Imposter syndrome" -- concerns you’re an imposter or a "fraud" because there are parts of your life that you haven’t mastered fully.
  • Your fear
  • Your anxiety
  • Your self esteem
  • Your negative self-talk
  • Your self doubt
  • Your level of self acceptance

  In short, as Jack Welch said, “the soft stuff is the hard stuff,” and we’re going to go right at it.

  That’s right, we’re going to address your emotional life and your inner personal work — and we'll clean out your vessel for your purpose. 

  That - combined with Evolutionary Sales - is what makes this training so unique - unprecedented even.

• When

  2020 Dates

  All Dates Sat. & Sun.
  
  Training Times
  9a - 5p Pacific
  
  June 13, 14
  The Evolutionary Sales System

  June 27, 28
  Talks and Marketing;
  Lead Generation

  July 11, 12
  Personal Work; mindsets, beliefs, self-esteem, purpose, imposter syndrome, your worthiness of receiving, money and spirituality

  July 25, 26
  Designing Your Offering. Sustainability of Change for them and Financial Sustainability for you.

  August 22, 23
  Weekend 5 of 5 Putting it all together

  Other Logistics:
  
  Main meal break is always precisely at 
  11a Pacific and is 90 minutes in duration
  
  Two other breaks occur during the day - between 10 and 20 minutes long - for body movement, integration, and refreshing yourself. The time they begin based on the energy of the group.

• Where

  Zoom Online Training

Digital Courses and Products (links lead to sales pages on Jason's Kajabi site)

• 

  Breaking Free From Anxiety and Depression: $197

  Break Free From Anxiety and Depression with this comprehensive 6-week Program. 

  Read more

• 

  Presentation Mastery Digital Course : $497

  For professional communicators, workshop leaders, speakers, trainers, and course facilitators.

  Read more

• 

  How To Crush It On The Apps $47

  It's not the apps: it's you.

  We will help you avoid predictable mistakes, write a killer profile, discover messaging best practices, dos, and don'ts - and crush it on the apps.

  Read more

Connect With Jason

Bios

Follow Jason

• linkedin
• facebook

Integrate.

Prosperity Through Purpose.

Frequently unAsked Questions about the Holistic Business training

[click the + on each question to expand the answers]

• Q: If I already know the things I’m supposed to do, why should I pay you money to hold me accountable?

  Well, you’re not paying me to do that.

  To be honest, I’m not really an accountable guy — although the fact that this is more than one weekend and we’ll see each other over the video will have your integrity will have you hold yourself accountable — be that as it may, what your’re paying me for is the fact that I’ve had over 500 clients through one-on-one programs and refined this systems for over a decade.

  I’ve pretty much seen it all and I can help you avoid the mistakes that you’ll inevitably make (because I’ve already made them so you don’t have to).

  What you’re paying me for is my ability to rapidly troubleshoot what to correct when you get sub par results. In other words, rather than bumping against things it the dark you can’t see or predict and thereby having it take 5 years to build a 6 figure practice, instead, you do it in 4-6 months.

  That’s what you’re paying me for. 

• Q: I really want the lead generation and signature talks weekend. Can I attend just that one?

  See above.

• Q: If I already know the things I’m supposed to do, why should I pay you money to hold me accountable?

  Well, you’re not paying me to do that.

  To be honest, I’m not really an accountable guy — although the fact that this is more than one weekend and we’ll see each other over the video will have your integrity will have you hold yourself accountable — be that as it may, what your’re paying me for is the fact that I’ve had over 500 clients through one-on-one programs and refined this systems for over a decade.

  I’ve pretty much seen it all and I can help you avoid the mistakes that you’ll inevitably make (because I’ve already made them so you don’t have to).

  What you’re paying me for is my ability to rapidly troubleshoot what to correct when you get sub par results. In other words, rather than bumping against things it the dark you can’t see or predict and thereby having it take 5 years to build a 6 figure practice, instead, you do it in 4-6 months.

  That’s what you’re paying me for. 

• Q: How do I know this is going to work?

  That’s a great question. The truth is, only a small percentage of people who attend these courses actually succeed. (In fact, the vast majority of coaches never make more than $25,000 a year). However,  the course participants who do succeed have one thing in common: they followed my system to the letter. And everyone who has not yet succeeded also shared a commonality: they did not.  Everyone who has followed the system has succeeded without exception. The system works. The question is: "will you?" Meaning:  will you do the things? Because if you do the things, it will work. 

• Q: Have you built a 6 figure practice yourself?

  Yes. The material in this course was modeled from the systems I developed while building that 6 figure practice.

• Q: How do I know it’s going to be worth my money?

  Simple: When you sign just two to three additional clients as a result of having taken this course, then the course will have paid for itself already and then some. It’s obviously worth it.

• Q: I think I only need 3 of the 5 modules. Can I attend a-la-carte?

  There are several things to consider here.

  The first is the cohesion of the group and their rapport, feelings of safety of participants going through this process together,  your own pacing, and the fact that one good idea could be worth hundreds of thousands of dollars to you or one shift in perspective can shift your business dramatically.

  The assertion that you already have what is contained within those modules is a dubious assertion to make.

  I’ve heard lots of people say they’ve “got things” and have them blown away by the depth and density of material we offer in that same module. And lastly, in terms of the curriculum modules, their sequence is designed in a specific and systematic way and with that each module builds on the previous module in ways that necessitate engagement over the entire arc of the course. If you did it piecemeal, you would get piecemeal results.

  Furthermore, each module is designed to evoke certain aspects of you in a way that will have your sense of self expand, your range increase, and who you think of yourself to be will encompass far more than you currently imagine.

  Building a 6-figure business takes habits in both practice and mindsets, and this course exercises these muscles throughout.

