Evolutionary Blog

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One of the CLC3 Apprentices recently asked me a very important question.

He asked about the problem of becoming attached to the outcomes of the client--in other words, “what happens if they do not achieve them? What happens if they do not hold up their end of the bargain [doing homework, reading, etc.], and what does that mean about us? How do I avoid this problem—and the discomfort of it all”.

“And what happens if--even worse, they have already paid in advance in full and it becomes clear they are not keeping up with the milestones that are necessary as sign-posts on the way to their destination we call 'goals' or 'outcomes'? What do we do?”

This is an important question and it has a several-part answer. It is important because it comes up for most coaches and practitioners; at some point you really, really want XYZ for the client. Yes, they must be outcomes the client wants [not outcomes you see they "need" but they do not resonate with] but even still, with their outcomes we get emotionally engaged--we care--and we want them to have XYZ really badly.

Part of the challenge is that we are not responsible for the lives of our clients--we can't be. They would get less out of the process if we were; at best, we would actually be inhibiting their growth if we take on that responsibility. They might blame us; they would take less responsibility for creating the life they want and deserve. It could become the coaches "fault" or for some, the coaching [or whatever you call the process] will be just another thing that did not work for them, etc.

And we created that with our attachment.

So the first part of the answer is to make clear to the client--practically--that we are not responsible for their life; that they are. How do we do this? We write it directly into the client-coach agreement that they "are responsible for the results of their life, business, relationship", etc. And given how some people can be when they are making large life-altering decisions, we review the agreement and then we further clarify and have them initial each paragraph while reviewing it with them to make sure we have done our due diligence as a practitioner in making sure they understand the nature of the relationship is one of trusted adviser--nothing more—and that they understand the agreement in full.

That is the practical aspect.

What about the interpersonal aspect? The actual coaching dynamic? Because you see, to complicate matters if you seem attached [that is you start become emotionally attached to their outcomes, you may engage them in a way that has them polarize, dig in, and resist you--and they start to resist you in ways that will not serve the process overall.

Or worse...

Or worse--they do not do their "homework"--whatever that may be or represent--and they are scared to tell you. In the worse cases they may simply go missing in action. Or they become dishonest.

This is simply another reason I am not a "coach" I am a "Guide" and that approach is something I am careful to embody in every interaction--they do not do their "homework" I communicate to them--with a compassionate smile and a shrug--that I want them to get their outcomes. That I care; and I may even ask them how they best want to be supported. How they want to be held accountable--and I have them design the dynamic.

I have found this softer approach--with nothing for them to resist or push back against--is far more effective than any hard-nosed techniques by far.

Finally [and at times most importantly] is our own development as we, as practitioners, continue our path: who we are is not the results we assist clients in achieving [both positive, amazing over-the-top goals as well as "failures". Who we are is not that.

Those are the results we assist them in producing, to be sure, and we are professionally responsible for that, but who we are is that which is experiencing it all. Who we are is that Witness; that locus of awareness. And as we come from that place, we will be even more effective, they will feel more freedom to expand and grow within that gentle, ever-present embrace. From that place, where universal beauty unfolds, we are reminded why we do what we do--for that expansion. And within that expansion a better, more joyous, more beautiful world awaits us all.

Why NOT to Use "Hypnotic Sales" Techniques:

Often I get asked to teach someone "hypnotic sales" or some variation; anchoring, state association, etc. The idea is that if you associate someone into a positive state, then anchor yourself to that for them, this will be an effective sales technique--even if it has nearly nothing to do with your offering or the functional fit between your prospective client, and their needs with your services.

There are other ideas and approaches about this, but I am going to give just that one example. They are all of that flavor.

These techniques are thought to be very powerful, and some of the most effective techniques available. Which is partly true. They may be in the very short-term sense. They are also a nightmare strategically, in the long-term sense. Not only do I advise against it, I categorically consider them unethical in most situations.

If a prospective client cannot remember how they arrived at the decision to work with you [and as a good measure, if you can not easily remind them in writing over an email] then you are going to have blowback at some point in the future.

