Skip to main content

Evolutionary Blog

Distinctions to accelerate your personal and professional evolution

Agreements for Healthy Relating | Agreement 1: Truth Over Comfort

JasonMcClain_BrandingShoot_-11_20200410-174036_1

The Agreements

From Chance to Wisdom 

In my experience, there are four agreements that are necessary as foundations for any healthy relationship regardless of the context - meaning it doesn't matter if it's a professional context, if it's friendship, or if it's sexual, intimate, and romantic.

In fact the more intimate it is the more important I think these agreements are, but unfortunately - and paradoxically - the less likely someone is to actually be willing to have the conversation that’s required. That's for many reasons, most of them self-esteem issues are at their source and fear-based.

Let me explain: If we are attached to the hope that someone will like us, to the degree that it becomes a need for their approval and therefore induces fear in ourselves, and/or we have scarcity around whether or not we will actually find somebody who is a fit, or whether or not we can find someone else if a relationship does not work out, we have a tendency to overlook things that we know are important to address because if the person doesn't like us then we may take that personally in the case of a self-esteem issue, or we don't want to set up any barriers to them liking us or connecting with us.

But in doing so, we skip over critical foundational steps - and virtually assure we end up with someone who is not a fit or find ourselves in a conflict without the agreement reality as to how we find our way out of it and get back into connection.

So we ignore wisdom in favor of the immediacy of false connection - so as to not "rock the boat". At its worst, of course, this borders on codependency and external validation and that a path that if you continue down that road leads to frustration, heartache, and worse.

However if we have an abundance mindset - a certainty that there are plenty of people out there who might be a fit for us - and fit is more important than not being alone - we understand that it's easier to find somebody who's a fit that it is to deal with the frustration and challenges and eventual heartbreak of someone who is not a fit, and we are internally validated in terms of our esteem for ourselves, then we choose wisdom over chance.

The reality is we are actually choosing wisdom and communication over something much worse than chance: predictably negative results.

When do I open the conversation for these agreements?  Usually after a successful first date.

Some people may fret at this moment - and they are worried it is too late - they already skipped over these agreements and find themselves in the quagmire of shoulds and implicit agreements and unstated yet clear expectations you never agreed to. That can be an icky and frustrating place.

But don’t fret: you can transform any relationship - or “reboot” or - or start over from scratch and begin to date someone again - you can use the agreements as a way to transform friendships - I have. I have used the agreements and the conversation around them to bring years-long friendships back to life.

We’ll talk about skillful means - how most effectively to do that - after we lay out the agreements and flesh them out fully.


The Agreements

Four Foundational Agreements For Healthy Relating

  1. We tell the truth and we hear the truth and we value truth over comfort
  2. We do not hold anyone accountable to agreements they have not made
  3. If we are upset, we make a request (for a new agreement)
  4. We accept that we are responsible for our own experience and our own emotions.
    1. Make no assumptions
    2. Don’t make anything up

Let’s examine each of these agreements fully.

Agreement 1:  Truth Over Comfort

The first agreement is that we tell the truth and we hear the truth and we value truth over comfort. 

The “comfort” might be our own, or it may be the comfort of others.

Here is an excellent standard: if we are afraid to say it - or afraid that somebody can’t hear it or might take it personally - that’s probably the very thing that should be said. 

And as I am sure you have experienced, the longer we delay the telling of that truth, the bigger it becomes in our mind and the worse it will be when we tell them - for the relating, for our internal anxiousness around sharing it, and for them when they find out how long we delayed; telling the truth brings relief for all without delay. There may be broken agreements to clean up - something we will address later on in this book, but that aside, telling the truth should increase intimacy and connection. 

Hearing the truth - if done openly and spaciously - always will.

Telling the truth is not an excuse to be a jerk.

There is a popular theme in some circles where someone is a jerk (that is a technical term) and they finish it off (or begin it) with “I am just speaking my truth”.

That is not in alignment with the spirit of this rule - because most often “speaking your truth”  is just being self-indulgent. The spirit of this rule is to increase intimacy and to increase connection. Thus, we want to tell the truth with skillful means - meaning in a way that honors both ourselves, yet delivered in a way the other person is best able to receive it.  As well as caring for the relating or the relationship - the 3rd entity that is created by the synergy of the two of you.

Why is this so important?  Relationships begin to die in the unsaid.

The grass isn't always greener on the other side of the fence; the grass is always greener where it is tended to, cared for, and nurtured.