  All of this will add up to you actually experiencing the results you want rather than just attending a workshop here and there and then shaming yourself against unrealistic expectations because the trainer or presentor or facilitator was not committed enough to your evolution to tell you the truth.

  And the truth is you will likely need some aspect of every module no matter how much experience you have.

• Q: I hate sales. This course seems to focus on sales a lot. Do I have to participate in that part?

  I hated sales too. I swore I never would be involved with sales. But I find that most people don’t like sales because icky sales people sometimes do icky things, or they use old school leveraging tactics, or straight out use intimidation, or they leverage fear. Because I abhor all of those tactics, once I was shown the brutal reality that If I didn’t realize how to sell and influence people to take action to get the things they say they wanted, I wasn’t going to be serving anybody very long if I did not gain those skills. Evolutionary sales, the system I designed, comes from service and contribution to the client, is absent of leveraging or fear-based tactics, and is the centerpiece of this course.

  You’ll discover evolutionary sales has none of icky dynamics while standing as a proud counter-example to typical sales that will have your negative beliefs about sales melt away. 

  We handle this directly on the first day of the training so that put that matter behind us and focus on building your business so you can acquire your prosperity through living your purpose.

• Q :Where is the course held?

  In the comfort of your own living room, or wherever else you can find a broadband internet connection. It will be presented live over Zoom Video (the web conference platform) for the entire duration of the course.

  No need to travel, or book accommodations, or any of the other things that might get in the way of you getting access to the material that will ... help me help you ... transform your business.

• Q: Do you accept bitcoin?

  I do not accept Bitcoin or any other cryptocurrency*.

  *if you hold dogecoin: much wow soon contact. send message

• Q: Will I have a 6 figure practice by the end of the course?

  Can it be done?  It's absolutrely possible: with certain sklills and/or professional assets in place ready to be leveraged (e.g.; an email marketing list with over a million subscribers, a vast, powerful professional network from your career path, etc.), then maybe.

  However, we certainly are not making that claim, nor is it the promise of the course. You could do it, certainly. Almost anything is possible for you. The question of whether it is sustainable or not for you energetically and for your business as a practical matter is another question.
  
  The aim of the course is to help you build a 6-figure practice in a sustainable and sustained way. To that end, what we set as a responsible expectation for course participants is that you will likely be at a run rate* for 6 figures (over $108,000 per annum) by the end of the course - or within a few weeks of its completion. Provided you do the things.

• Q: Is there a payment plan?

  Yes there are payment plans available to fit most budgets. This course has to work within the context of the rest of your life. We have a standard payment plan and if that will not work for you, we empower you to create your own payment plan proposal (within fixed parameters). That way we know you can keep the agreement.

• Q: Is there a certification and if so, what are the requirements?

  Certifications are not what prospective clients care about, ultimately. What they ultimately care about is that you are competent to assist them in getting the results they desire.

  There are plenty of people out there with licenses, certifications, and advanced degrees who are not competent at all. Just as there are plenty of people out there with no degree or certifications who have real-world experience who are incredibly competent.

  The only certification you need is the certification you give yourself when you finally meet that 6-figure income goal.

  Testimonials are far more valuable from a marketing and credibiulity standard. Plus, they will feel far better to you than any slip of paper hanging on your wall I could give you.

   

  What’s more, if they are asking about certifications, they probably don’t trust you and it’s a delay tactic or a red herring, and that’s based on my experience working with over 500 one-on-one clients over the last 14 years.

  No one asks established practitioners about certifications.

  They sense the competence within you in how you address their outcomes and how congruent you are throughout the Exploratory Session in conveying that you can help them.

  When a coach is confident, that's contagious: they’re perceived as competent by the prospective client. If the coach is uncertain, that is contagious as well and the prospective client feels that and becomes uncertain in the process.

• Q: I’m a current VIP client; how much do I have to pay for the course?

  It’s included in your VIP package therefore, the total cost of this course for you is $0.

• Q: If I enroll in this course, can I retake the course again in the future for free?

  We offer students who have completed the course an opportunity to retake it with a 50% discount on whatever the course costs at the time it is offered.

• Q: Is anyone co-leading the course with you?

  No. All McClain, all the time.

  Well, we may have a social media expert come in when we do the module on marketing and lead generation, however, they will be more of a guest speaker than co-facilitator. And they are yet to be confirmed.

• Q: May I assist and in exchange take the course for free?

  No. But, thank you for asking; that's very kind of you.

• Q: I’m an executive and now I want to move to coaching. Is this course for me?

  The system works for almost any business that is service-based and deals with clients one-on-one.

  My clients who have successfully implemented the systems have included coaches, photographers, body workers, acupuncturists, artists, web designers and even a lawyer.

  A person like you who was an executive (manager, Director, VP, or C-Suite) can tap into the tremendous connections and resources you have built throughout your career. So not only would this course be a fit for you, you will probably be its star participant.

• Q: I’m not an executive and have no "real-world" business experience. Is this course right for me?

  This course is appropriate for anybody who’s a competent practitioner of any of the professions listed above who wants to do well by doing good; who wants to integrate their spiritual life with their business life.

  Those who desire to live fully aligned with their purpose and prosper and accomplish that via ethical means.

• Q: How is this different from other sales or business training courses I’m considering?

  Other courses you're considering don’t offer the scope or depth that this course does (or so I’ve been told by those who have attended the other well-known trainings out there as well asd mine).

  To get really specific, we’re going to address and transform all of the things that get in the way that you don’t like to talk about at parties. The things no other course addresses:

  • Your relationship to money and spirituality and how you may think they are in conflict.
  • Your sense of your worthiness of receiving; whether or not you feel you are worth what clients pay you.
  • "Imposter syndrome" -- concerns you’re an imposter or a "fraud" because there are parts of your life that you haven’t mastered fully.
  • Your fear
  • Your anxiety
  • Your self esteem
  • Your negative self-talk
  • Your self doubt
  • Your level of self acceptance

  In short, as Jack Welch said, “the soft stuff is the hard stuff,” and we’re going to go right at it.