"Buyer's remorse" does not quite cover it.

So not only do I have people agree that they will only use the tools of influence that I do teach in service of someone else's outcomes [not their own], but I also advise against and refuse to teach hypnosis or anchoring in the context of sales and influence in the Evolutionary Sales process. It is anathema to all that Evolutionary Sales is. If you are always coming from the place of using tools of influence ONLY to assist another in achieving their outcomes, it is virtually guaranteed you
 be selling ethically.

Now there are trainers and entertainers and presenters and "edutainers" who not only use the hypnotic sales techniques, but teach it, brag about it, and sell products to do the very things I mentioned above as unethical in my not-so-humble opinion. I have also dealt with enough of their customers post-fact that I can say the resentments and shattered hopes as a result of that strategy is frustrating to watch and painful to behold, empathetically.

On the one hand, given the volume that people like Christopher Howard and Tony Robbins produce in terms of attendees, it is hard not to be grateful for what they are doing in the world in exposing people to rapid transformation. And to be honest, I am not sure how you could do it any other way in terms of sales with a crowd that large.

While hypnotic sales may be effective and the only viable solution in a large crowd [I question that, but it is efficient for short-term-monetary gain]; it is a toxic approach for those of us in solo-businesses as practitioners. 

There is a better way, where all sides are more effectively served. 

 What I do know is that if you are opening a relationship [rather than "closing deals"] You must engage the prospect in inquiry, mostly to be certain you can be of service. Once that is assured, direct them to consider if they did have the solution they seek what it would open up in their lives and then if you are certain you are a fit for their needs and they are a fit for you, then you can ethically open the relationship.

This is the process we teach in the Coaching the Life Coach Apprentice Program. This is the approach that assures conversion rates of over 95% AND what I call a "stick rate". In other words--no relationship fall off from buyer's remorse.

At the upcoming event I am not only going to teach this entire ethical sales process for free, but I will give you all the nuts and bolts you need to have high conversion rates in your introductory sessions.

Every nut and bolt I know how to deliver to you. In service of you having sustainability of finances, your clients having sustainability of change, so we can all create a better world together as we accelerate the Evolution of Consciousness.

Join us. RSVP now to reserve your spot

How Has the Marketplace's Current Economic Conditions Affected Our Business?

There is more money now for coaches, consultants, and holistic practitioners who are effective than before the economic downturn; it is also harder to acquire it [for some/most].

How can this be?

What do I mean?

People know they need assistance in being more effective now. Those in business for themselves who were able to scrape economic cream off the top are no longer able to; money is not simply just bubbling forth. As a result, they are looking for coaches and practitioners to assist them in gaining skill, becoming more effective, systematizing their businesses, etc.

And in some cases, if they are aware enough, becoming more at ease both physically and emotionally.

What this translates to is more business for those of us who are effective both at providing service to our clients, but also at turning prospective clients into clients and clients into raving fans.

For coaches and practitioners, this is a good thing if you are effective.

If you are not, this is the End of Days for your practice.

I would prefer if you were in the former category rather than in the latter.

Simultaneously, prospective clients are making more careful choices-there is plenty of choice out there. Where they put their money Is now a more conscious choice;  a more careful choice.

Your process needs to be immaculate or they will go somewhere else.

Simultaneously, people want more for their money and there is less latitude and grace for ineffective, non-results-producing practitioners. And they may be out of work, and they may have the time to actually invest in the endeavor of reporting their results-no matter how wildly inaccurate they may perceive the process of working with you. [Frankly, I have become more careful about who I take on as a client as a result].

What that means to you is that not only do you need to be a more effective practitioner all the time, but you also need to become a more and more effective sales professional all.the.time.

To assist you in that, there is a free event in San Francisco on April 28th in the evening. See details about that here:

http://tinyurl.com/clbnek

Daniel from Portugal [http://yogaportugal.com] writes:

I am really loving [Evolutionary Sales] it has turn my world around, I am listening to them in order and I am now on ES012 so if the next 2 two question I have for you have already been answered on the show I would appreciate it if you could direct me to it.