If there is enough unsaid in the relationship, you are not even relating to the human in front of you anymore - you are relating to all the stuff you have not said, or do not think you can say - and that shows up as being distracted, shut down, simply not present, or simply being silent. So instead of relating to the dynamic and vibrant human in front of you, you are simply in your head about … all the things. 

That build-up - that residue - kills true intimacy.

And yet, telling the truth and hearing the truth are - at the very least - very different sets of capacities. 

That can not be overstated - and as I have said over and over again, communication skills are physical skills that take practice - and these component skills definitely take a lot of practice.

To start with, telling the truth can take a lot of courage. Hearing the truth takes openness and, at times, a willingness to hear feedback and truths that are difficult to hear. 

And the list goes on - on both sides.

But imagine telling the truth about something - something you are scared to share about yourself - and having your partner thank you, express gratitude for trusting them to share it with them, and acknowledge you for the courage that it took and to express that they trust you even more now - and to do it without judgment - with love and acceptance. 

Continue reading
  3741 Hits

The Necessary Spiritual Awakening of the Evolutionary Gentleman

There (hopefully) comes a point in every human’s life when they have a post-conventional sexual unfolding. When they long for depth and settle for nothing less than a full body-mind-spirit connection with our lovers. This is, of course, even more true for an Evolutionary Gentleman. It is a necessary aspect of how he relates to himself, women, and intimate sexual connection.
 
What do I mean by a “post-conventional sexual unfolding”?
 
As always, a brief summary of developmental stage conceptions is useful here. As we evolve through stages - unfold more of our depths - we experience ourselves and the world in different ways; we react from and interpret through certain perspectives.
 
From pre-personal to personal to trans-personal. From egocentric to ethno/natio-centric to world-centric. From rigid to flexible to fluid. From being emotionally stuck to having emotional choice to being emotionally free. From vengeance to justice to grace. Stages of increased wholeness, stages of increasing inclusivity, stages of increased facility and personal freedom.
 
How we relate to sex and intimacy is no different.
 
From subject-object sex to transactional sex to deeply spiritual and intimate union. It’s important to note that we all start where we all start and we can not skip over stages. To do so would be the worst kind of bypass. We must explore the stage fully, satisfy our hunger there, navigate it for long enough until we realize its inherent limitations and lack of depth before we embrace the deeper level - transcending yet including the benefits of the stage while shedding the drawbacks.
 
In hetero-normative romantic relationships, it moves from us vs them (men’s “team” and women’s “team”) to man-woman partnership to masculine-feminine divine union.
 
My own awakening came 25 years ago. There was a time in my life where I was very fortunate to have been able to have a long period of extended discerning promiscuity. I had a new lover about every 10 days for about a year - and none of them were one-night stands. They usually lasted at least a weekend or a few weeks. I was doing it openly and ethically even then - I would let the woman know before we had any intimate contact what I was available for and what I was not so I was being responsible with them and making sure no one felt led on or misled. I can tell you that on more than one occasion that conversation - which I considered an emotional consent conversation - was too intense for some and many wondered why we were even talking about it, but none chose to opt-out as a result.
 
Truth, openness, transparency, and giving others choice has always been something that I value, and I will never regret that. BUT … my point is, I had a high volume of lovers through my bed during this period.
 
It took me less than a year to realize the spiritual bankruptcy of this. Feel its emptiness. Its lack of meaning and connection. Its lack of depth and intimacy.
 
And I still remember the exact moment.
 
It was 3 or 4 am, and I was sitting on my bathroom floor with these two lovely brunettes, and for the last few hours I had done everything a man could want to do with two women - and I looked at them both with their heads in my lap - and at that moment ... I was bored.
I felt the ache of the lack of love - even if I deeply appreciated them and was fond of them.
 
That’s when I knew this phase had run its course and I was done with that kind of sexual shenanigans.
 
I encourage every man (and woman for that matter) to have these experiences until they are full - until they are satiated and feel into the emptiness. It is not something you can skip over and still have healthy personal spiritual evolution.
 
For men, this can show up as denying their desires and the pseudo-spirituality that shows up as being cut off from the diaphragm down. Or - say - having an aversion to the words c*ck and/or p*ssy (maybe they don’t call them “dirty” but they still judge them as “bad because they are [supposedly] not spiritual”. PSSST: it is “transcend and include” not transcend and deny or suppress or transcend by bypassing. Transcend and include. You don’t stop having fun, uninhibited sex, you just have more range with the kind of sex you have and you are more discerning with who you have it with.
 