  That’s right, we’re going to address your emotional life and your inner personal work — and we'll clean out your vessel for your purpose. 

  That - combined with Evolutionary Sales - is what makes this training so unique - unprecedented even.

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Evolutionary NLP Certification Training

2019 Evolutionary NLP Certification Training

July 13, 14August 10, 11September 14, 15October 12, 13November 9, 10December 14, 15January 11, 12

Sat 10am-6pm CentralSun 10am-6pm Central

What is it? The most advanced communication tools in the world - whether you are communicating with yourself or with others.What is NLP? The study of the structure of your subjective experience and the science of modeling excellence.Its applications?•Better understanding of yourself and others•Being able to navigate your interiors •Better emotional facility•Higher emotional intelligence•Being able to connect with others at a much, much deeper level•Establish rapport with anyone you choose at any time and have them feel understood and validated•Incredible rapid therapeutic results (dissolving shame, grief, fear, anxiety,•Healing traumatic events from the past more rapidly and more thoroughly than most think possible•Be more effective at teaching •Negotiation skills•Greater clarity in your communication•If you are a coach, enjoy your clients getting results with you that are, rapid, breakthrough, and mind-blowingYou will become deeper, more skilled, and more precise at everything you do with others both personally and professionally.And if you are a coach or healer, this is a necessary and complementary toolset for whatever modality you are already trained in.14 Days, 7 weekends over 6 months. Deep dive.

Impressions

Course Curriculum (click the + to expand each section)

Categories: Skills, Techniques & Processes, Principles Necessary Elements for Change Ecology and Ethics - using NLP with someone, not on someone NLP Presuppositions - Modeling wisdom across the ages Neuro-Logical Levels - “where to tap” Sensory acuity - sharpening your focus and awareness Pattern recognition Noticing difference Hallucination vs sensory-based information

Non-verbal rapport Developing multiple perspectives Metacognition Anchoring - mastering the dial-up of transient states Marketing uses Internal representation systems - the ultimate map of your interiors VAK Timelines Eye Accessing Cues Parts Model

Meta Model: a set of tools to eliminate ambiguity, increasing clarity and reducing misunderstandings by recovering the deleted or  generalized information from language. Quantum Linguistics:  A set of linguistic tools to dissolve limiting beliefs. Milton Model: Hypnotic Language patterns modeled after Milton Erickson (yes, namesake of the school of Ericksonian Hypnosis) providing you with the ability to communicate more abstractly for the purpose of alignment, agreement and negotiation. Also the lubrication on the gears of any change or transformational process.

Humans don’t experience reality, we experience our internal representations of reality coded in the modalities of pictures, sounds, feelings smells and tastes (V.A.K.o.g.; visual, auditory, kinesthetic, olfactory, gustatory) . Submodalities are the finer distinctions within each of the sense codings that allow you to have superhuman control over emotions, imprints from the past, affording you mastery over your experience.

No judgment is more impactful than the judgment you pass on yourself. Your esteem for yourself is your immune system for life. True self esteem is knowledge of your efficacy and feeling worthy of receiving. The first is about results, feedback, the practical.. The second portion is about your worth - accepting your divinity, that you are worthy of receiving. For entrepreneurs there is no single more important thing on which to focus. For healthy relationships, there is no single more important thing on which to focus. For your general happiness, there is no single more important thing on which to focus.Stage Conceptions: stages of moral development, stages of ego development, a la, Ken Wilber, Dr Clare Graves, Gene Gebser, Lawrence Kohlberg and Carol Gilligan, et. al., Discover how to accelerate movement through the stages to create a better world.

Parts Model as a negotiation model Ethical sales models Parts integrations and Core transformation Assumptive closes

Releasing Emotional Enmeshment Timeline Clearing Grief Resolution  Circle of Excellence Visual Swish Mapping Submodalities Parts Integration Core Transformation Creating Your Future

From Jason

So many of you over the years have asked me to do another NLP Practitioner Certification.I designed and delivered one in 2006 to about 22 people. It was fun. It was grueling. It took too much out of me. I talked about it being a labor of love. I swore I would never do one again.But so many of you have asked me over the years to do it, and finally, I am. And to make it easier on all of us - I am doing it over video, live. So you can experience this incredible value from the comfort of your own home or ... wherever you are in the world.All dates are Saturday and Sunday, from 10am to 6pm each day. They will include a 90-minute lunch break and two 20-minute movement and integration breaksThis will be live with/over ZOOM Video. We will all be able to see each other. You will have a practice partner. Can't make one of the weekends? Just add the video recordings package.Don't know what NLP is or why you should care? Holy moly - I'll explain that in the days and weeks to come.Already know what it is, and feel yourself having the urge to say, OH MY GOD, JASON! WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?! PLEASE TAKE MY MONEY! REGISTER ME FOR THE TRAINING! Well? Wha6 are you waiting for? Message me now and we will schedule a time to have a conversation and make sure you are a fit for the course and the course is a fit for you.Well?GO! Message me. Let's talk.

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1-Day Evolutionary Immersions

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  Saturday October 16th | 12pm-4pm Pacific

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  Saturday October 23rd | 12pm - 4pm Pacific Time

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  Saturday October 30th | 12pm - 4pm Pacific

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  Saturday November 6th | 12pm - 4pm Pacific

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  Saturday November 20th | 12pm - 4pm Pacific

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  Saturday December 4th | 12pm - 4pm Pacific

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Evolve

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  Evolutionary Relationships

  Creating The Love You've Always Wanted

  Whether you are in grief and do not want to repeat the same patterns or you are in the middle period and there is a lack of aliveness in your relating or you are single or are seeking or about to begin a relationship, we've got you covered.