The idea of an integrity and service-based sale is one that I even without knowing had been searching for quite some time, I am very glad I have found you.

Glad you are finding it of value.

As I said I have two questions that have been haunting me.

1. What if when talking to someone you are trying to sell to you realize that the person doesn’t need the product you are selling? You make it seem like it is always a matter of the right context and the right motivational techniques.

I walk away from the sale. I tell them I do not think it is a fit or that it will not serve them. It is that simple and that direct. No amount of money is worth the hassles that will come from trying to force it. It rarely happens to me because I make sure to qualify them [by "qualify" I mean that I need to be reasonably certain--over 85% certain--that I can be of service to them effectively and assist them in getting what they want]. But if and when it does happen, I do exactly what is stated above.

2. I would like to know how much thought you have gave to the notion of not permitting the person to wait before making the decision. I have develop a philosophical principle so to say that I should not decide any big amount of money sale on my first contact with the sales person. I has served me well in the past for I have examples of things that now I am really glad I haven’t bought and I have examples of things that each day that passed until I bought it my motivation to get it just kept rising and so did my faith in the product and the sales person. Someone who urges me to make a decision right then always strucks me as wanting to sell. But when someone is confident in their product enough not force to make a decision it may well be that I am there in the next day to “open the relationship”.

It is a great question. It is also a very common one, so I am glad to finally address it publicly.

In my business, people come to me wanting certain mental habits resolved, e.g.; fear, anger, anxiety, etc. They want other things too, but they know they want these negative habit patterns. If they go away to think about it, then they will start to have those same mental habit patterns that they have come to me to resolve take over. I have then essentially failed my first test as their Guide.

Now, if the business we some business other than the one I am in, then sure.

But with my business, what serves them best is to have them sign when they are clearest on my presentation, and are clearest as to the benefits. That means in that session. It has nothing to do with levels of confidence in my offering. Rather confidence in what will happen when they leave--and I simply tell them that all up front and directly.

They agree in most all cases. They know it is the truth. I think it is also critical that they never feel "pressured". They never do. I often will simply shrug when I tell them the above. I say it casually, in a relaxed manner, with nothing for them to resist. I am never attached to someone signing. If they sign under pressure, the sale might drop off. That serves no one.

When the reason for signing is a simple truth they know to be true, and I am coming from that place of service, it just has them all the more convinced I can [and do] help them. It is also hard to argue with 97.7% [my current opening ratio averaged for the last 3 years with 220 prospects with a significant commitment to a 6-month agreement ]. If my ratio were lower, I might look there first.

Read this sentence to yourself in your mind or out loud:

"My life is the sum total of my own choices; the state of my business is the sum total of my choices".

As you read that and re-read that, what is your experience? Do you feel excitement? Pride? Shame? Do you sense a burden on your shoulders? What does it weigh in your mind? Do you quickly move to insist it is not your "fault". That it was out of your control? That it was this circumstance or that circumstance? That you were "wronged"? Or "unlucky"?

Or do you experience a comforting and/or challenging level of acceptance. A "yup" with a quiet nod of your head?

One thing is for certain-your relationship to that sentence is a good indicator of your level of self-esteem, or your level of healthy egoic development in the positive sense. You see, it is not the big ego that needs defending or asserting in the world; it is the small ego. It is not the big ego that is arrogant, self-righteous, or deflects responsibility and blames others; it is the small, pre-rational, pre-conventional, vengeful, ego-centric ego.

It is a challenging re-frame for most to get their minds around. But just ask yourself this: what kind of ego could achieve a non-dual sense of reality; what kind of ego could be one with all things, moment to moment? A big, huge ego. An ego so large it can be a yes to whatever is arising moment to moment and relate to it, be a part of it. That takes an expanded sense of self. Yet that ego is also diffuse. It is large, but it is flexible. It lacks rigidity. It does not need defending or asserting; it understands its power. As a result, there is nothing to prove to anyone-not even itself.