For men, this can even have a positive effect on premature ejaculation and/or erectile dysfunction. At least some of which is psychological, and for the former, the “oh my gosh, I am actually having sex!” excitement can lead to the unpredictable timing of his issue spewing forth.
 
But, having moved through these stages, and with the full integration of your body - mechanical, physical, technique, touch - and your mind - connection, values, cognitive compatibility, communication - to spiritual - bring all the previous forward but adding depth, presence, openness, and unfettered intimacy - he may find that he is not even fully erect the first, second, or even third time they make love. But his turnon and excitement for his love and his lover grow more intensely over time, increase with their connection and emotional intimacy and grow as they engage as spiritual beings on every plane.
 
In my experience, it is important to recognize each step, stage, wave, and ring of depth as important - and to experience each of them fully - not denying or suppressing them or aspects of them (that just leads to a splintered, disowned self and creates shadow along the way) to accept and embrace each one fully, appreciating the process, and loving the very self even while you are in an infinite unfolding.
 
This is the path of any Evolutionary.
 
And in this context, it is - most certainly - part of the path of the Evolutionary Gentleman.

  1465 Hits

Cults | Also: Practitioner and Coach Categories and Types

broadcast-soundwaves

Someone asked me if I had watched "The Deep End" - the documentary about Teal Swan. I had never heard of her. I watched the trailer and as soon as I heard her speak, I knew she was full of sh*t. Took me 5-10 seconds.

Then I had someone tell me the kinds of things she has people engage in and I was disgusted. after stating what I saw as the positive purpose of the exercise, I broke down for the person the dynamics and meta-structures of what she was up to in those instances and why one should not do that to participants, and how it is actually counter-productive.

But this is not about her - it is about cults and cult-like communities in general, many of which are far worse and include a lot more systemic pathology. And the exposure of some of them in recent years ... has me thinking about cults and coaches and politics and just how and why people fall for these people, be they gurus or politicians. Which got me thinking about the transformation industry in general.

I try to spend as little time as possible thinking about the coaching and practitioner industry. That might seem strange since I have been in it for so long (full-time since 2004), but honestly, the more I am exposed to it, the more I find myself recoiling. Maybe it is what I perceive as a lack of depth in the industry, or - as a meme one friend sent me the other day said, “God, please give me the confidence of a 25-year-old life coach”. But in contemplating it - and in noticing trends over the 30 years I have been engaged in transformational communities, I have distinguished a few “types”.

These are off the top of my head, so I am open - and welcome - any feedback, comments, or additions. Or for you to share your own experience in encountering these or other categories of “coach”.

✨✨✨✨

🔮The Regurgitator: they parrot the thing they just read, heard, or learned in a workshop and they get it all over everyone. Very little precision, and it often feels very gross (vs subtle) and like a blunt instrument. A lot of projection may be involved. You can contort yourself to see how it fits, but it really has little to do with what is happening for you or your desired outcomes (if they even asked you about that). They also have little apply-to-self or self-reflection. 

🔮The Mentor: they have vast experience in one area and teach others how they succeeded (sometimes often after a lot of trial and error or at least one major failure).

🔮The Technician: They are very skilled in a very narrow area - one modality - and it is the only lens they view things through, they are, however, very competent at that one thing.

🔮The Mindset Master: They really have one primary tool: linguistic or perspective reframes. “If you just think about it differently, you’ll feel better”. While this is true - and critical for day-to-day happiness and an integral part of developing facility with self, the problem with this one is if used as the only tool - or over-applied - it often steps over somatic feelings and emotional build-up that will need to eventually be cleared out - and in doing so they stack up in their body and may lead to a massive meltdown of sadness or depression later on. The deeper thing needs to be addressed and often goes unaddressed so they are engaging in bypass or what I heard recently may be termed as “toxic positivity”.

🔮The Synthesizer: they consume all forms of personal development and likely have for some time and then come up with their own version that is an amalgamation or an integration - or new material entirely that builds on what came before. They are also very good at pulling from that experience and applying it at a more individual level for people - choosing the approach or modality that will best serve them in the presenting context at that time. There is both depth and breadth.