  Evolve Here

• Personal Evolution

  Go Deep Or Go Home

  For those who want to do the deep work that will provide lasting, stable, permanent change. Evolve how you relate to yourself (ego) and how you relate to the events in your life (emotions) and enjoy ever-increasing levels of choice, freedom, and happiness.

  Evolve Here

• 

  Professional Evolution

  For Coaches, Healers,
  and Solopreneurs

  Jason began teaching coaches how to build six-figure businesses in 2008. Evolutionary Sales is sales without the selling. For the practitioners looking to build their business without compromising their heart-centered values.

  Evolve Here

Upcoming Courses & Writing

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  Evolutionary NLP Certification Training v5

  2021 Dates To Be Release

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  Purpose and Polarity

  Evolutionary Gentleman Training
  Level 1
  
  February 18, 19

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  Evolutionary Relationships

  Read book excerpts at the link below.
  
  2021 Book Release Date To Be Announced.

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Create The Love

You've Always Wanted

Relationships: Evolved

#RelationshipGenesis

• Clearing Your Foundation

  The truth of the matter is if you still harbor resentments about your past relationship - or about men or women in general, you are not yet ready to date again. Not responsibly.

  • Healing Your Relationship Residue From The Past
    
    • Clearing Grief, Anger, Resentments
    • Releasing emotional enmeshments from past loves and lovers
    • Dissolve parental imprints
    • Completing your past so you can create your future and attract your next love
    • Fear and trepidation as a result of past experiences

  If you are currently in a relationship and you want to transform it  - to breathe new life into it - clearing out any resentments you harbor is the critical first step.

• Mindsets and Beliefs

  The Law of Attraction and confirmation bias are powerful forces - most of which happen at the unconscious level. But we can change this so you can use the power of your mind to get what you want - rather than having what you keep trying to avoid.
  
  We have you take on mindsets and beliefs that will serve you and your relating in several areas:

  • Yourself, relationships, the world, people, money, the future,  your partner if you are in a relationship, etc.
  • How to relate to conflict and rejection in ways that empower you and help you grow rather than shut you down
  • Accepting that you are worthy of having a fulfilling relationship
  • Consciously designing and co-creating what you want your relationship to be about.

• Moving From Chance To Wisdom

  Once you have cleared out the past and taken on empowering and powerful mindsets and beliefs and committed to certain principles that will help you avoid common pitfalls, you can head out into the real world.

  We'll cover:

  • Do's and don'ts of dating - online and in real life
  • How to rock the first date
  • How to ask questions that will reveal whether it is a good fit or not in the first hour - rather than finding out the hard way over weeks or months
  • How to have an authentically fulfilling connection - and how to communicate authentically and deeply
  • How to co-create your relating, what its purpose is, and what your agreements are.
    
    

  Unfortunately, most people connect around simple attraction or chemistry alone, which leads to predictably volatile results.
  
  You can certainly have chemistry, passion, and otherworldy attraction, but you must do this within the context of functional fit at a deeper level.
  
  We'll cover how to determine this deeper level fit early on through curiosity and inquiry in a way that assures that special someone you are hot for will also be a good fit so you do not suffer from a cycle of disappointments and flash-in-the-pan short-lived relationships. 

#RelationshipContinuum

• How to Navigate Conflict

  No matter how much love there is, there will inevitably be conflict.
  
  The difference between an extraordinary relationship and a mediocre one is how quickly you can move through that conflict and get back into connection.
  
  In #RelationshipContinuum you will learn how to negotiate and implement specific communication structures for quickly deeply resolving conflict - without stepping over anything or indulging in bypass - so you can more rapidly get back into connection and back into the juicy intimacy and love that brought you together in the first place.

• How To Have Scary Conversations

  How to express your needs, make requests, and create new agreements and understandings.

• Keeping It Fresh, Alive, and Vibrant

  From date nights to reinvigorating your sex life. 
  
  We can design approaches that align with your values for play, romance, increasing your intimacy and connection, and desire to have a more fulfilling sex life all wrapped around and delivered through advanced communication strategies.

  Also:  why The Platinum Rule is way better than The Golden Rule when it comes to relationships.

• How to Breathe New Life Into Your Relationship

  Are you in an alive, vibrant relationship? Or are you just in a habit?
  
  It is my belief - and my experience - that any relationship can be transformed and new life can be breathed into it if at least one person in the relationship is committed to it, and both are at least willing and open to the idea.
  
  And the reason that most relationships fail is that one or both parties are living in the past - in their heads - dwelling on some wrong or some injury and harboring resentments without clearing that out.
  
  Relationships begin to die in the unsaid.

#RelationshipPostmortem

• What To Do Once You Choose to End It

  Once you have made the courageous choice to end it, there are several critical things you must do.

  • Grieve and take time to mine the treasure trove of learning and growth
  • Reclaim your power and yourself without vilifying the other person
  • Set yourself up to uplevel yourself and therefore your next relationship

   

• How To Use The Pain For Your Own Growth

  How are you responsible? What can you learn? What areas of development do you need to take on? What was revealed that you still need to heal from both that relationship or even previous relationships - all the way back to parental imprints if that be the case ...

• How to Make Sure Your Next Love is Even More Fulfilling

  Consciously designing and manifesting your next lover or partner.

  • What did you love about your last partner that you want again in the future?
  • What was missing? What additional qualities and characteristics do you want in your future partner and your future relationship?
  • Where did you get triggered in the past - so that you can clear out those triggers?
  • Begin again with #RelationshipGenesis

The Evolutionary Guide®

Jason D. McClain

This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
775-2-EVOLVE
(775-238-6583)

Book A Free Relationship Assessment Call With Jason

Evolutionary NLP Certification Training

2025 Spring - Summer 

Advanced tools for coaches, healers, and professional communicators

Course Curriculum

• March 8th and 9th | Fundamentals

  • Categories: Skills, Techniques & Processes, Principles
  • Necessary Elements for Change
  • Ecology and Ethics - using NLP with someone, not on someone
  • NLP Presuppositions - Modeling wisdom across the ages
  • Neuro-Logical Levels - “where to tap”
  • Sensory acuity - sharpening your focus and awareness
    • Pattern recognition
    • Noticing difference
  • Hallucination vs sensory-based information

• April 12, 13 | Rapport and Perceptual Positions

  • Non-verbal rapport
  • Developing multiple perspectives
  • Metacognition
  • Anchoring - mastering the dial-up of transient states
  • Marketing uses
  • Internal representation systems - the ultimate map of your interiors
    • VAK
    • Timelines
  • Eye Accessing Cues
  • Intro to Parts Model

• May 10, 11 | Language Models

  • Meta Model: a set of tools to eliminate ambiguity, increasing clarity and reducing misunderstandings by recovering the deleted or  generalized information from language.
  • Quantum Linguistics:  A set of linguistic tools to dissolve limiting beliefs.
  • Milton Model: Hypnotic Language patterns modeled after Milton Erickson (yes, namesake of the school of Ericksonian Hypnosis) providing you with the ability to communicate more abstractly for the purpose of alignment, agreement and negotiation.
    Also the lubrication on the gears of any change or transformational process.

• June 14, 15 | Sub-modalities

  Humans don’t experience reality, we experience our internal representations of reality coded in the modalities of pictures, sounds, feelings smells, and tastes (V.A.K.o.g.; visual, auditory, kinesthetic, olfactory, gustatory). Submodalities are the finer distinctions within each of the sense codings that allow you to have superhuman control over emotions, imprints from the past, affording you mastery over your experience.

  
  Like NEO navigating the Matrix.

• July 12, 13 | Self-Esteem, Ego, Self-Imagery, Integral Theory

  No judgment is more impactful than the judgment you pass on yourself. Your esteem for yourself is your immune system for life. True self-esteem is knowledge of your efficacy and feeling worthy of receiving. The first is about results, feedback, the practical.. The second portion is about your worth - accepting your divinity, that you are worthy of receiving.

  For entrepreneurs, there is no single more important thing on which to focus. For healthy relationships, there is no single more important thing on which to focus. For your general happiness, there is no single more important thing on which to focus.
  
  Stage Conceptions: stages of moral development, stages of ego development, a la, Ken Wilber, Dr Clare Graves, Gene Gebser, Lawrence Kohlberg and Carol Gilligan, et. al.,

  Discover how to accelerate movement through the stages to create a better world.

• August 9, 10 | Negotiation, Parts, Conflict Resolution, and Sales

  1. Parts Model as an elegant and advanced negotiation model
  2. Ethical sales models
  3. Parts integrations and Core transformation
  4. Assumptive closes

• September 13, 14 | Closing Weekend

  This weekend, we cover anything not yet covered, any application questions students have, we'll demo anything that the participants want to see again, and in general, whatever the class participants desire plus extensive Q & A and application examples or situational client scenarios.

• Standardized Processes Taught In the Course

  • Releasing Emotional Enmeshment
  • Timeline Clearing
  • Grief Resolution 
  • Circle of Excellence
  • Visual Swish
  • Mapping Submodalities
  • Parts Integration
  • Core Transformation
  • Creating Your Future
  • Parental Re-Imprinting

What is NLP?

Frequently Asked Questions

Well I have to memorize the processes? Do I have to do it all from memory?

No. This is an open book test. We want you to get it right. We don’t want you to memorize things by rote. There will be scripts I have honed over 25 years for some of the processes, so we want you to follow those until you get so masterful at them, they aren't needed anymore.

I myself in sessions with clients have pulled out a process that I’m unfamiliar with and read it from a book. I just let them know that’s what’s going to happen because it’s not a process I do very often.

There’s no shame in that. The shame would be being too insecure to say that and just be honest.

And that’s one of the many reasons we have a whole weekend dedicated to self-esteem and ego - which is something else you won't find in any other training.

I have a coaching certification. Do I really need an NLP certification or NLP training?

In my experience, if you are a certified coach you definitely will benefit from NLP training as well. Not only does it demystify so much but it will also give you access to ways to affect rapid transformational change in your clients. Really, it will be the difference between you having a two-dimensional coaching orientation and having a massive magical effect on your clients and them enjoying even more incredible results in their lives. There is nothing more effective and elegant at removing blocks than NLP.

May I attend only some of the weekends?

Of course, you may attend on some weekends.

However, the price of the course is still the same - the weekends are not sold separately. Additionally, if you want to get certified there is an attendance requirement: you are only allowed to miss three weekends and still get certified. Even then, missing 3 would make it very difficult for you because the material is rich and dense.

However, the weekends will be recorded on video and audio for your use, so you can watch the video and catch up with your practice group.

What is NLP?

NLP is the study of the structure of your subjective experience - understanding with ever-increasing efficacy how to navigate and optimize your internal structures to improve your results in life. 

It is also the study of human excellence and as such, it also includes a collection of processes - a body of work - modeled out over decades for rapid healing and transformation

What Are The Certification Requirements?