🔮The Guru: This one seems to have deep spiritual knowledge and has adoring followers. Their followers' eyes glaze over when they talk about them as if they are under a spell. Sometimes it is unclear what specific value they bring or if the followers integrate the teachings into their lives. People often fall in love with them and at some point, their illusions are shattered and they become very disillusioned. As much as they were in love with them is the degree to which they will now have disdain for them.

The benefit, of course, is the feelings of community and acceptance the student experiences with other followers and the shared experience. Until, of course, the inevitable descent into pathology or cult-like dynamics. Over 80% of them seem to engage in sexual misconduct at some point.

I have a theory that the larger a transformational community becomes, the more it tends toward pathology even if the leader is pure in intention, teaching, and their own personal ethics.

🔮The Scam Artist: This speaks for itself. Some of them just see a way to make money and do not even see themselves as scamming people, but are usually very entitled, charge above market rates for their services out of the gate with little experience, and may even encourage a “wish list” purchase, etc. (like a dominatrix or escort would), including tools for their business they could and should ethically purchase themselves. Often they do month-to-month agreements instead of extended offerings because they either do not have the energetic capacity to hold someone over several months, or are not competent enough to continue with a client beyond the quick sale of the 1-month agreement. Maybe it’s a side gig. One of many. They also get a dopamine hit from being in a position of authority in someone’s life, no matter how fleeting or temporary that may be - and they often come from that place, not from a place of serving their client in achieving their outcomes.

They don’t last long, thankfully.

🔮Professional Scam Artists: Megachurch preachers, Trump, et al. Grifters and con artists all of them. Praying on the old and the feeble-minded.

🔮The Hobbyist: “I give my friends advice all the time, I may as well get paid for it!”. Enough said.

✨There is also the therapist turned coach, which is always interesting - and of great value for some.

✨And on the other end of the spectrum, the young sex worker turned coach (but in a different context). The challenge there is they bring a lot of the dynamics from their previous offerings into the business of coaching and that does not translate well professionally or inter-personally. They essentially have to re-learn business.

--

If you are interested in becoming a clean and skillful practitioner (or a synthesizer) attend my next practitioner certification training. Full details about that training are »here«. If you are curious about working with me one-on-one, schedule an initial conversation »here« to have a conversation and we will discover if we might be a fit or not.


  364 Hits

Purpose, Service, Offerings, Path, Upcoming NLP Training

nlp-training-prism

I’ve been in this business a long time. Over 18 years now. But recently someone I knew and followed me on social media reached out to me and was not even sure if I even still engaged in one-on-one work.

Of course, I do. Of course, I am.

But that indicated to me I needed to reach out to you and just review the past and mention an upcoming training as well.

-

At some point, I was called to purpose in a way that had me know in my bones that there was nothing for me to do but be in service of others evolving.

Engaging in it professionally began in 2004, and while it took me a couple of years of making all the mistakes one can make in this particular business I finally figured it out or “cracked the code” if you will in 2006 which was my first 6-figure year in this business.

After 18 years and after guiding well over 500 clients through 6-month programs, I thought it might be time to re-introduce myself as a lot of people following me here have only seen a slice of my work as my focus shifted to relationships and relating and I have received a lot of feedback lately around how people perceive my work. Many - an odd number - think I only work with men. And recently someone called me a “relationship expert”. I openly laughed at that and responded: I am not sure there even is such a thing as a “relationship expert”.

Also, hilariously, a client I recently signed from here on Facebook reached out and asked if I was even still in this business. That cracked me up.

So to correct and clarify the record I’ll list off the phases my business and offerings have gone through over the years, and then ground the whole thing in how I was called to purpose at a certain point of my path - while briefly illuminating some milestones along the way.

✨2004-2006 figuring out how in the heck to make it an actual business. Even though I had been a sales trainer for Tony Robbins, I quickly figured out that the relationship between client and Guide is too intimate to simply bolt on a sales system from some other business - which is where most coaches and those teaching coaches how to build their business get it wrong.

✨2006-2008 and to the Present: offering comprehensive Personal Evolution - with three phases to that structured - yet formless - 6-month program. What do I mean by that? The Phases 1. Healing and Clearing, 2. Education, self-esteem, sense of self, navigating your interiors, etc., and 3. Integration and ad hoc application were always the same regardless of the context, just sometimes called other things. But the form - what was handled in each phase - is entirely dependent on the outcomes drawn out of the client. It is purely in service of those.