Attendance and competence:

You have to

• Attend 5 of the 7 weekends.
• Participate in at least one practice group per month with other students in the training
• And at the end of the training, you need to be able to take a mock client through an entire NLP session which means:

1. Establish rapport with the client
2. Outcome elicitation
3. Demonstrate the ability to invoke a "problem state"
4. Appropriate selection of NLP process you have learned in the training to address problem state
5. Guiding the client through the process successfully leaving them in a new resourceful state
6. Future-pacing new behavior or response to help them integrate the change

Throughout, you will need to maintain rapport and demonstrate respect for the ecology of the human you are in service of.

Is the training strictly NLP or is focused on NLP in the context of Evolutionary Development - I know you use it in your work?

This is not just an NLP Training. You will get the skills of an NLP Practitioner, the understanding of an NLP Master Practitioner, but because I have been studying Integral Theory for over two decades - and been a follower of Ken Wilber's work for even longer - I fit NLP within the AQAL framework presented in Integral Theory - with a particular focus on the Self developmental line. So we talk about things like Spiral Dynamics, ego development which those such as Jean Gebser and stages of consciousness, Carol Gilligan and Lawrence Kohlberg and their work on stages of female moral development, and most importantly for our world, Clare W. Graves and his work that was later popularized in Spiral Dynamics.

And then how NLP fits within these frameworks and how we can use is to accelerate the evolution of consciousness through these stages to build a better, more conscious world.

Why would I want to get certified with you versus another trainer?

No. We are not, and we think that is better for you. 

In addition to the answers above, I have been a certified NLP Master Practitioner and Trainer since 1995 - twenty-five years now. And I have used it in service of over 500 clients 1 on 1 in the last 15 years - which is how long I have been in the coaching and transformational business full-time.

So not only do I have excellent training, but I have over 25 years of experience of using it in the real world, and 15 professionally - so there is almost no client situation I could not help you with by drawing on that experience.

Also, I have plenty of other experience in other transformational approaches - from Landmark to vipassana meditation - so you will get a deep and more well-rounded training with me - as well as the Integral Theory piece, which no one else is doing to my knowledge.
We bring a combined 45 years of training and development to bear in service of your desires and outcomes for the course. That means we'll be able to serve you in deep and unpredictable ways. 

If that terrifies you, this may not be the course for you. 

By the same token - if that excites you - quit f*cking around: register for the course now.

Will I have to practice outside of the training? Or maybe a better way to word it is 'what are the time commitments outside of course weekends'?”

The first answer is yes; you’ll have to practice outside of the training. But 2 hours each month outside the training isn't much.

The second answer to this question is outside of the certification requirements, how good do you want to become?

My mentors told me that the reason I was so good so quickly is that I practiced with any human who was willing. Somebody said that they were experiencing anything at limited them in there life? I asked them if they would like to change that. An emotion, a belief, an internal conflict, or a habit or addiction? I would ask them, “would you like to change that”?

And I would just tell him I was practicing and learning advanced mental technologies and would they be willing to come over to my house and I would practice with them and they might get some free transformation out of it.

The more you practice the better you will get. These are physical skills.

A lot of people think that communication skills and advanced skills like this are not physical skills but they are. That means they take practice. It takes repetition. The more you practice the better you will get.

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Purpose and Polarity

Evolutionary Gentleman Training, Level 1

Course Curriculum

Upcoming Courses & Writing

• 

  Evolutionary NLP Certification Training v5

  2021 Dates To Be Release

  Read more

• 

  Purpose and Polarity

  Evolutionary Gentleman Training
  Level 1
  
  February 18, 19

  Read more

• 

  Evolutionary Relationships

  Read book excerpts at the link below.
  
  2021 Book Release Date To Be Announced.

  Read more

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2022  12-Week Relationship Makeover

Program Modules

• September 21st | Emotional Fitness

  Getting complete with the past - whether you are single or want to create a new relationship with the same partner.

  • Grief
  • Resentments
  • Blame and responsibility

• September 28th | Emotional Fitness | Part 2

  • Releasing Emotional Enmeshments and co-dependence
  • Moving from vilification to appreciation 

• October 5th | Relationship Models

  • Consciously Designing Your Relationship
  • Society and culture
  • Values and Forms

• October 12th | Relationship Models | Part 2

  • Parental Imprints

• October 19th | Agreements for Healthy Relating

  • What they are
  • What they require
  • How to have the conversation
  • How to apply them
  • How to reboot any relationship with them

• October 26th | Conflict Resolution

  • Clean communication
    • Sarcasm, joking, and the impact on turnon
  • Fighting Clean
  • The power of requests
  • Safety, trust, and truth

• November 2nd | Secrets to Phenomenal Dating

  If you are in a relationship now and think, "but we are not dating anymore" that's the problem right there.

  • Attention
  • Desire
  • Curiosity
  • Appreciation

• November 9th | Secrets to Phenomenal Dating | Part 2

  • Boundaries
  • Expectations and attachment
  • Receiving

• November 16th | Sexy Time

  • Shame
  • Consent
  • Negotiating Boundaries

• November 23rd | Sexy Time | Part 2

  • Adventurousness
  • Curiosity
  • Playfulness
  • Communicating needs and giving feedback
    • Directing without controlling
  • STIs for the singles and the multi-partnered

• November 30th | Emotional Intimacy and Depth

  • Feeling worthy
  • Vulnerability, surrender, openness

• December 7th | Autonomy Maintaining Sovereignty

  • Emotional Autonomy - Secure Attachment
  • Financial Autonomy and "Mad Money"
  • Being willing to reach out and get help and support
  • Reclaiming your sovereignty 

Frequently Asked Questions

No. This course is both for people who are in relationships and for singles who want to be in a relationship. 

This course is only for anyone who identifies as a woman or feels safe in containers designed for women.

If you are interested in this course and identify as a man, we are happy to work with you 1:1, or if there is sufficient interest, we will design a course for men.

No.

This course will help you work through the emotional blocks that are keeping you from having your ideal relationship and teach you relationship and communication styles, that once implemented, can transform your relationships. We offer you the tools, skills, mindsets, and frameworks. It is up to you to apply them to your relationships and/or to use them to create a fulfilling relationship.

What the program will do is create the conditions within you that make it far more likely for you to find, attract, and keep your ideal partner.

No. We are not, and we think that is better for you. 

Rather than sell you on the illusion that you can have what two people who are in love have and have that glow influence your decision to join us, rather we are two individuals who bring a vast amount of experience and insight in the personal development realm to bear on relationships for you and serve you with that - and with your desired vision for the future in your relationships.

Mariah Rossel

Jason D McClain

Digital Courses and Products (links lead to sales pages on Jason's Kajabi site)

• 

  Breaking Free From Anxiety and Depression: $197

  Break Free From Anxiety and Depression with this comprehensive 6-week Program. 

  Read more

• 

  Presentation Mastery Digital Course : $497

  For professional communicators, workshop leaders, speakers, trainers, and course facilitators.

  Read more

• 

  Relationships: Evolved

  A Relationship Tour de Force for the Conscious Man

  Learn about the course

Connect With Jason

Bios

Follow Jason

• linkedin
• facebook

12-Week Evolutionary Gentleman Training

What You Will Learn & Discover:

• April 11th | Getting Over Your Bullshit

  The most basic thing that gets in the way of deep connection is being in your head about the past - past events, past relationships, and  ... women in your past.

  It's also the #2 complaint from women: "he talks about his ex too much".
  
  Getting complete with the past - whether you are single or want to "clean slate" a relationship with the same woman is critical.

  And if you harbor resentments about women in your past - or women in general - she will smell that coming off you like you just got sprayed by a skunk and she will be repelled.

  Get cleaned up - get fit - by getting complete with your past so you are able to connect with her in the moment - be fully present with her.

  Because nothing is more attractive to a woman than your exquisite attention.

• April 18th |Getting Over Your Bullshit | Part 2

  Get clear so you can have juicer, hotter connections.

  • Resentments
  • Grief
    Releasing Emotional Entanglements 
  • Moving from vilification to appreciation of the feminine

• April 25th | Relationship Models

  Not only CAN you design your relationship - in this day and age you must.

  Get clarity and get everything you want - and get rid of the guessing games and assumptions so you don't waste time with a woman who is not a fit - and design your life so you can have everything you want.

  • Consciously Designing Your Relationship
  • The role of society and culture
  • Values and Forms

• May 2nd | Relationship Models | Part 2

  Become conscious of the role of unconscious parental influences - and free yourself from them increasing your choice, freedom, and flexibility.

• May 9th | Agreements for Clean Relating and Communication

  Sick of bullshit drama? Or being broadsided by weird "you should've known"s? 
  
  This cuts right through that.
  
  Foundational agreements

  • What they are
  • What they require
  • How to have the conversation
  • How to apply them
  • How to reboot any relationship with them

  This framework alone can transform any relationship - and make sure the same tedious crap you keep dealing with becomes a thing of the past and you can focus on what really matters: the connection.
  
  

• May 16th | Conflict Resolution

  Discover pitfalls most guys fall into that kill her sexual desire. Pitfalls you can easily avoid. Discover communication strategies to get more of what you want - and have her flush with desire as well as conflict resolution tools to quickly and cleanly move through conflict and upset so you can get back into connection. 

  • Clean communication
    • Sarcasm, joking, and the impact on turn on
  • Fighting Clean
  • The power of requests
  • Safety, trust, and skillful truth

• May 23rd | Secrets to Wooing Her

  If you are in a relationship now and think, "but we are not dating anymore", that's your first problem right there.

  Learn how to keep her swooning for you - and falling for you - over and over again.

  • Attention
  • Desire
  • Curiosity
  • Appreciation

  Also, solve the "I don't know - wherever you want to eat" problem that seems to keep men up at night - or gives them nightmares - or PTSD flashbacks.
  
  Really, this one's an easy solve and is probably worth the price of the course all on its own.

• May 30th | Secrets to Wooing Her | Part 2

  Discover how to avoid building resentment by having clear boundaries. The art of saying "no" so she can trust your yes, and how to build in ease and build tension and attraction simultaneously.
  
  Also:

  • Boundaries
  • Expectations and attachment
  • Receiving

• June 6th | Bedroom Artistry

  We'll give you secrets to her extended pleasure that will have her blissfully gasping, "how do you do that?!"
  
  But the first step is to become more embodied, quickly followed by being conscious of other emotional and interpersonal dynamics that are necessary to navigate.
  
  And that all begins with:

  • Becoming Shame-Free
  • Creating Safety and Trust
  • Consent
  • Negotiating & Navigating Boundaries
    
    

• June 13th | Down and Dirty

  How to build in increasing levels of fun and intensity so she never gets bored - while still being responsible.

  • Adventurousness
  • Curiosity
  • Playfulness
  • Communicating needs and giving feedback
    • Directing without controlling
  • STIs for the singles and the multi-partnered

• June 20th | Emotional Intimacy and Depth

  You've seen it everywhere - women in TV shows and movies saying "just tell me what's going on; I can handle anything if you just share it with me."
  
  They want you to let them in and when you don't - if you are present without being present - they start to make stuff up in their minds. Stuff that is easily dissipated if you just tell her the truth about your inner life.
  
  But beyond that authentically sharing how you feel about her and about your experience can be an incredible aphrodisiac and she will flourish in your acknowledgments and flush with turn on in the light of your truth.

  But there is no strategy or framework for that. It's about being at ease enough with yourself and solid enough within yourself that you don't even think of it as "vulnerable" to share vulnerable things.

  It's a way of being and a stage of development. 

  The truth is a turn-on. It can also be comforting.

  Everybody wins.