🔥At one point I signed 49 clients in a row to 6-month programs [no one said no in that stretch] so I figured it was time I systematized my sales system - or reverse-engineered it is more accurate.🔥

✨2008-2014-ish I added teaching coaches and holistic practitioners how to build their businesses. The best part of my sales system is ~98% of the people I work with report it never feels like sales because it is entirely outcome-based. More on that another time.

🔮But if you think that personal evolution is not part of building your business you are … mistaken. Clearing out negative imprints and beliefs about money and spirituality, working on your worthiness of receiving, clearing fear and anxiety, and perhaps shame are all critical for your business success. So we always start there because then when we implement business strategies in Phase 2, it moves with so much more velocity and ease in your nervous system.

✨2014-2018 I did a few corporate gigs for small personal development companies - both designing coaching packages for them and teaching their team how to sell them ethically using my system.

✨2019 my attention turned to relationships, so-called “polarity”, and … well, what a clean, healthy, and evolved relationship would look and feel like.

It clearly began as more of a critique of the complete stuff I saw out there in the space. So many unclean and unhealthy principles that were clearly coming from a place of regression and for most relationship coaches - clearly from their wounding rather than from a place of vision and emergence. And as a die-hard romantic, I felt there was simply a better way.

Some of you may have seen my 4-part series on my website critiquing polarity coaches (especially the male coaches).

✨Along the way I designed and facilitated 5 NLP Evolutionary NLP Practitioner certifications - all 7 months long - in 2006, 2017, 2019, 2020, and 2022. Why “evolutionary”? Because to me, all work we do is better served by understanding Integral Theory - Quadrants, Levels, Lines, States, and Types. So both stages of ego development and emotional and moral development a la Graves, Gebser, Kohlberg and Gilligan, Wilber, et al - or simply verticality (or stages of depth if you prefer that metaphor) is critical to know what your client needs when, in what order, for what outcome.

But in terms of rapid transformation healing your past reducing triggers and clearing trauma - including generational trauma - there is nothing more efficient, elegant, effective, and holistic than processes like Time Line Clearing, Parental, Core Transformation, sub-modality shifts, and the like.

And therein lies another misconception about my work. While yes, I have been a certified NLP Master Practitioner and trainer since 1995 [29 years now], I do not identify as such.

I am an Evolutionary Guide™ (which transcends but includes “coach”). I accelerate evolution. Your evolution. But it also means I work within an Integral framework.

My work is best suited for people who have already done a lot of personal development - perhaps in weekend workshops, etc, and even therapy, but want more intentionality around their outcomes with more effective approaches.

ANYWHO ...

I am also offering another Evolutionary NLP Practitioner Certification training. This will be the 6th.

It is designed for coaches, healers, practitioners, professional communicators, and humans who just want to massively accelerate their personal development within a container - and with logistics designed - for integration.

It kicks off in just a few months.

You can see full details for the NLP training (including curriculum, logistics, and an extensive FAQ section here: https://evolutionarycompanies.com/nlp-training

If you want to have a complimentary 30-minute initial conversation with me to see whether it makes sense for us to work together in service of your outcomes, you can just go ahead and schedule that here: https://calendly.com/evolve-co/30min

Wishing you only good things. Always.

In Your Service,

McClain

  383 Hits

The Need for Approval | Ego | Your Self-Worth is a Settled Matter

self-worth

[Originally written in August 2008 and posted with the client's permission]
 
Many people have read this piece and encouraged me to post it publicly. So, by popular demand... It is an email I posted to a client near the end of their completion of the Personal Evolution Program, and in it I address a need for approval, ego development, the purpose and motivation for personal evolution...and the distinction between self-worth and value, and more... Your self-worth is a settled matter if you will accept it as such. Enjoy.

::: ::: :::

Now back to you.

I was thinking about the approval thing. But first--you have come a long way. So stop, take a deep breath, turn around towards the sunset and enjoy the vista. You deserve it. 
 
"The mountain we climb in Personal Evolution is a bit like a mirage while hiking/climbing a mountain. You could stop now and camp for the night--or say, "forget this", it and go back down the mountainside.
 
Buuuuutt, you can also see there is a reachable summit. So you choose to go further--yet...when you reach what you thought would be the summit, there is yet another summit that materializes out of the mists. And this goes on forever. There is no omega point except when you choose to simply stop and rest. Unless and until you decide you are done.
 
Each of us have that choice every day.
 