  This training module will help you get there.

• June 27th | Autonomy and Maintaining Sovereignty

  Avoid the pitfall of slowly eroding your masculine core - and if you already fell into that - how to get your balls back without being a jerk.
  
  

  • Emotional Autonomy - Secure Attachment
  • Financial Autonomy
  • Being willing to reach out and get help and support
  • Reclaiming your sovereignty 

Mariah Rossel

Jason D McClain

Frequently Asked Questions

Is this only for people in relationships?

No. This course is both for men who are in a relationship and want to breathe new life into it and for men who are single and want to make sure they uplevel their next relationship.

Is this course available for couples?

Nope. This course is for men only. However, if you are a woman and your male partner is considering this course and you want to share a common language OR if you are a woman who sees the value in our work, we have a women's course - the 12-Week Relationship Makeover - you can register for »here«.

Will this course help me attract the women of my dreams?

This course will help you work through the blocks that are keeping you from having your ideal relationship and teach you relationship and communication skills, that, once implemented, can transform your relationships.

We offer you the tools, skills, mindsets, and frameworks. It is up to you to apply them to your relationships and/or to use them to create a fulfilling relationship.

What the program will do is create the conditions within you that make it far more likely for you to find, attract, and keep the woman of your dreams. Or ... help you "clean slate" your relationship so you can get back to that place when you thought the woman you are with WAS the woman of your dreams.

I’ve seen a lot of couples who are in relationships offer relationship courses. Are you and Jason in a relationship?

No. We are not, and we think that is better for you. 

Rather than sell you on the illusion that you can have what two people who are in love have - and have that glow influence your decision to join the course - we are two individuals who bring a vast amount of experience, training, and insight in personal development to bear on relationships. Not to mention our depth and range of experience in masculine and feminine dynamics.

We bring a combined 45 years of training and development to bear in service of your desires and outcomes for the course. That means we'll be able to serve you in deep and unpredictable ways. 

If that terrifies you, this may not be the course for you. 

By the same token - if that excites you - quit f*cking around: register for the course now.

I can't attend all of the evening sessions. Can I still participate?

Yes. Absolutely. All of the sessions will be recorded for course participant use and viewing. There will also be coursework to do on your own time between the weekly zoom sessions. So you can miss a live session or two and still get incredible value from the course. We will also be using the Slack app for messaging with course participants, so you can stay connected and ask questions at any time during the course.

Testimonials

Mark Michael Lewis, Founder Beautiful Profit Consulting

"Jason has taught me a lot about masculinity over the last 2 decades +. Much of my world and perspective around The New Masculine is growth from seeds he planted in my mind. In Deida's terms, Jason brings some serious "Stage 3" game. You can always count on Jason to bring an edge to the conversation - sometimes a scalpel, other times an ax - sometimes subtle, other times subtle as a heart attack - sometimes like play, other times like an assault - always cutting to the heart of the matter. Men: if you want to bring out your woman's sexual depth and passion, her good girl or bad girl, her slut, her adoration - watch and learn from Jason. He isn't safe. He's effective."

John Dalpe, CEO, RTR Ventures

"McClain is my secret weapon in all the pivotal areas of my business and relationships.

"I have been blessed to have trained and worked with some major players in the personal development field. Jason is ethical, powerful, and incredibly effective. Watching him at work is like watching Barry Bonds taking batting practice."

Aaron Pava, Technologist

"Good instructors have expertise in their field, and Great instructors have the skills to transfer mastery to their students. Extraordinary instructors like Jason can do both, and make it fun all the while. Jason McClain is a brilliant teacher and unparalleled in his knowledge."

Sydney Culver

“Jason is truly an evolutionary gentleman. His communication is direct, honest, and clean, while also being highly attuned and caring. I never have to guess where he stands, nor is any communication left dangling or incomplete. His masculine presence is undeniable in all interactions and my feminine is always at ease in his company.”

Nicola D’Alonzo

“With a massive heart and a brilliant mind, Jason delivers the truth with potency and care. It’s a rare combination, but Jason is a true gentleman in response to life. If you are looking to evolve your own consciousness through relationship, he will deliver a chivalrous and edifying experience. His mastery of evolved relating is evident, while his years of experience with understanding how humans move into their greatness shines.”

Kaela Valdes

“The unique thing about Jason McClain that stands out in the world of relationship and polarity coaches is he is so deeply masculine yet is so pro-female and pro-feminine. I feel safe around him in ways that are new, unusual, and difficult to describe. There is a healing that comes with this sense of security. Healing areas that I didn’t recognize were bruised. I’m left strengthened and empowered. With a deep sense of well-being. I’m more attuned to an abundant sense of gratitude within myself that evokes a clarity and joy that is magnetizing. I have never been more in tune with my Divine Feminine.”

Melissa Gilbert

“What first drew me to Jason McClain was his complete devotion to evolution—his own and others. I quickly realized that what he is offering would not only help me expand my capacity to relate with my lover but also my work and community.“Jason pushes the boundaries of what’s possible between men and women and moves people beyond limited perspectives and false narratives. What shines brightly through his vast study of the mind/body and profound comfort with his own masculinity is a deep love of humanity and evolution of the species.”

Your Facilitators

Digital Courses and Products (links lead to sales pages on Jason's Kajabi site)

• 

  Breaking Free From Anxiety and Depression: $197

  Break Free From Anxiety and Depression with this comprehensive 6-week Program. 

  Read more

• 

  Presentation Mastery Digital Course : $497

  For professional communicators, workshop leaders, speakers, trainers, and course facilitators.

  Read more

• 

  Relationships: Evolved

  A Relationship Tour de Force for the Conscious Man

  Learn about the course

Connect With Jason

Bios

Follow Jason

• linkedin
• facebook

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