For some, we still consciously choose to continue to deepen our depths--and plumb just behind them. There is no end or bottom to the depth -- there are only unplumbed depths. For others, they have achieved a high enough peak, that there is no motivation--no real-life reason--to climb the next.  And there are others I will not list in the interests of time. I choose--consciously--to evolve further when I should or must--that is when my business or financial or relational results are inhibited by some aspect of myself. Otherwise, I am pretty darned content with where I am at-BUT I still need to have constant attention on where I need to be for others in the context in which I want to move with greater velocity--or frankly, sometimes, ANY velocity. 
 
I urge you to make the same or a similar real world criteria as you become more and more comfortable with you you are...and as you come to full acceptance of yourself, there is a pitfall of not caring what others think--and disregarding their feedback. Care what others think in practical terms--and care deeply--as it fosters results. However, do not care about their opinions and judgments of you as a personal matter. That is--think about the practical results and adjust based on feedback, but know that as an internally validated man, the matter of your self-worth is settled. The question of the value you bring to people and the world in this context or that context, well, that is never settled as it depends on too many variables [each individuals expectations and sensibilities, your skill and competence in the domain, your sensitivities/awareness when adjustments are needed, market forces, etc.]. But that is a separate practical matter. 
 
The personal: your self-worth, is a settled matter. It is...well, pick your preference/metaphor: it is good. It is priceless. It is worth-full. It is Spirit manifest. It is divine. 
 
As for the seeking of approval-that is obviously pretending as if your worth could be determined externally. It can not. Whether you realize it yet or not, you still have to accept the opinion of others--good, bad, right, wrong--to have their opinions matter. In other words, you have the ultimate choice still--even if you are not exercising it to as full a degree as you will enjoy in the future. 
 
But why even do this work? What does it make possible? Why spend the time, energy, and the--at times--grueling work of dis-identification, detachment, and internalizing validity when you notice it as external? Why forgo the feel good and the short term false ego pump of compliments? 
 
In a word: Freedom. Freedom from what? 
 
Freedom from the ebbs and flows of the opinions and judgments of others. Why is this important? So you can gather feedback, without the moral and emotional cloud of personal meaning. Here is the challenge with tying your valuation to another's opinions: you are not only cast about from one end to the other, AND the problem with that is that people react from and interpret through their stage of egoic, emotional, and values meme stage of development. There will be patterns and probabilities, and all feedback is valid for them, but there is only so much contorting you can engage in, and stay sane and centered, and more importantly, live authentically--true to yourself.
 
Additionally, believe me, as someone who has had people tell me I am a god [literally] on more than one occasion and at times, had people tell me I was an a**hole and the devil's spawn [literally] I came to realize that no matter what they say, the truth is somewhere in the middle, and their acknowledgments and their judgments are worth only one thing: getting specifics around those experiences [I did X Y and Z in A context and they felt B emotion as a result] for the purpose of adjusting my behavior for improved results. 
 
Their characterizations are worthless except as crude pointers to their stage of development because, again, we interpret through and react and respond from our stage of development And even then, I have to gauge how valuable it is -- determined solely by how large a percentage of people are at that stage and would react/interpret the same way. 
 
All feedback is valid--and everyone's emotional experience is valid as it is and to be left untouched unless requested otherwise. However, not all feedback is valuable
 
Now, what I can not say is where the line is between the idea that they are responsible for their own emotional experience--and you are not--and where you are responsible for your impact on others and the results you garner. That is a line I have yet to determine for myself after nearly a decade of inquiry. I do know that I tend to move more and more towards having room for the emotional reactions I create in others-sometimes by simply walking through the room, or making a benign comment about my schedule, or not noticing someone in a room I am in--having space for that and having them feel valid without my trying to adjust their experience is a skill I am still developing and only in the last year and a half feel fully competent at. And I get it right about 65% of the time. 
 
Circling back--the thing to remember is that you are already determining your own worth, by agreeing or disagreeing with those who assess you as good/bad or some variation. You still have to buy into their perspective. And since you are the ultimate decider, decide now, that irrespective of the value assessments they are making and the validity of the feedback, the matter of your self-worth is settled. 
 
We were told a lie as children--something about original sin. It is more accurate to say we were born with universal innocence. And imagine, the preciousness and the innocence of a blameless child. At your core...that is you irrespective of any behaviors that are not aligned--YOU, at your core, are precious and pure, and have a hologram of divinity that you are reflecting and projecting. 
 
To think otherwise is an error--a mistake--and nothing more. 
 
In Service and in Evolution, 
 
Jason

  24230 Hits